


Things I'll Never Say

by Claretgirl16



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Smut, Memories, Military, Past Lives, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2018-12-16 05:45:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 57,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11822463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Claretgirl16/pseuds/Claretgirl16
Summary: What if Bernie Wolfe was deputy CEO as well as being a trauma surgeon, alongside Henrik at Holby, and Serena Campbell had just gotten a move over from St James's where she was a prominent and well respected figure, to become joint lead of AAU with Ms Wolfe, would battle lines be drawn or would harmony reign?(Just a little new and different idea I've been throwing around in my head and thought I'd test the water with it to get your guys thoughts to see if and where I might be able take it, if it's met with a positive reaction. Enjoy!)





	1. Chapter 1

Serena Campbell.  
The formidable Serena Campbell apparently.  
Well from the various snippets of information that Bernie had heard she was.  
Not one to be messed with, bit of a stern woman, hard headed if the grapevine from St James's was anything to go by.  
Not that Bernie Wolfe listened or was remotely phased by the gossip that appeared from the staff and staff rooms of Holby, one thing she'd learned since becoming the deputy CEO is that gossip was one thing you shouldn't usually take much notice of, there was so much of it flying around from the various different wards and people you didn't know what was gossip and what was actual truth, but this about the woman in questions personality seemed a bit more viable, especially since Henrik had told Bernie that yes Serena Campbell could be rather what shall we say...blunt, cutting, single minded in her way of going about things, from his experience of her, and due to him being CEO and Serena having the high position in St James's she had their paths had crossed a few times and he'd been witness to the type of woman she was, the way she was in certain meetings they'd attended together, the way she carried herself, walked into the room and demanded attention, respect, and all the other things she wanted in this way.  
And so the conversation was had between the CEO and his deputy, since a position had been vacated by a doctor in AAU, the unit that Bernie was lead of, said vacant position being joint lead of AAU to help the trauma surgeon out since it'd been getting busier and busier, the one that Serena Campbell was now going to fill, it having come as a bit of a surprise to Bernie that it'd be Serena herself coming from St James's and her position there to relocate to Holby, apparently wanting the change of scenery and challenge of helping to run the AAU, pastures new and all that, seeing as she had no ties as such to keep her at St James's, no children and or husband, or anyone at all from what Bernie had gathered, so that wasn't a problem for the woman, seems she was a career woman, a workaholic, her career was numero uno in her life, one of those women.

 

And now here they were as Bernie sat in her office first thing Monday morning, a Pulses coffee on her desk, having come in early to check her emails and make sure no mountain of paperwork had found its way onto her desk as could sometimes happen when she'd had a weekend off, an empty desk would suddenly be littered with paperwork that had crept its way up from the wards and various other bits of notes and things that needed to be seen by the blonde, things it seemed everyone wanted doing as soon as she got in, not understanding that she like other human beings had but one pair of hands to sort things out, not the eight pairs that she swore some of the staff and higher up doctors thought that she had when they came politely or not to her to ask for things, or wanting things done, probably forgetting the fact that she herself, as well as being deputy CEO was a doctor and surgeon also and did have a department to run, yes the hospital didn't just revolve around snotty and impatient doctors who were too impatient and self important to wait their turn in the queue that never seemed to end some days, be it surgeries, patients incoming from other wards or hospitals or meetings, things of a clerical nature that needed her attention and her attention alone, or just questions from juniors that were sent down to get some experience on AAU, seen as it was seen as one of the best run departments in the hospital, especially with Bernie Wolfe at the helm, running a tight but efficient ship which showed in the happiness of the staff, doctors and nurses, a team spirit and feel amongst everyone, the AAU family.  
With the bits and pieces that had made their way to her desk over the weekend sorted, emails replied too, her eyes moved to the door as she heard a knock and looked at the time on the clock on the wall.  
8:30am.  
"Come in" remaining in her high backed, leather chair as the door opened to reveal a woman on the other side of the door, a brunette woman, one Bernie instantly recognised.  
Serena Campbell.  
Let the fun commence.  
"Ms Wolfe" watching the blonde rise from her chair, white shirt tucked into her black slim suit trousers, a black slim belt, blonde curls framing her face, flat boots on her feet.  
"Ms Campbell, please come in, take a seat" moving into the room and closing the door, her handbag being placed on the spare chair next to her and then taking the free seat, she herself in dark looser fitting trousers, a floaty blouse that came just below her waistline, a suit coat over the top, a thin scarf around her neck that she removed and placed next to her handbag, kitten heeled court shoes to finish her outfit, her brown hair cut into her neck and neatly finished, light make up and jewellery obviously dressed the part for a high flier that brought with her her St James's reputation.

 

With the introductions taking place quickly in the office and Serena signing some papers for her contract that hadn't been ready at the time, Bernie led the brunette back out into the hospital and to AAU, giving her a quick tour on the way, not that the other woman seemed the most interested in the other places that she wouldn't be working, she was more focused on getting where they were meant to be heading, giving mumbles and short replies when they were needed from Bernie's information, the blonde letting her replies go and not reacting to the behaviour, looking up and swiping her card when they arrived at AAU moving into the ward, greeting Fletch and Morven, both of them recognising Serena, hearing and reading various things about her in their time.  
"Nurse Fletcher, Doctor Digby this is...".  
"Serena Campbell new joint lead of AAU" she interrupted before Bernie could finish, giving them both a quick nod of her head in greeting, before her attention was surveying the ward, taking it all in, Bernie frowning softly as Serena started wandering around, her eyes moving to the office. "I take it this is my office too now" opening the door and stepping in, Fletch and Morven watching the blonde roll her eyes and then follow her.  
"This might make things around here that bit more interesting" Fletch mumbled watching the two women in the office, the door open still.  
"Well interesting is certainly one way of putting things, she's not backwards in coming forwards Ms Campbell is she" Morven replied, she also watching the two women, the door still wide open as the brunette took a look around the office that had been used for the leads of AAU.  
"So this now is my desk seen as there's two of us as joint leads now, although I think we'll need a coat stand in this corner too for my coat and bag to be hung up on" Serena stated looking around the office, standing behind the desk she now considered hers, weighing up anymore additions or improvements she saw that needed dealing with. "That will be all for now I think, you can sort that out for me can't you?" now looking to the blonde stood in the same space as her giving her a little smile and then sitting down on the chair, turning the computer on and setting it up with her credentials before rising again, putting her suit coat on the back of her chair, her handbag on the floor and again looking at Bernie who hadn't moved that far since she'd last seen her, this partly due to the blonde trying to take in this other woman and her 'orders', not one for being stuck for words or actions, but also not one for being quite so 'bossed around' by someone supposedly equal in rank to her as far as her doctor and surgeon status was concerned, although Bernie being deputy CEO gave her that bit higher a rank if they were going to start splitting hairs.

 

"I'll have to see what I can do about your requests" Bernie replied, stepping to the side to allow the other woman room to pass out the door, which was obvious she wanted to do, talk about eagerness and enthusiasm from a new member of staff.  
"Very good" Serena nodded. "Now I think we've had enough small talk for now, I think it's time I took a look at how this ward is run, see if any improvements can be made, see if there's anything to be done to increase efficiency, increase turnover, things like that" stopping as she reached the door before moving through it. "Don't worry, I'll inform you of any of my findings and what I think we could do to make AAU better, then we can have a discussion can't we" giving a quick, tight smile, leaving the office and walking into the ward, leaving Bernie stood on the spot in the office, trying to take in the last few minutes of being barraged with information, or should that be orders from the brunette, taking a deep breath.  
Well.  
This is going to be interesting.  
Interesting maybe not exactly the right word.  
But it's better than some I could have used just now.  
Henrik wasn't joking when he said she was blunt and somewhat single minded.  
Not joking at all.  
Let the AAU 'fun' commence.


	2. Chapter 2

Long days jeez.  
Well yes it was long days but it was anyway, these weren't helped or made to feel that little bit longer by the fact that the new lead was thinking of herself as the only lead or that's the way it was coming across to Bernie, team this with the number of staff members coming to her on the ward during a shift asking for confirmation of instructions on repeated occasions, Bernie eventually pulling one of them aside to find out just what was going on, confused by the fact that this kind of thing had just started happening, the blonde never having had to repeat herself as much in all her time here, confused as to what was actually happening in her ward, her department, her 'kingdom' as such, her team seeming to be confused and a bit disjointed and not quite running as smooth as things were used to.  
"What exactly is going on in here today, why are you all seeming unsure and asking me to confirm certain things so many times, it's like this place is running on autopilot or something?" she asked one of the nurses, who started to explain that Ms Campbell had come over when some of them were dealing with the patients and decided that what Bernie had decided what tests they needed to start off with weren't thorough enough and other sets and extras were needed instead and that's what they were to do, this immediately throwing the staff into turmoil at which lead they should be listening to, worried about disobeying either woman, hence them repeatedly coming to the blonde to double check things that usually were routine for them all, this revolution immediately starting to irritate the trauma surgeon.  
Yes I know she's now a joint lead of the ward but bloody hell.  
We've only just starting working together this week and look.  
Look at the chaos and confusion we've got.  
Staff don't know whether they're coming or going.  
Who to listen to.  
Which tests to do and which ones not to do.  
If they should not do mine.  
Not do hers.  
Spend time doing all of the tests together, as well as having new patients coming in.  
Discharging others.  
Bloody hell.

 

"Ms Campbell please can I have a word?" Bernie asked the brunette who had come back to the nurses' station to put some files on the desk, looking up at the request and then at the clock on the wall behind Bernie.  
"Very well, but make it quick I've got patients I need to attend too" her tone flat and to the point, this also becoming a source of irritation to the blonde, like Serena was some big boss coming in here off the cuff and Bernie and the other staff were her minions who didn't have work to do, the remark causing a grit of the teeth from the trauma surgeon, moving to the side of the ward out of earshot of the patients and staff, not wanting to be heard speaking.  
"It seems as though the staff are becoming a bit confused as to who to listen to in terms of instructions on patients, I'm well aware sometimes this might happen in certain cases but this is happening it seems most of today and it's mainly when I've requested tests on these patients, they're coming to me and asking if they should in fact do certain tests I've asked for or the extra ones that you've asked them to do that I didn't feel necessary...." being interjected.  
"Well I feel they are necessary though hence why I asked them to do them, it is a team in here yes but if I see room for extra tests and things to be done then I request them and that's why I've done it with these patients and the staff have done them, they shouldn't need to come to you seen as I am a lead in this department now, yes you are a lead too but sometimes I feel that little details may have been overlooked by yourself and want to be able to help rectify them, get all the bases covered as it were, wouldn't want to miss things would we, not if we can help it, if I see anything else like this don't worry I'll let you know" she replied without an ounce of regret or doubt on her face or in her voice, giving Bernie a smile. "Now I must get back to my patients" she added and moved away from Bernie before the blonde could reply again, Bernie stood looking on slightly shocked by the outright upfront and self assured nature of the brunette, her fists clenching at her sides, trying to keep her calm at the patronising tone that came across when Serena spoke to her.  
What the fuck just happened?  
Did she speak to me like an F1.  
What the hell is this.  
I'm a joint lead in here.  
Deputy CEO.  
And this is what's happening here.  
My staff and I are running around each other like idiots.  
Being played like puppets by this puppet master.  
Who the hell does she think she is exactly?  
She might have ruled all and sundry at St James's but not here.  
It's not St James's.  
It's Holby.  
And this is my ward.  
My unit.  
My staff.  
Yes she's joint lead but she doesn't run the bloody place.  
Not at all.  
And she's not thinking that either.  
We're not even starting down that road because god knows where that would take us.  
A slippery slope to being ruled by Serena Campbell.  
Not a chance.  
I'll see how it goes for a bit and if it carries on, or looks like it will, then I'll have to step in and do something, say something.  
You're not at St James's anymore Serena.

 

Composing herself for a few more minutes, Bernie then made her way back into the main hub of the ward and to carry on attending to her patients, bracing herself for more of the same from the staff or Serena herself, hoping that it didn't happen, probably a big hope to hope for.  
And so the ward continued for the next few days heading to the weekend in the same vein, tensions simmering just underneath the surface between the two of them, the brunette continue to exert her new found position on the staff, cutting into Bernie's decisions and changing them slightly, giving the doctors and nurses different jobs to do on the occasions the ward wasn't as busy, Bernie trying to intervene and not have them doing certain things, god this woman was all over everything and everyone in this ward like a rash, it didn't take long did it, she's only been here for a week, one week.  
"Ms Campbell?".  
"Serena is fine when we're in the office" she replied, not looking up from her computer screen the following Monday morning, both of them in the office, Serena sat at her side of the desk and Bernie stood just inside the door, the blonde dressed in her suit and white shirt, minus the jacket, that was left in her CEO office on the back of her chair, finding it too restrictive to wear until absolutely necessary in the formal setting of meetings and such that she was getting used to in her deputy role in the hospital, then when such things were over the jacket came off again, she'd be damned if she was going to be cocooned in it, not a chance.  
"I'm needed in various meetings most of this week so that means that you'll be left on your own to run AAU a lot of the time, just thought I'd let you know so you could plan and prepare for it" watching Serena stop her typing to look up at the blonde.  
"That's more than alright, I can more than handle things here whilst you're away" a certain glint in her eye as she replied, it being obvious she was probably relishing the fact that Bernie was going to be in meetings for a while this week, Bernie watching as the brunette turned back to her screen, the blonde almost able to see the cogs starting to turn in her head and plan the way she was going to run the ward as soon as Bernie stepped foot out of the door.  
"Right well, I'll see you later then" Bernie said, moving to leave the office, glancing back at the brunette.  
"Oh yes you will, I'll be here" a happy, almost glad tone to her voice that she was preparing for 'free reign' over AAU, with the blonde 'out of the way' up in meetings she was taking full control of Bernie's kingdom, all the staff were answerable to her, Serena Campbell, the temporary lead in charge of the department.  
Pausing again as she moved past the office window, she quickly glanced at the brunette still sat in the office, her brown eyes glued to the screen, a vision of Serena moving into the ward the moment Bernie left, rubbing her hands to herself at the chance to rule the roost, not that that hadn't started happening the moment she'd stepped foot in what was now their office, making her requests, demands if you'd have asked Bernie.

 

Bloody coming in here lording it up over us, over me, the front.  
The front that Henrik said she has.  
The front that had obviously been allowed to run riot and take over in St James's.  
Well not now, now she's in Holby and I'm not going to let anyone run riot in here.  
Yes I'm deputy CEO and have meetings to attend to that will require me to leave the ward in her charge, but it's temporary charge.  
Not permanent.  
Hell no not permanent.  
And well we all know she's going to run this her way, with her methods, in a slight dictatorship no doubt if what I've seen is anything to go by.  
But I can't see the staff responding well if at all to this kind of thing, she's going to find it very difficult to run the ward in this way, she'll have some very unhappy members of the team on her hands.  
People that won't respond to being talked over, talked down to in some circumstances, being talked to like they don't know their jobs, when in fact they know them very well and I've never found cause to question them otherwise.  
But well if she wants to do things her way then well good luck in that Ms Campbell, Serena, because by god with the ways you want to do things and the methods you have you're going to have quite a time of it this week on your own, what are long days and weeks anyway in Holby could just be made that bit longer and more stressful with your insistence of doing things in your way or the highway.  
But I'm not going to be here that much so I'm going to sit back and wait for the eruptions to start because as you pointed out on a few occasions, you are now a lead here too and are apparently more than capable of handling things whilst I'm otherwise busy elsewhere, well be my guest, let's see how you manage before it gets too much, I'm giving you less than two days maximum.  
The blonde took one final glance at the brunette in the office and then the staff all moving around the ward before letting herself out of said ward and heading for the lift, riding it to her office, collecting her suit coat and a couple of files from her desk, making her way down the corridor for the first of her many meetings that day.  
Enjoy your day Serena.  
Don't work too hard.  
Or try to ruffle too many feathers will you.


	3. Chapter 3

Count to ten.  
Count to twenty.  
At this bloody rate it'll be triple figures if this carries on.  
And then I might not be able to keep my mouth shut.  
Fucking hell talk about stressful.  
This was meant to try and stop things being as stressful for me wasn't it, not make it even more so.  
Great idea Henrik.  
Fantastic.  
It'd been a long week of various meetings dotted through Bernie's schedule of operations and nipping into check on things in the AAU, lending a hand at various times, it was probably just as well given some of the anarchy she'd witnessed, or what was near enough anarchy to Bernie, not what she'd considered the 'right' way to run or do things in the ward.  
Serena on the other hand thought it was exactly the right way to do things, run it with a 'precision' that only she knew, after all she'd been head hunted to go to St James's all those years ago and look at the way it was now running, everyone knew their place and job and Serena had led them all, she'd led the troops to coin a phrase she'd heard Bernie say a few times whilst she'd been in and out of the ward between other apparently more 'pressing matters', these of which she decided not to inform Serena of.  
But this wasn't St James's and Serena Campbell wasn't 'lording it up' here no matter what her inflated ego had told her, she was here as a joint lead, not a lead, a joint lead, something it seemed Bernie had been unable to get across still this week when tensions had been rising further between the pair when they'd clashed for the umpteenth time over something to do with patient care, or tests, or treatment, or which member of staff should do this, or not do this, or go here or go there, basically most things, most things it seemed the brunette liked arguing or picking fault at, thinking she was all knowing and knew best, better than Bernie, or thought at the time she did seen as she'd ran a department over at St James's.  
All this simmering tension and angst had now reached a head with all the patients being dealt with and looked after by the staff and their various tests had been sent off and were now awaiting the results, by which time the two women had moved into the office, the door open ajar and started an argument, one that no one was surprised at, they were only surprised it hadn't happened sooner in the week.

 

"But it's not St James's though is it, how many times have I said this this week because I'm getting fed up of saying it!" Bernie said, stood in her suit pants and white shirt, having not long finished her last meeting of the afternoon and ventured down to check how things were and if she could do anything, ok minimal things due to the fact she was in meeting attire, but the thought was there, not expecting what she was now doing.  
"I'm very aware of where we are Bernie you don't need to tell me, I've heard you say it enough this week too, well when you've actually been here" the cutting remark widening the blonde's eyes and flaring her nostrils, balling her fists before heading out of the office as she felt her blood boil even more, pressing the exit button and heading for the stairs, not in any mood for waiting for the lift.  
What a fucking cheek!  
What does she think I've been doing all week?!  
Just sat on my arse in my office drinking coffee?!  
And who is she to tell me about what I can say to anyone, especially the likes of her when she comes into my ward as joint lead and then proceeds to take over and undermine me at every bloody turn!  
If it's not one thing then it's another, it's like she goes out of her way to find things that she considers 'wrong' to put 'right'.  
Not that there isn't enough patients to treat or paperwork to do on the ward, but she has to go and find other things to do and 'sort out'.  
Fucking hell I've not known anything or anyone like it in my life.  
I've worked with some egos and difficult people in my time.  
But her.  
Her.  
Well she's on another bloody level.  
A level that's pushing my own blood pressure level.  
And pushes my bloody buttons.  
Jeez.  
Reaching her office in a haze of frustration and tiredness, she swiped her card to go in, a sense of relief starting to come over her when she stepped in, at least here she could escape from the madness for a while, escape from the battleaxe that was Serena.

 

Like the week hadn't been stressful enough with all the department meetings and then the operations and surgeries on top of this, then add in the paperwork and things that needed Bernie's eyes over them from various departments in the hospital, them requiring the deputy CEO's eyes and only her eyes, everyone seemingly wanting a piece of the blonde, and now here came the brunette choosing this Friday evening to start a full blown argument in the middle of the ward, one that she seemed only too happy to carry on in the office, hence why Bernie had chosen to walk away, walk away before she said something she might regret, something she'd said in her tired and mentally exhausted state, something that she probably wouldn't want to say.  
"Don't walk away from me Bernie" came the voice breaking Bernie from her daydream and back to the present as she leaned against the front of her desk, too tired it seemed to make it to her big, high backed chair or the smaller visitor ones in front of the desk, her bum perched on the desk.  
She was here.  
Here in her office.  
Serena had followed her.  
Followed her all the way here to carry on the argument.  
Oh for god's sakes this woman.  
Talk about like a dog with a bone.  
Jesus.  
Does she ever give it up.  
Like at all.  
Bernie sighed at those dulcet, rather stern and loud tones right near her, closing her eyes for a moment before opening them again to see the brunette stood in her personal space, brown eyes glaring at her, obviously still primed for the argument.  
"And why the hell shouldn't I walk away, I walked away so I didn't have this, this arguing which is obviously getting us nowhere, or no wait, the fact you don't bloody listen is probably getting us nowhere!" Bernie gave back, her patience rather thin.  
"Me, how about the fact that maybe you don't listen to sound advice when it's being given, when I'm telling you a better way to run the department, I do know what I'm doing, I did it at St James's and have now come here to do the same".  
"But you're not at St James's now are you, and I like you know what I'm doing too, I am a lead too as well as you".  
"Exactly, we're co leads so I've now as much right to a say and opinion as you do Bernie!".  
"Yes a co lead, not the only bloody lead, jesus christ, I am actually talking to myself here aren't I, I'm convinced that I am, or getting ignored, one of the two" locking her eyes with Serena's, the brunette's stance still the same like it had been when she'd first followed Bernie into the office.  
"Talk about me not listening, I don't think you do much of that yourself in all fairness, not to me anyway" Serena said, not backing off or down to the blonde.  
"I don't listen, oh don't come at me with that, you don't bloody listen to me and not to the staff either!".

 

There was something about them both stood less than a foot apart, Serena on her feet in front of the blonde, Bernie still leaning on the desk, her legs not having the energy to do much else at that moment, both professional women at the top of their game, now having been put together to 'team up' all be it reluctantly it would seem, to work as a team on AAU, both considered the best people for the job, reputations built to such a height that there was no question that it'd be the pair of them running that ward, bringing different strengths and skills to the table, different qualities that no other two women had, no other women could do it like they could, something about the combined passionate energy that made the atmosphere in the office sizzle with a tension, an electricity.  
And yet here they were now, both with blood boiling through their veins in argument mode, neither willing to back down to the other, the blonde having tried to do the sensible thing and walk away from the source of the problem, take time out for both of them, try and calm down, but Serena had other ideas, she didn't want to take time out, she wanted it to carry on, to get her side and point, ok a few points across to a trauma surgeon who she thought needed to hear them, and so she'd followed her to her office, followed her all the way through the door, the blonde unaware of her presence until she opened her eyes and heard her speak, the surprise mixed with frustration obvious on her face and features.  
"You know what Serena, I'm not even going to carry on with this...this argument or whatever it is because it's just..." her sentence being cut short, cut short by the last thing she'd have ever expected.  
Lips.  
Lips on her lips.  
But these just weren't any lips.  
They were her lips.  
Her being Serena.  
Serena's lips being pressed to hers.  
Pressed tight against hers, a hand gripping one side of her shirt collar, the other in her messy, blonde curls pulling their lips and faces together.  
Kissing.  
Rather a lot of kissing, the brunette keeping her hands were they were for a few more seconds before releasing the blonde from her grip, taking a look straight into her eyes and then exiting the room, shutting the door behind her without a word, leaving a bemused and totally shocked Bernie in her wake.

 

Wait.  
What.  
Did that actually just happen?  
She kissed me.  
Serena Campbell.  
Serena Campbell just kissed me.  
Kissed me and then left.  
What the hell?  
What the hell was all that about?  
The blonde remained leaning against her desk as her mind tried to process the last fifteen minutes and what had just happen, staring into the space that had been left and then to the closed office door.  
What the hell just happened then?


	4. Chapter 4

Carry on as normal.  
Like nothing has happened.  
Moving around the ward.  
A normal shift.  
A normal day.  
Business as usual.  
Not a bother on her face or in her person.  
Nothing.

 

Greeting, well Serena's version of greeting the staff when she arrived in the morning.  
And then she breezed into the office where Bernie had just sat down with some paperwork from the previous few patients she needed to update on the system, something she only got done when the ward was under control and some patients had been moved elsewhere. the brunette greeting Bernie good morning and then sat down herself at her own desk, offering the blonde a little smile like she usually did, turning her eyes back to the screen and continuing her work.  
"Everything ok this morning?" the blonde asked as casually as she could into the silence, somewhat taken aback by the brunette's attitude to what happened the previous night, how calm and unaffected she was.  
"Yes everything is fine, the ward is running well, patients all being tended too and now there's this pile of paperwork to sort through, I'm sure you've got some too given how many patients we've had through our door recently" her tone calm and collected, focused, just like it had been from the moment she'd stepped into AAU.  
"Erm...yes, yes I have" Bernie replied, somewhat surprised but then not at Serena's normality given what had happened, she seemed good at this veil of normality.  
Serena gave a small nod and then looked back to her work, not bothered in the slightest by the kiss she administered to the blonde last night, the event seemingly erased from her mind, it having no effect on her, it looking like something she'd done for well, reasons the blonde had no idea why, it taking her by surprise at the time.  
And so the morning continued, both women working in the office, occasionally being called out back onto the ward to help, advise or see some patients and offer the nurses a hand in what was required, then returning back to the office to their paperwork pile that Bernie sworn was getting bigger and Serena's getting smaller.

 

Suddenly a few hours later they were dashing from the office and heading for their scrubs an emergency patient had just come to them and needed an operation, an operation that only her and Serena could perform, both women going straight into the theatre accompanied by a couple of doctors, but then the bickering started up again, the brunette wanting to perform surgery a certain way but the blonde disagreeing and saying it should be done a different way to better save and benefit the patient, looking to their colleagues for a second and third opinion, much to the surprise of Serena they both agreed with Bernie, after which the trauma surgeon proceeded to take charge of what was happening, a disgruntled Serena taking her part in the surgery for the welfare of the patient, but it becoming obvious that she wasn't in the least bit happy at being 'out voted' by Bernie and their other two colleagues in what she thought was the better option, expecting them both to see her suggestion as the best option, just like people had in St James's 99 percent of the time, especially when it came to life saving surgery, Serena Campbell knew best, she always knew best, hence why she'd been head hunted to her position in that hospital.  
With the operation and the patient being handed back over to the nurses on the ICU, Bernie was washing her hands and arms at the sink on the other side of the operating theatre, the brunette at her side, neither woman having said anything to each other since the surgery had finished, the atmosphere speaking all the words and feelings going on between the pair, this not going unnoticed but unsaid by the people who'd helped out during the surgery, a few knowing looks between them all and then at the two older women, communicating that the atmosphere and tension wasn't exactly going unnoticed to other people.  
"My suggestion would have been better for that surgery given the injury that was present" Serena started as she came through the door to wash her own hands, Bernie looking up from where she was now drying her hands and trying to steady her breathing from getting dragged into any kind of heated discussion or argument which had nearly broken out before the operation, not in the mood after such a lengthy and dangerous surgery for a further discussion with the brunette, having had more than enough of that to last her a lifetime.

 

Fucking hell.  
Give it a rest please.  
We're not going here again.  
I can't be bothered.  
The day has been long enough.  
Tiring enough.  
And this is not the kind of thing I intend on continuing right here and now.  
No way.  
Not again.  
Just no.

 

Ignoring Serena's statement, Bernie finished drying her hands and made for the door, walking through it and heading away from the theatre and down the corridor, her eyes on the locker room door, wanting to change back into her clothes and head home, not bothering about going to Albie's like some of the staff on AAU had suggested, politely declining their offer.  
Changing her scrub bottoms for her jeans and then removing her scrub top, Bernie was reaching into her locker, stood in just jeans, boots and her bra when familiar tones filled the locker room.  
"Why don't you listen to me instead of always walking away when I..." Serena stopping in her tracks when her eyes made contact with the half naked torso of the blonde, Bernie jumping and grabbing her scrub top to cover herself, even though she knew Serena had already seen her, but still wanting to gain some kind of modesty in the present situation, regardless of Serena being another woman she wasn't about to stand here with no top on in front of anyone and especially not the brunette considering their current working relationship.  
Bernie cleared her throat as both women stood in their same positions, the blonde feeling the brunette's eyes on her, her own hazel eyes on the floor for a few more minutes and then she raised them, Serena still looking at her, the brunette raising her eyebrow and giving Bernie a little smirk, the blonde studying her face trying to work out what was going in her mind, getting the feeling the cogs were definitely turning in there, typical surgeons brain, especially ones of the calibre of someone like Serena Campbell.  
"Do you mind if I actually get dressed here?" Bernie breaking the silence since the brunette hadn't said a word since she'd come in, instead she'd stayed looking at the blonde and smirking, a game playing smirk if you'd have asked Bernie, one that smacked of mind games, one up man ship, some ulterior motive, some hidden game the blonde wasn't privy too, obviously.

 

Does she actually have no qualms about this?  
What is happening here?  
Bloody hell we've moved from kissing to her bursting in here.  
And she actually doesn't care.  
There's not a bother on her face.  
She actually smirking.  
Standing there looking and smirking.  
Like she's enjoying it.  
Enjoying the atmosphere she's creating.  
Liking the fact that I'm uncomfortable.  
Relishing in it.  
Getting some like of enjoyment out of it.  
It's odd.  
I don't get it.  
Not at all.

 

"I said do you mind if I actually get dressed....on my own" she repeated with a bit more force behind her tone, her eyes with Serena's, not wanting to have a set of eyes on her anymore, especially when they were Serena's eyes, wanting the brunette out of the room and away from her, fed up of her nonsense for another day, just wanting to get out of the hospital to her own place and to get some kind of relaxation before she was back here in the morning and it started all over again.  
"Not at all" Serena smirked, giving Bernie a final glance up and down before she headed for the door, smiling to herself on opening and then closing the door, fully aware of Bernie's eyes following her as she left the room, this causing her to smile that bit more, well this and the fact she'd got a rise out of the blonde, not that Serena wasn't starting to realise how easy that was to do, leaving a bemused and puzzled Bernie stood half naked in the locker room, the trauma surgeon watching the brunette leave, moving over to temporarily lock the door, at least until she was fully dressed, not trusting that Serena wouldn't come back in or anyone else for that matter.  
"For fucks sake she's having a try at bursting in on me getting changed just to continue an argument, and then she stands there smirking about it, what is this woman's game...something I've not got a clue about quite clearly, fucking hell" Bernie grumbled to herself before proceeding to quickly pull her t shirt on and then her coat, making sure everything was in her locker, retrieving her bag, unlocking the door, taking a quick glance to see if the brunette was hanging about still, which she wasn't, thank god, making her way away from the locker room, to the main entrance and out to her car, allowing herself a sigh as she turned the ignition on and then pulled out of her space and then the car park, turning onto the main road.


	5. Chapter 5

With the shift finished and clothes changed a couple of days later, scrubs left behind after another hectic day in the life of Holby, some of the AAU team had decided to grab a drink or two at Albie's, again asking Bernie to join them and this time she accepted, it had been a long day and she'd not gone last time because of the life saving surgery her and Serena had had, but the day hadn't been as bad today and she thought she deserved a drink, running between paperwork in her office, a meeting and then working on AAU she'd certainly run her way around the hospital to be deserving of a casual drink with her colleagues.  
Moving through the main doors a little way behind the rest of them, she'd been out of the hospital just a little later than they were and said she'd meet them there, they should go ahead and get her a drink in because she had earned, well she could use her position of power to get a cheeky drink from her colleagues, colleagues and friends, a request that Fletch scoffed and then chuckled at, saying seeing as it was Bernie that he'd let her off, but she was getting the second round in.  
The door closing behind her she stepped into the bar, glancing around and catching sight of the team around a table in the corner, Morven giving her a smile and signalling that there was a drink for her over here, getting a smile back from Bernie as she made her way over, her eyes falling on one of the people sat at the table, well the back of their head, the back of her head.

 

Her head.  
Serena.  
Serena was with them.  
Here.  
With the team.  
At the table.  
Having a drink.  
A glass of wine.  
Well this I didn't expect.  
Or particularly want.  
But I couldn't actually say this.  
Well I could but it wouldn't go down well.  
Or be seen as nice.

 

Taking a breath and straightening herself up that little bit more she made her way over to the table, finding a chair had been left free for her, a single chair next to Morven and it was positioned surprise surprise across from Serena, well at least it wasn't next to her, that would've been a bit too close for comfort, given the past few 'events' that had taken place, no a few feet apart was more than good enough.  
"Evening Bernie" came the first voice through the murmurs of the bar and the rest of the team talking, this voice being easily recognisable as that of Serena's, it catching the blonde off guard, having not expecting it and especially not her first name, she can't remember ever being addressed in work at any moment by her first name that often at all from the brunette, apart from the odd time, yet here she chose this moment to use it.  
"Oh erm...evening S..Serena" Bernie mumbled as she sat down and picked up her wine glass, quickly taking a sip to moisture the dryness that had invaded her mouth, suddenly feeling nervous in the setting of the bar, something she'd never done before, the presence of a certain person causing her fiddle with her fingers of her free hand that had found its way into her lap, not wanting it to be that obvious in front of the rest of her friends and especially not to the eagle eyes of Serena.  
The team drifting into gentle and happy conversation, Bernie happy to listen and then offer her contribution every now and then, quite happy to sit and enjoy her drink, after a while offering to go and get another round for everyone, them all more than happy and eager for her to do so, especially Fletch, typical Fletch. With her back slightly turned away from the table she ordered the drinks and then was carefully carrying them back over on the tray they'd been put on, her eyes glancing up to catch Serena looking at her as she approached the table, her brows furrowing a little as the brunette quickly looked away.  
"Here we go" placing the tray in the middle of the table.  
"Oh cheers boss" smiled Fletch as he quickly took his pint, his smile widening more as he took his first sip, always one to enjoy a few beers at Albie's after a long and busy day at Holby, especially when the work didn't really stop for him when he got home due to him looking after his children, he loved them all dearly that wasn't question, but it didn't stop him enjoying his own time with his colleagues and friends, a slight respite before he went home and relieved the help who'd been looking after them all for him.  
"You're welcome Fletch" Bernie smiled, picking up the tray as they all got their different drinks and turned back to take it back to the bar, then crossing to the other side and heading into the toilet whilst she was on her feet and the fact she'd realised she'd not been for quite a few hours in work and since she'd finished.  
Flushing the chain, she opened the door to see Morven on the other side of the door washing her own hands, giving her a smile.

 

"I didn't hear you come in" Bernie smiled, seeing the younger woman smile back at her.  
"I don't make a habit of following my boss into the toilet and making myself known" she joked, causing them both to chuckle.  
"That's good to hear" Bernie chuckled again, washing her hands.  
"I just wanted to get you on your own, away from the group to have a word or should I say away from listening ears" this causing Bernie to frown in confusion, not following what she meant.  
"Erm...ok, a word about what, is everything ok?" thinking it might be something that was wrong at work.  
"Oh yeah everything is fine, nothing bad like that, it's just an observation I've made whilst we've been sat together tonight that's all" this deepening Bernie's frown even more, not aware what she was talking about.  
"I'm not following at all what you mean, you mean in here tonight, in the bar?" seeing Morven nod in confirmation.  
"Yeah, I've seen Ms Campbell look at you a few times, quite a few actually, I think she thought she'd done them when no one was watching but I've seen her a few times, not that she's aware of this at all, the opposite I'd say".  
"Ok, so she looked at me....it's just normal if you're looking around in a bar with your colleagues, especially new colleagues, like us to Ms Campbell".  
"Bernie, maybe I'm wrong in the way she seemed to be looking at you, but maybe I'm not, I've not seen her look at the rest of us at that table, and definitely not me, but she has with you" seeing a slight shift in the deputy CEO's expression.  
"Well she can stop looking at me and doing whatever it is she's doing I don't have time for it and it's inappropriate, regardless if it's out of work or in work, I've no time for it, I'm far too busy to get involved in any games or schemes, especially of hers" pulling a couple of paper towels from the holder to dry her hands, shaking her head as she put them in the bin, turning back to the younger woman.  
"Look I don't know what exactly her looking at you is all about or anything like that, but she'd definitely been looking and I just thought I'd let you know so you were aware of it if you weren't before" Morven explained, seeing Bernie's expression soften towards her as she explained why she'd come in here and told her.  
"Yes I know you were and I appreciate you telling me, thank you" giving the young doctor a little smile, seeing her smile back and then turn and leave the toilets, Bernie following behind not long after, giving herself another minute to take a breath and then rejoin the rest of the AAU team, retaking her chair next to Morven, picking up her wine glass and taking a sip, glancing out of the corner of her eye to see the brunette having already turned her head and eyes to speak to one of the other nurses, turned from having looked in Bernie's direction, this the blonde knew from the direction her head went in when she looked over at Serena, this being the opposite way to where Bernie was sat.

 

Just what is this?  
What exactly is going on here?  
Now I've got Morven coming into the toilets telling me she's seen Serena looking at me.  
I want to know why.  
Why is she looking at me?  
And especially in public.  
What is she up to?  
What is her game?  
Her hidden agenda.


	6. Chapter 6

Running around was just another crazy and busy day on the AAU ward of Holby, staff here, there and everywhere, doctors and patients coming in and out, as far as deputy CEO duties it was quite a light week for Bernie, giving her the opportunity to spend most of her time down on the ward doing her 'normal' doctor and trauma surgeon duties, these had been going rather well most of the day, as much as she enjoyed her CEO duties, she also enjoyed getting back to basics, donning the scrubs and being hands on with patients and staff alike, what she had done from the start of her career, the deputy post being something that was the cherry on top of her cake, something she'd never expected to be asked to do, but not even thinking about passing up the opportunity when it came along, even more of a chance to make changes in the hospital, improve things for staff and patients, make Holby even better than it was now and the fact she got a chance to really have a say in this made her feel even more that it was part of her duty as a doctor, wanting best for everyone, they all worked so hard and deserve the rewards that came with the time, effort and skill they all showed and used.  
Dealing with a patient and then handing another one over to one of the other doctors seen as she had some tests to sort out, wanting to take them herself because they were important and she'd heard that they might be a bit short staffed up there, she felt better that she had seen they'd gotten there by her own hands, especially on days like this, better safe than sorry. 

 

"I'm just popping up to take this samples to the lab Ms Campbell, I won't be long" she said passing by the brunette as she filled in some paperwork on a clipboard by a patients bed.  
"Very well Ms Wolfe" was the brunette's reply, not even looking up as she spoke, Bernie letting it slide as she crossed the ward, giving Fletch and Morven a 'don't say anything' look as she passed by the nurses' station, not wanting anymore arguing or tension to add to what they'd already had over the past weeks and months between them, if anything she wanted less not more so if that meant that she let things like that slide then so be it, anything for a bloody quiet or as quiet as was possible work life.  
With the tests in their bag and the front filled out she left the ward and headed past the lift to the staircase, smiling and greeting a couple of doctors and nurses as she passed them in the corridor and then as she took the stairs, the peace of the corridors with just a few staff mooching and walking around them, plus a few patients a nice bit of peace and quiet to recharge a little bit before she headed back to the busyness of the ward, a situation on the ward brewing that she wasn't aware of as she headed for the lab.  
Smiling at a nurse exiting the doors as she reached AAU, Bernie smiled and greeted her, this smile quickly evaporating on hearing someone shouting as she entered the ward, her eyes and ears searching for the source of the sudden noise, scanning the ward before she was drawn to look towards the nurse station and Fletch coming towards her raising his eyebrows, this causing Bernie to frown in confusion.

 

"Fletch what exactly is happening in here; what's the shouting all about?" Bernie asked, confused at the change in atmosphere from when she'd left, the shouting having since stopped but being proceeded by a bang of what Bernie thought sounded like a door.  
"Well boss, there's been a shall we say 'incident'" he replied, raising his eyebrows still this deepening the blonde's frown.  
"Incident...what kind of incident, what are you talking about?".  
"It's a Ms Campbell sort of incident, there were some tests on one of the low risk patients she was treating before and she'd filled the paperwork in for them but accidently missed ticking off one of the tests, so when they came back and she'd seen what had happened, well...it all kicked off from there, I mean it's a simple mistake and due to the patient not being a high risk I said to her it was no big deal and that I'd sort it out, she could give it to me to do it's not a problem, but then she started getting a bit flustered and then upset, saying she should know better and that, that I shouldn't have to do it, next thing she's stormed off to your office and slammed the door" causing Bernie to glance to her left hand side, sure enough the door was shut, that explaining the slamming door she'd heard moments ago.  
"Right I see, well thank you for this, I'll leave the tests and results in your hands and go and see what's happening here, thanks Fletch" moving from where she stood over to the office, the blinds having been shut on every window which they weren't when she'd left the ward, along with the closed door, being able to hear noises on the other side, noises that sounded if she didn't know better like muffled crying noises.

 

Giving a soft tap on the door to alert Serena to her presence she slowly pushed the handle down and moved inside, closing it behind her, her sudden presence causing the brunette to jump in her seat having not expected to see the blonde, trying to quickly dry her eyes but not being able to do it quick enough against the tears that were falling down her cheeks since she'd started crying.  
"Serena?" Bernie started softly, slowly taking a seat on the chairs in front of the window, her hands in her lap.  
"Don't...you don't have to say anything, I know I messed up, it was my mistake no one else's, I've asked for them to be re done and I've ticked the right boxes this time, I've not done the same mistake twice I doubled checked, triple checked even.." sniffing through the tears she was still wiping away from her cheeks, said tears having caused her mascara to run a little at the corners of her eyes, almost as if she was trying to wipe away her embarrassment at the same time as her tears.  
"I was going to say that it's ok, it was a simple mistake, anyone could've made it, we all make mistakes in our work, with how busy we get and...".  
"But it's not right, I should know better and I should've checked, I mean I thought I'd checked but then when it came back and I'd seen I'd missed ticking off one I was all ready to re do the tests, to get it right and do it again, but then nurse Fletcher came over to say that he'd do it, that he'd help but he shouldn't have to, I should get things right first time, not make mistakes like this and.." her words coming out like bullets of a mini gun in full rhythm, her own distress at making a small mistake and feeling like she'd made an horrendous one starting to show, her perfectionism coming off her in waves, still having tears coming down her cheeks as she spoke.

 

"Serena" Bernie started softly as she looked at the brunette in front of her, not liking seeing her so upset and distressed over something so small, an easy mistake she herself and everyone else in AAU had made a few times over their careers, human error that anyone could make and did, thinking of what she could say to try and help calm and make her feel better, looking at the crying woman in front of her, Serena now covering her face with her hands. Slowly the blonde reached her right hand out from her lap, gently placing it on the upper arm of the brunette, soothingly and lightly rubbing her thumb over the material of the other woman's blouse, her thumb grazing Serena's shoulder every now and again as she did, at first the brunette jumped in surprise at the contact but didn't move away, didn't ask Bernie to stop so the blonde continued, the understanding and simple touch gradually helping Serena calm enough that she lifted her face from her hands, revealing her tear stained face to Bernie, Bernie giving her a sympathetic smile, as her hand remained on her arm.  
"Ok?" the trauma surgeon asked quietly, her eyes with those of the vascular surgeon, the brunette giving a little nod of her head in answer. "Good, maybe give yourself a little break, cut yourself a little bit of slack, it was a simple mistake and it's all sorted now, I've done it enough times over the years, everyone has, hell if we sacked an F1, doctor or nurse every time they'd done the same thing I think there'd only be you and I running AAU" this little joke not being lost on Serena who gave a little laugh, the response making Bernie smile, taking her hand from the brunette's arm and standing up turning to head back out into the ward now she was satisfied Serena was not as upset anymore.

 

"Bernie?" the sound of her name making her pause at the door before she'd pushed the handle down and half turn around.  
"Yeah?" she asked.  
"Thank you for....this".  
"You're welcome" the blonde smiled giving her own nod back to the brunette before exiting the office, gently closing the door behind her, leaving a softly smiling and calmer Serena behind in the office.


	7. Chapter 7

With the afternoon of the shift drawing to a close, Bernie sat in her office having not long come back from a meeting, glancing at the clock knowing she was leaving soon and heading for a well earned drink at one of the new bars in town, Fletch and the rest of them having said about them all trying it together and today they had the opportunity to do so seen as it was still only the afternoon and it hadn't been a manic day on the ward, giving them all the chance to actually get out on time, providing no last minute emergencies gate crashed their plans which had happened before.  
"...and oh just to let you know boss Serena isn't coming" Fletch mumbled down the phone, his tone one of a rather eager man wanting to finish the shift and get changed before making his way for a well earned drink.  
"Why isn't she coming?" Bernie frowned to herself.  
"Dunno, she just declined and said no thank you, I've mentioned it a couple of times and Morven 'as too, says she's ok and maybe some other time, but it doesn't sound like she would say yes to any other times if you ask me, we've tried but she's still not bothered, she's just headed into the office and shut the door now and it's nearly the end of her and our shifts, the others are heading in now, so god knows, we have tried" he explained, and they had tried, more than once during the day to get the brunette to join them but she just said no, didn't seem fussed about it if they were honest, even Morven couldn't get her to change her mind and she'd also tried more than once, said that she might enjoy a little few hours to let her hair down with the team outside of work after a long shift, something to take her away from the stresses and strains of life inside Holby because bloody hell yes it could get stressful, but it still seemed nothing could get Ms Campbell to change her mind, nothing at all.

 

"Ok well just leave it to me, I'll meet you all there, I've just got a few bits to finish off here but it won't take me long at all and that gives you a bit more scope to get me a drink in first doesn't it eh?" she smiled down the phone, hearing Fletch laugh at what she'd said.  
"It's a good job I like you boss and that we all get on well, plus the fact I know that you'll be getting the second round in after me isn't it?" he replied cheekily back causing Bernie to chuckle at his answer.  
"I always treat my staff well you know this, always get my round in, I'll see you soon" hanging up the phone and glancing to the clock on the wall seeing it was almost the end of the shift, getting up off her chair, grabbing her suit coat and handbag, carrying both things out of the office, locking her door and then heading for the lift.  
AAU had had its shift change, the other staff all quietly going about their business and looking after the patients, a few who were nearby greeting Bernie and she them as she walked into the ward and to the office, all the blinds but a few were closed and she could make out the tapping of keys on a keyboard as she pushed the door open, Serena looking up from what she was doing, giving a little smile in greeting to the blonde.

 

"Hey" Bernie started, smiling back, the brunette ceasing her typing when Bernie spoke.  
"Hi" Serena replied.  
"Are you coming out with us for a drink or two at this new place the boys have been talking about?" seeing the brunette shake her head, the same response she'd given the couple of people who'd asked her previously.  
"Oh no I don't think so, I've got this to do and I don't think I'm really in the mood, thank you though" the blonde moving into the office and shutting the door, her jacket and bag on the top of her own desk, perching on the edge where the two desks joined, looking at the other woman.  
"It's meant to be a nice place, nothing too rowdy or noisy, it's still the afternoon and we're all actually leaving on time for a change which in itself is a luxury at certain parts of the year, plus I think you'd like it there, you don't have to stay long if you don't want to, just a couple of drinks that's all, also I'd like you to come and join us all" the last part catching Serena off guard a little, it being the last thing she'd expected for the deputy CEO to be saying to her in their office in Holby.  
"Y..You would?".  
"Of course, we're all a team here and you're an important part of that team as well as joint lead with me. What do you say, come and join us, I'm just heading there now?" she asked again, still perched on the desk awaiting Serena's answer.

 

Well I didn't expect to see her in the office asking me to join them.  
I assumed they'd all go together since I'd declined the offers from a few of them during the day.  
But she's here now asking me to join them.  
That she wants me to join them all.  
That I'm an important part of the team.  
That she values me.  
Wants me to join them at the bar.  
I've never had anyone come and ask me this kind of thing off their own back before.  
Especially not a woman.  
A woman like her.  
Ever.

 

"Ok, ok I'll come" she nodded seeing Bernie smile at her answer, giving her a little smile back.  
"Good, I was thinking of getting a taxi there and leaving all cars here, they can always be picked up tomorrow at some point during the day?" Serena nodded in response, the both of them deciding to share a taxi together and pick their cars up tomorrow at some point since they were off the following day, another reason Bernie thought it was a good chance for them to let their hair down at the bar.  
Arriving at the quaint, but quirky bar, light and fresh decor, which gave way to some subtle lighting that was not too much but just enough to illuminate the slightly darker parts of the bar, comfy couches and chairs surrounding the various tables on the ground floor, a bar wrapping along one side and a spiral staircase leading to the over spill and extra floor upstairs, soft music over the various speakers around the place, both women quickly found the rest of the team spread over a couple of tables, Fletch and the others greeting them both as they arrived, a drink ready for them both, Bernie having text him to ask him to get one in for Serena too, as well as saving two chairs so Serena would have a place to sit and she wouldn't feel like a spare part in the group.

 

"Cheers Fletch" Bernie grinned softly, holding up her wine glass to him, seeing him tip his pint glass and smile widely back at her.  
"Yes, thank...thank you Fletch" Serena chipped in softly, this remark grabbing his attention and he motioned with his glass to her, smiling.  
"You're welcome Serena, I'm glad that you came to join us" catching the brunette by surprise and causing her cheeks to tint a red hue at the words, dipping her head shyly as she sipped from the glass, grateful that he didn't say anything of her reaction even though she knew he'd seen it.  
"Yeah it's nice to have you join us" Morven gave into the conversation, smiling at the brunette before she carried on the conversation she was having.  
A little while later their group conversation was in full swing, all contributing to it, Serena still being a bit quiet and shy in terms of adding to what they were talking about, sipping from another glass of shiraz.  
"...what do you think Serena?" was asked in the middle of the discussion they were having, the brunette's brown eyes looking up over the rim of her glass and over in the direction of the person the question had come from.

 

Bernie.  
The blonde had asked the question.  
Asked for her input.  
Her opinion.  
Asking her into the discussion.  
Getting her involved.

 

"Oh erm...well...I think it's a good idea, and it'd make things easier and run that bit smoother, might be more time efficient too" her eyes glancing at the people around her, watching them nod in agreement with what she said and smile at her, replies of 'yeah I agree' or 'I like that idea, I think it'll bring more time for us too', 'nice thinking Serena', all of these causing the brunette to give a little wider smile, looking beside her at Bernie and briefly catching the blonde's hazel eyes, but then shyly looking away as she realised Bernie had seen her looking, pausing for a few moments before she glanced back to her side at Bernie, the blonde with her eyes already fully looking at Serena and smiling, leaning over and clinking their wine glasses together, the gaze, smile and gesture widening Serena's smile as she sipped more of her wine, relaxing back more into her chair, affording herself another half glance out of the corner of her eye at the talkative blonde next to her.

 

Well this afternoon had not been the car crash and disaster I'd imagined.  
It'd been the opposite in fact.  
Quite the opposite.  
It's going nicely with them all.  
It's nice.  
And I got a smile from her.  
She looked at me.  
Looked me square in the face and clinked our glasses.  
Now there's a couple of things I didn't expect.  
I'd never expect.  
Especially not from her.  
Not from her to me.  
Never would I have expected them.  
They were indeed both a pleasant surprise.  
Very much so.


	8. Chapter 8

It was always a welcome sight to see your own office after what had turned into rather a long day of meetings with the board, some were ok given the subjects, but some even Henrik admitted did get boring, he wasn't really a figures sort of man and would rather be doing something else that he considered functional and productive, leaving the numbers to the financial people and the accountants, the ones who for some reason enjoyed working with numbers, give him and Bernie the exact numbers and money amounts they could work with and spend and the rest they could do without, leave that to the people who worked in that field.  
"Oh Bernie before you go can I have a quick word please?" opening the door for the blonde, who by now was ready to just get this word in and then head back to her own office, maybe check in on the AAU and then home.  
Taking to perching on the back of one of the two chairs in front of Henrik's desk, looking towards him as he made his way to stand near her, looking down at her from his slightly taller position.  
"There's a problem" this random statement causing Bernie to frown.  
"A problem with what?".  
"With the up and coming regional dinner function we were due to attend this Saturday night, the powers that be have informed me that I'm needed at a conference on that day and therefore I won't be able to attend the dinner, I'm afraid you'll need to ask another senior member of staff if they'll take my place" seeing the blonde's eyes narrow in irritation at the short notice of such a thing.  
"At such short notice as this, it's Thursday night now Henrik" her tone conveying her annoyance, not meaning for it to be him who got it, knowing the powers above him were the ones responsible creating this mess and leaving things in the lurch.  
"I know, I know, I'm sorry Bernie, if I could avoid having to go to where they were sending me believe me I would, I'm not keen on going on a Saturday either, the function I was originally going with you would be much better".  
Bernie sighed and shook her head.  
"Sometimes I bloody wonder if these lot just enjoy messing around and changing things last minute, fucking idiots" she grumbled, glancing to Henrik again. "Ok, well it looks like now I've gotta find someone else to accompany me, this should be fun, looks like I better get a move on before I can then actually go home, see you tomorrow Henrik" offering him a tight smile and heading out of his office, passing her own where she was hoping to already be, to the lift and past this too, opting for the stairs, not in the mood at the moment to wait for anything.

 

Swiping her card she pushed through the doors into a calm and steadily working AAU Bernie tightly smiled at a nurse she passed, heading straight for the office after glancing around the ward and not seeing Serena, surmising she must be in the office doing some work, since working with her it seemed the brunette concentrated better in terms of paperwork in the quiet the office allowed, not with the beeping and bustle of machines and people in the hub of the ward itself.  
Letting herself in, Serena looked up at the blonde from her writing and gave her a smile.  
"Hello" frowning softly on seeing and sensing tension from the deputy CEO. "Everything ok?" she asked as Bernie sat down at her own desk.  
"I wouldn't exactly say that, I've had better days than today" she mumbled back, closing her eyes and resting her head back on the chair, letting out a sigh, Serena watching her as she did.  
"Is there anything I can do to make it less bad?" Serena said, wondering if it was something to do with the ward that had been said in the course of the day and meetings the blonde had been to, that way Serena might be able to help make things a bit better, it seemed she didn't like seeing Bernie fed up or not happy, it wasn't a regular occurrence that Serena was bothered about these types of matters with her colleagues, usually she mumbled something about them having to toughen up and have a stiff upper lip and get on with it, but it seemed with the other woman she didn't take this approach, she'd automatically taken a different one, one where she found herself sat here now asking if she could make things easier, try to make them better.

 

"Well, the bloody powers that be above Henrik and I have at the last minute messed up and changed plans for a function that had been decided months ago and now they've decided to send him somewhere else and leave me to sort it out in what...48 hours because that's apparently enough time" her eyes now open and looking across at the brunette. "But it's got to be another senior member of staff, it's imperative that it's definitely a senior member, it's vital apparently" seeing Serena listening intently as she spoke.  
"They do like doing things like this, as long as they don't have to sort the mess out then they think it's easy and not that big of a problem, always easier when it's not them doing the sorting out, the joy of passing things and problems down the ladder. In regards to a senior member of staff, well I'm sure you've a few people you could ask to go and they'd willing take your offer, especially because it's you and you need their help" smiling kindly at Bernie, understanding the blonde's annoyance at being messed about by people in positions of power above her, sympathising with her.  
Bernie gave her a small smile back sensing Serena understood how annoyed and frustrated she was, given the brunette's position at St James's and knowing she'd probably encountered the same crap herself.  
"What about you?" Bernie randomly said into the space between them.  
Serena frowned at the random question.  
"Excuse me?".  
"Would you like to come with me?" suddenly finding herself asking the other woman.  
"Me? Come with you?" still not sure she was fully following.  
"Yes you, would you like to come with me to this function, you're a senior member of staff and my co lead in AAU..." she trailed off, seeing Serena's surprised expression at the offer. "It's ok forget I asked, it's really short notice and a bad idea, why would you want to go to such a thing, it's ok I'll figure it out, don't worry" shaking her head at even asking the question to the other woman.

 

Why the hell did I even do that?  
Like she'd be interested.  
Why would she be bothered, it's not her problem.  
"I'll...I'll come with you" came the soft voice through Bernie's swirling haze of thoughts and plans running through her mind, her eyes retraining on the other woman.  
"Huh?" furrowing her brow softly.  
"To the function, I'll come with you, as your senior member of staff" seeing the frown soften on Bernie's forehead.  
"You will?" she asked just to make sure.  
Serena nodded.  
"Are you sure?".  
"Well you need a senior member of staff and I'm a senior member and it's important to your job and you, and you need someone to come with you, so yes, I'll be that person".  
"O..Ok then, that's sorted then, you'll be my senior member of staff to come with me, thank you".  
Serena gave a little smile and a nod.   
"You're welcome" Bernie smiling back at her.  
"Well seen as you seem to have everything running like clockwork here and it's nearly the end of your shift, it looks like it's home time for me at long last, it's been a long day" pushing herself to her feet off her chair, this feeling like a big effort after all the meetings and concentration she'd used up being stuck in four walls for most of the day.

 

"It seems you could do with going home you've had quite a day, everything is under control here and I'll be off soon, go on get yourself home it's all fine".  
"Only if you're sure?".  
"I'm sure, now go on go, go home" Bernie gave a little chuckle at the brunette's insistent reply, she'd not heard that from Serena delivered in a caring way before, especially not to her, the brunette smiling at Bernie's chuckle at her words.  
"Ok, ok I'm going, I'm going, we can get a taxi to the venue seen as there will be drinks of whatever kind there, I'll text you a time" she said, moving through the door as she spoke.  
"Yes that's fine" watching the blonde nod one last time and then leave, closing the door behind her, Serena shaking her head to herself and smiling as she sat and continued with her paperwork.


	9. Chapter 9

Hearing the knock on the door and glancing to the clock on the wall of the kitchen, Serena downed the remainder of the wine in her glass and headed out of the room, down the hallway and to the front door, checking herself in the nearby full length mirror on the wall to her right one last time before opening the door to reveal Bernie on the other side, Bernie dressed in a slim fit black suit, crisp white shirt and a skinny black tie on top, shiny brogues on her feet tucked under the bottom of her trousers, her hair the usual mass of blonde messy curls framing her face but this time they'd obviously been tamed for the occasion, the outfit causing the brunette to stare a few more moments longer than she'd have wanted to, taking in the blonde, not expecting to see the other woman in front of her in such a dapper outfit.  
"Evening, are you ready?" Bernie asked looking to and then over the brunette in front of her, hazel eyes wandering down the length of the black dress that came a couple of inches below Serena's knees, the cap sleeves over her shoulders, the v of the neck line showing off just the right amount of cleavage, kitten heeled strappy, pointed shoes on her feet, her brown hair styled softly around her face and into her neck, the short style allowing this, her jewellery and make up finishing her look off, and what a fetching look it was, a look Bernie had never imagined to see on her co lead of AAU, used to seeing her in her blouses and other general work wear in Holby, this a complete change in look for the other woman, a look Bernie had to prize her eyes away from and back up to the face of the brunette.  
"Yes, I'll just need to get my handbag and then I'm ready" Serena mumbled, turning and disappearing into the kitchen, returning a few moments later with the clutch in her hand, by now the blonde had taken to standing on the step, trying to get some fresh air into her lungs, to clear her head, this was a works function after all, professional at all times, especially when she was representing Holby as deputy CEO, nibbles and some free drinks, do some mingling and talking then back home and too bed, let's get this public service exercise done and then home, her mind flicking back to the first vision of Serena stood in her dress floating across her mind and thoughts, come on Wolfe, focus, why you thinking stupid things such as this, especially now.  
"Ready now" came the voice breaking her from her thoughts, turning her head to see Serena now stood next to her on the mat outside her front door, giving her a little smile, following Bernie to the taxi, both women getting in and heading off to the venue.  
The journey there was quite a quiet one, apart from comments from them both to the other about how they looked nice, both of them smiling to themselves as they received and took such compliments, not used to people saying such things to them, not work colleagues anyway, and Serena wasn't used to getting such compliments from other women, thinking to herself that Bernie must get such things said to her all the time, not just because she was deputy CEO, but because she was an attractive woman, the way she wore her suits at work, along with her shirts and then into her scrubs on AAU.

 

Stop it Campbell!  
Pull yourself together!  
You're here because it's a works function.  
A works function she asked you to as a colleague.  
A colleague from AAU.  
Because she needed someone senior to accompany her.  
And you're her co lead from AAU.  
Nothing more.  
Stop thinking of her this way.  
Why would she think this way of you?  
Why would any woman think this way of you?  
She's attractive.  
She's deputy CEO.  
She's Bernie Wolfe.  
Attractive Bernie Wolfe.  
Stop it Campbell.  
Just stop!

 

Making their way into the venue, picking up a glass of champagne each on arrival from the waiters at the door, the two of them made their way past the other people who had congregated at the main doors, and into the main hall, a DJ booth set up at the far side of the room, the nibbles and other food at the opposite side of the room set out on the long tables, the room being a rather large ball room type room, quite fitting for the grand house, well rather stately home that the organisers had chosen for the main venue, something that screamed money and lots of it, no expense spared.  
It wasn't long until the blonde was mingling, mingling with a host of different faces and people, some Serena had briefly heard about from her time at St James's and others that she'd no clue at all about, but Bernie did, her position as deputy CEO afforded her the knowledge and connections to know some of these high up and important people, the people the blonde seemed to easily mingle with, the brunette grabbing another glass of wine, she'd had a few since they'd arrived, quite a few that she'd lost count of how many she'd actually drank, add these to the couple, alright more than a couple she'd drank before she'd even step foot outside the door, ones she thought she needed due to feeling nervous.

 

Nervous.  
Yes nervous.  
Nervous about this.  
About going out to this function with the blonde.  
Being the one the blonde had asked to go with her.  
It wasn't like it was a date, far from it, but the summersaults her stomach did whilst getting ready it might well have been.  
Something about being beside Bernie and representing the hospital.  
The blonde's senior colleague.  
A totally, not even platonic plus one.  
A representative of the hospital.  
Alongside Bernie.  
It all amounted to nerves.  
Nerves she couldn't say she was used to.  
Not at all.  
Serena Campbell wasn't ever the nervous kind.  
She didn't get nervous.  
She was steady.  
Confident.  
Sure of herself.  
Knew herself.  
Knew what she needed to do.  
Got the job done.  
Did what was needed.  
Did her duty.

 

Well at least she thought she did, but tonight she'd had a what's the word....wobble, she'd taken to supping Shiraz before going out and having not eaten a lot because Bernie had told her there were nibbles, was quickly as she drank more free wine at the function becoming aware of feeling a little tipsy, the combination of not much food in her stomach in the form of some of the nibbles she'd eaten, teamed with the wine starting to effect her.  
They say some people are more honest when drinking or tipsy, they open up more and say and do things they wouldn't when sober, loose lipped and more open, not as many inhibitions, not as guarded, as careful in their words and actions, more free in a manner of speaking.  
Sitting on a chair in the corner of the room, her wine bottle on the table, Serena sipped more wine as she looked, looked across the room at who else but the woman she had come along with, Bernie.  
The way the blonde moved around between the groups of people with ease, talked to them with ease, mingled, seemed to have a knack for it, well she had been doing it since they set foot in the main room, people had been coming over to her as well as she going over to them, people smiling around the blonde, saying some things to make them laugh and they made her laugh too, the brunette narrowing her eyes when she saw Bernie laughing, a reaction she'd not realised she did until she felt a slight ache in her stomach and then realised what the pain was, surprising herself she was reacting this way, her stomach reacting to watching people around the blonde, wishing it was her standing by Bernie's side, the both of them laughing together, being able to experience being that close to the deputy CEO, these thoughts she tried to quell by draining another glass of wine, wrapping her fingers around the neck of bottle on the table and refilling said glass.

 

"You ok there?" a voice asked a little while later, stood beside her, causing Serena to look up, her eyes focusing after a few moments and Bernie came into focus, giving her a smile.  
"Y..Yes" she mumbled, tipsy, the blonde spotting the glaze in the dark brown eyes of the brunette.  
"Maybe home time?" Bernie offered, seeing Serena nod at her, Bernie offering her hand to help the brunette up from her seat. "Steady" she added, her other arm extending quickly to land on Serena's waist and steady her, their eyes meeting as she did, Serena wandering her eyes over the blonde's face.  
"You look really nice in your suit tonight, it suits you a lot" came the sudden and unexpected words from the brunette, she was still looking at Bernie as she spoke.  
"Oh..thank you for that, you look nice in your dress too" Bernie replied not long after, catching a hint of a blush on the cheeks of the other woman, making sure Serena was steady enough to head across and then out of the room and to the waiting taxi outside the venue.  
Pulling up outside the brunette's house after a quiet taxi journey home, the brunette went to dip into her handbag for her purse, Bernie's hand on hers stopping her as she saw what she was doing.  
"I've got this, it's ok".  
"Are you sure?" watching Bernie nod.  
"Definitely, I appreciate you coming with me" she smiled.  
"T..Thank you" Serena replied, turning to the door and getting out, a bit unsuccessfully as she swayed as soon as her body felt the rush of fresh, cool night air, Bernie quickly getting out of the other side and running around to the brunette.  
"Careful now" an arm going around Serena's lower back, a hand on her hip, steadying her immediately. "Let's get you inside safely" knowing the brunette had drunk a bit of wine on not much food, not wanting anything to happen to her.  
Slowly they made their way up the drive, past Serena's car and to the front door, after a bit of fumbling Serena handed Bernie her front door key she fished out of her handbag, Bernie opening the door and guiding the brunette up the step and into the house, putting her handbag on the stairs, releasing her arm from around her waist when she felt she was ok to stand in the hallway on her own.

 

"Goodnight then" Bernie smiled softly, as she stood at the space in the hallway near the front door, the brunette looking back at her.  
"Good..Goodnight" Serena replied, before she leant forward and touched her lips at first to Bernie's right cheek but then they moved left and ended up touching and staying on the corner of the blonde's lips, lingering on the skin here, her hands automatically reaching out to hold onto Bernie's hips, Bernie's hands mirroring Serena's hands on the brunette's hips, something making the deputy CEO close her eyes at the gentle touches, unable to help herself it seemed, finding herself liking the softness of the other woman's lips against her skin.  
After a few minutes they parted, hazel eyes with brown ones, just looking, looking at the other woman.  
"I'd better go, taxi is waiting outside" Bernie mumbled softly, seeing Serena nod silently.  
"L..Let me know you get home safely, please?" Serena asked, as their hands parted from the others hips.  
"I will do" she nodded, seeing Serena smile a little smile at her, returning the smile and turning to the door, closing it behind her, the brunette turning the key in the lock as she heard the taxi pull away from her house and head down the road, as she kicked her shoes off and came to be sat at the bottom of the stairs, her fingers slowly reaching to touch her own lips, closing her eyes at what had just happened.

 

Yes Serena that did just happen.  
And with Bernie Wolfe.  
Shit.


	10. Chapter 10

Stepping inside her apartment after paying the taxi driver and then getting out, Bernie locked the door and untied her shoes, slipping them off and leaving them to the side of the front door, sending Serena the text message that she'd gotten home safely like she'd promised to do and then headed straight through into the kitchen, this space being quite a big one, the feel of it being big added to by the fact the cupboards were all white with silver handles, the built in oven also white, the work top a solid, grey granite, the walls peeking through in between the top and bottom units also painted white, the colour giving a freshness to the whole room, a brightness, spotlights in the ceiling as well as being dotted at even spacing at the bottom of the top cupboards all the way around the kitchen. The blonde filled a pint glass that'd she gotten from the cupboard with water and then took a big gulp, undoing the top button on her shirt and loosening her tie as she did so with her free hand, placing the glass down for a minute as she leaned back against the work surface her brain going over the exchange and moment her and Serena had just had, still in this vein of thinking as she picked the glass back up and crossed the kitchen and then the living room on the first floor of her executive apartment, sliding the balcony door open and stepping out into the early morning air, the river that circled the city right in front of her and a view of one side of the city, the different array of coloured lights from the lit up buildings in front of her, a peaceful air surrounding her given it was the early hours, the only noise being the flow of the river below her and the occasional vehicle that went past every so often, so nice, so peaceful, so apt for thinking, for relaxing.  
Leaning on the railing that surrounded the lower floor balcony she surveyed the view in front of her for a few more minutes before crossing to one of the brown weave Rattan chairs nearby, pulling it away from being tucked under the matching table and sinking into the plush grey cushions that sat against the back and bottom of the seat, her glass on the table, moving said chair sideways to look over the view, taking a deep breath in as she did, her mind still on the nights events and there had been a few.

 

Serena staring at her a little longer than expected when she'd opened the door.  
Her own stare at the other woman when she'd first seen her in her dress.  
And then steadying the brunette, her hand on her waist.  
Serena's comment about her looking nice.  
Something she'd never had at a works function she'd attended from another woman before, the odd comment from other people mainly the people from other hospitals who regularly attended these functions, mainly the 'pen pushers' who worked in these veins in the hospitals from this part of the country.  
But this time it'd been different, Serena had just come out and said it, suddenly and out of nowhere, looking at Bernie the whole time she'd said it, making Bernie feel that she was being sincere and meant what she said, and then the dare she say it the kiss, a goodnight kiss that moved from starting on the blonde's cheek and finished and lingered on the edge of her lips, that sensitive patch of skin on her face that the brunette rested her own lips on, she did it tenderly, in a way Bernie hadn't expected, she'd never had expected to being kissed at the end of the night, not at all, given it was a works function and Serena had joined her as a work colleague, a senior work colleague, but then she'd commented how nice she'd looked and then give her a tender goodnight kiss.

 

Serena Campbell.  
Her senior co lead of AAU.  
The woman who had a fierce and strong reputation.  
The woman some were intimidated by.  
This same woman had tenderly kissed her.  
Nothing rough or harsh.  
But tender.  
The most tender kiss but not a kiss on the lips Bernie could say she'd ever experienced.  
Especially with the added gentle touch of Serena's hands on her hips.  
It was as if Serena was lightly holding her.  
Serena Campbell.  
The Serena Campbell.  
Holding and kissing her.  
Bernie Wolfe.  
Fucking hell what is this?  
What the hell is going on here?  
I should've felt like I didn't want her near me.  
And sure as hell not kissing me.  
Not after what she'd previously behaved like.  
But this.  
This time it felt different.  
She gave off a different vibe.  
Was behaving differently.  
Behaving softer.  
Being genuine.  
Showing her true self, the wine helping this too.  
Yes she was a bit tipsy but she wasn't drunk.  
Not drunk to the point of not knowing what she was doing.  
She knew what she was doing.  
What she was saying.  
And who she was saying and doing it to.  
She wanted to say and do these things.  
I saw a glimpse of the 'real' Serena.  
And I liked it.  
Fucking hell.  
Never thought I'd be saying that.

 

With these thoughts running fresh through her mind still she loosened her tie that bit more and opened another shirt button, feeling a bit warmer despite sitting outside, shaking her head at herself and what she found herself doing.  
"Fucking hell Wolfe what is happening here, happening with Serena Campbell of all people, the woman whose attitude and single mindedness you couldn't stand at first, who irritated you at every turn, but now it's changing a little, there's a slight shift happening, first comforting her when she's been upset, inviting her out for drinks with the team after work and then to the function and now being kissed by her after said function and being quite surprised at liking the tenderness of her lips against your skin, bloody hell!" she mumbled to herself running a hand through her blonde curls, this hand automatically touching the spot that Serena's lips had lingered, letting out a breath as she did so, a puzzled mind airing her current thoughts.

 

What the hell is this?  
Do I like her?  
Well yes I like her because she's my AAU co lead.  
I think she's quite ok as a person.  
But then the kissing.  
Her kissing me.  
Complimenting me.  
Accompanying me to the function.  
She was tipsy.  
Why?  
Nerves?  
She was a little quiet during said function.  
And she'd had a drink before we left.  
A drink to calm her nerves?  
That would make sense.  
Plus I've done similar before.  
Tried to give myself some dutch courage.  
Serena Campbell.  
Needing dutch courage.  
Not needing it with her work but needing it then.  
Needing it at such a function.  
A function with me.  
Interesting.

 

Taking another large gulp of her water, Bernie got up from the her chair and moved inside, closing and locking the balcony doors, making sure everything else was locked and then carrying the glass up to the second floor of her apartment, the master bedroom being one of cream, plain walls, a queen size bed being the main feature in the room against the main wall, a large grey headboard and base, a striped white and grey duvet cover and matching pillow cases on the bed, two small bedside either side with a lamp on both of them, two spotlights into this wall also above the headboard. There were two windows also in the room to the left as you looked at the bed, both rather large windows, four white, wooden shutter blinds on each of windows, two on the bottom, two on the top upper windows, this helping keep the light out and make the room even darker when needed. A large, flat screen TV was bracketed on the wall in front of the bed, a plush pile beige carpet under foot, the whole room being fresh and light.  
An en suite was next to the master bedroom, all beige and white furnishing, apart from the large granite coloured tiles in the large shower cubicle, this space also having all chrome buttons and showerhead and then on the opposite side of the same floor was a decent sized dressing room with the wardrobes around the outside, an island in the middle, a small utility room next to this on the side furthest away from the bedroom, all very spacious and appropriate to reach and use, the whole upper floor signifying Bernie taste in fresh and light decor, subtle but effective, not weighing the luxury apartment down with dark and dim colours, the lights and sounds from living near the river and the city helping the charm and calm of the place.  
Having changed out of her suit and evening wear and into a pair of sleeping shorts and a vest, Bernie climbed into bed, the room now in total darkness, her phone plugged in and charging on the table to her left, closing her eyes she settled back against the pillows, feeling herself start to drift, the message chime on her phone causing her to open her eyes, reach out to take hold of said phone, squinting in the dark at the glare from the screen, opening a just received message from who of all people but Serena.  
**_I'm glad that you got home safe, thank you for a lovely night, I did enjoy it. Sleep well xx_**  
If she'd read it once, she'd read it three times, her eyes lingering on the kisses at the end, something she wasn't used to seeing on text messages she got sent, most of these being from work colleagues and even some of these, especially the guys didn't put kisses on their messages, but she had, Serena had, and not just one, but two.  
Reading the message one last time, Bernie placed her phone back on her bed side table and then settled down back into bed, closing her eyes.

 

Just what in the hell is happening here?  
This kind of thing is totally unexpected.  
It's not right.  
Is it?  
Is it right?  
Does it feel right?  
Feel right that this, whatever it is, is happening with her?  
Whatever this is going to be called.  
Just what is all this?  
All this between us?


	11. Chapter 11

Quiet.  
Quiet and somewhat shy.  
Just quietly getting on with her paperwork.  
Nipping out when needed to tend to the patients.  
Then back into the office.  
Back to her desk and back to her paperwork.  
This had been the order of the day for most of this shift.  
If Bernie didn't know better she'd say that Serena was being a bit shy.  
Hiding a little.  
Hiding in the office.  
Hiding from her?  
Or at least keeping a distance.  
Yeah that's right.  
Shy.  
Shy Serena Campbell.

 

Glancing up from her file she'd just finished signing at the nurses' station, Bernie's eyes looked through the blinds and into the office, a couple of the sets having been left open so she could see into the room and to the brunette sat at her desk, totally unaware that she was being watched, her brown eyes down at the piece of paperwork she was currently working on at that time.  
Standing in this spot for a few more seconds, she then crossed from where she was, over to the office, pushing the handle down and moving into the room, this causing Serena to look up at the sound, ceasing her writing when she saw it was Bernie, her eyes flicking to the door closing behind the blonde and then actually back to the other woman in the room with her.  
"Everything ok?" Bernie said into the silence of the office, her hazel eyes with dark brown ones of the brunette.  
"Yeah fine, why wouldn't it be" Serena replied quickly, her writing starting up again after her words, eyes down on the paper, swallowing a slight dryness in her throat, a small gesture not lost to Bernie's eyes.  
"Well..." taking a minute to sit on the part of the desks where they joined, her eyes watching the top of the brunette's head as she continued to look or pretend to look over whatever papers she had in front of her. "You've been rather quiet today, and then as soon as you've finished dealing with patients out there you've been quick to come back in here and shut the door".  
"I've been busy with this" pointing to the papers under her face, but not looking up at the blonde, no eye contact.  
"You've less paperwork than me and I've got hardly any" Bernie mumbled back softly, seeing Serena sigh but still not lift her head. "So I'd say that might hint maybe at something being amiss, a problem?".  
Again Serena sighed, but still didn't look up, her writing ceasing again as she gave yet another sigh, toying with her pen, anxiously Bernie thought.  
"Is this about Saturday?" she offered, seeing Serena's eyes appear as she looked up at her and gave a little swallow, the look on her face telling Bernie everything she needed to know.

 

Yes this was about Saturday.  
It was definitely about then.  
She's been hiding because of that.  
Because of what happened.  
What happened between us.  
She feels shy.  
Uneasy.  
Unsure.  
Apprehensive.  
Apprehensive about if it was 'ok' or not.  
About what I might say.  
How I might react.

 

"Have I said anything about that, anything that might make you think it was a big issue between us?" Bernie challenged, raising her eyebrows lightly at the brunette, her eyes not moving from Serena.  
After a few minutes Serena answered.  
"No".  
"Exactly I haven't, because I feel we're both adults and that if ever there are any kinds of issues or problems then we can talk and sort them out between ourselves, not involving anyone else because it's not their business" she said, continuing. "But there's no issue, not on my side anyway, no problem for me".  
"There's not one on my side either" Serena replied, seeing Bernie nod her head at her answer, these two answers clearing the air between them, more on Serena's side than the blondes.  
"Well then, there we are that's sorted that out" Bernie said smiling, her eyes seeing the tension lift from the brunette's features, a softness return to her face, a little smile appearing as it did. "Would you care to join me for food after work, I've a few things to ask you about progress of the ward and things".  
"Me?".  
Bernie chuckled gently at Serena's immediate and surprised answer, obviously not expecting that request at all, it catching her completely off guard.  
"Yes you, I don't see anyone else in here that I'd be asking".  
The brunette gripped the pen she held in her hand, fiddling with it as she did.  
"Erm...well...yes...yes I would, please, thank you" nodding at the offer, seeing Bernie smile at her.  
"Wonderful that's sorted then. There's a little place just out of town, a little quiet bistro I thought we could go there, I can drive and drop you off later if you'd like?".  
"It sounds nice, thank you" Serena said, offering a smile to the blonde, it sounded like a nice idea.  
"I'll meet you at the main entrance at the end of our shifts, I'll have to change out of these scrubs?" getting up from where she'd been sat on the desks.  
"Ok" watching the blonde smile back at her and then head out of the office, closing the door.  
With all the work discussion out of the way and some plans and other meetings for colleagues and improvements put in place, the two women had ordered a selection of dishes to share, plus a bottle of wine to share after the glass each they'd both ordered when they'd first arrived, the conversation started to turn to general conversation and away from work, Bernie sensing a certain shyness from the brunette feeling like her taking charge of the start of the conversation might help in Serena loosening up a little and not be as quiet.

 

"....I couldn't look him in the eyes properly for a little while, not after seeing that view in the locker room" Bernie said chuckling, her smile widening that bit more on seeing Serena's face crease up as she laughed, showing her white teeth as she did, the first time Bernie had seen the other woman react like this, something she found herself liking, especially when she'd been the one making the brunette laugh, taking a sip of her wine as she saw Serena still laughing, hazel eyes looking over the rim of her glass.  
"Oh my god, ouch" Serena laughed, doubling over.  
"Are you ok?" chuckled the blonde, seeing the brunette lift her head and nod it.  
"My stomach hurts a bit that's all" she replied, straightening up and taking a sip from her glass to try and get her breath back.  
"That signifies belly laughing to me" Bernie smiled, her eyes wandering over the now lightly flushed cheeks of Serena, something she can't recalled she'd seen the few months she'd been around the brunette.  
"I think it does yes" Serena replied, a smile still on her face, something she can't recall doing very much of over the years if she was honest and definitely not around another woman.  
"You suit smiling, you should do it more" was the comment from the blonde knowing her comment could be taken either way by the woman she'd directed it at, hoping it'd be taken in the right way and that the brunette would understand it this way.  
"You think?" the unexpected response for them both, Serena suddenly realising what she'd just said after she'd said it, unable then to retract it, her eyes over the rim of her own glass over to Bernie, having stopped herself from taking another sip of wine after she realised what she'd said.  
After a few moments Bernie's lips curved into a smile and she gave a little nod in affirmation.  
"I do yes, you've a nice smile, you smile with your eyes" smiling herself still as she said it, lightly raising her eyebrows, a signal to Serena to accept the compliment.

 

Me?  
I have a nice smile?  
Bernie is saying this to me.  
A woman like her.  
An attractive woman.  
How can she say this to me?  
Why would she?  
She can't mean it?  
Can she?  
But I'm not.  
I'm not attractive, not like she is.  
She's an attractive deputy CEO.  
Someone a lot of women and men find attractive.  
Not just for her looks but her as a person.  
But me.  
I'm not like her.  
I'm different.  
In a bad way.

 

Bernie frowned as she saw Serena's eyes glaze over a little bit, as if she was day dreaming, thinking, her expression becoming one that Bernie thought looked sad, frightened.  
Suddenly the brunette was off her feet, grabbing her bag and coat and heading away from table and for the doors as she passed the table the blonde was still sat at.


	12. Chapter 12

"Serena? Serena wait?!" Bernie called after the brunette, following her out of the bistro and into the quiet street, watching the other woman disappear down the side street, catching up to her and stopping her with a hand on her shoulder, only seeing the back of the brunette still.  
Standing there she kept stood facing away from the blonde, feeling hazel eyes staring straight at the back of her head, suddenly seeing these eyes themselves appear in front of her, Bernie had moved around to face her.  
"Serena?" she asked again, a puzzled expression over her face, wondering what had caused this change in behaviour.  
"What?" she replied, clearing her throat as well as trying to swallow at the lump in it.  
Bernie raised her eyebrows at the response.  
"What's the matter, why did you leave?".  
"Because...because I did.." nearly choking herself as she responded, feeling the dryness in her mouth and throat.  
"That's not an answer, why did you leave?" she repeated again, not convinced by Serena's response.  
Eyes locked together, Bernie waiting for an answer to her question, not aware of what would make Serena suddenly up and leave for nothing, knowing she'd not done anything wrong since they'd gotten to the bistro.  
"Because...I left before you did.." she blurted out suddenly, moving past the blonde and walking down the side street again, once again her back to Bernie.

 

"Before I.." Bernie repeated, once again turning around and following after Serena, stopping her again with a touch on her shoulder, spinning the other woman to face her. "What do you mean before I left, I wasn't going to leave" her frown deepening in even more confusion, not sure what the other woman was trying to say.  
"Why not?".  
"Why not, because I didn't want to leave, I had no reason to leave.." repeating in her head the conversation they'd had before Serena left the bistro. "Hang on, is this about what we were talking about before you left....about the compliment I gave you about your smile?" seeing a flicker of something in Serena's eyes and across her face letting her know it was.  
"I said it because it's true" she added, her eyes not moving from the other woman's face, the brunette taking a few moments before she spoke.  
"I...I can understand why...why women...people would say it about you, of course I can, but not about me, definitely not about me" she stuttered out, dropping her eyes down to her hands, fidgeting with her fingers.

 

She doesn't understand how someone can compliment her.  
That it's more understandable that they'd compliment me and not her.  
That she doesn't feel she warrants it.  
People or women can't or won't find her attractive.  
Thinks they don't, but they do with me.  
Is she mad?  
How can she believe that she's not attractive?  
Has she seen herself?

 

"Well I've got a bit of news for you.." putting her fingers under Serena's chin to raise her head and then removing them as they faced each other. "I said it to you because it's true and it's what I think, I was just being honest with you, you're a most attractive woman and should start to give yourself more credit" hazel eyes with brown, giving a little smile.

 

Then silence.  
Silence between them.  
Silence for the brunette's brain to process the information she'd just been given.  
Information she wasn't sure she'd actually heard.  
Or had she misheard and it was a dream.  
A dream she was going to wake up from.

 

"W...What, did..did I hear that right, did you really just say that about me, like really?" not quite believing it, due to the words and who had said them to her.  
Bernie chuckled at Serena's disbelief and surprise.  
"Yeah you heard it right, every word, I did just say that about you and to you, I wouldn't lie to you about things" lightly frowning and narrowing her eyes as she saw the brown ones of the brunette start to glaze over, glaze over with tears as she replied to her question, tears spilling out and then down her cheeks. "Hey, hey it's ok" not even thinking as she wrapped her arms around the body of the woman in front of her, pulling her into her body.  
Serena let her, she herself not thinking as she leant into the embrace, her face finding a spot on the blonde's shoulder as she cried, feeling secure arms around her body holding her, even though they were out in public and anyone could come past and see them at anytime it didn't seem to matter then and there in that moment to the brunette.  
With arms wrapped around her, a hand smoothing up and down her upper back every so often, Serena let herself be soothed by her co lead and the deputy CEO, something she never in her wildest dreams expected would happen tonight, far from it, definitely not something that was going to happen to her.  
Hearing the brunette's breathing calm down and her body not tremble as much, Bernie kept her arms where they were, finding that she quite liked holding the other woman, finding it easy it seemed to put them around her and hold her, regardless of the fact Serena was or had been crying.

 

Serena kept her eyes closed for a few more minutes as she leaned against Bernie, taking the opportunity to breathe in the fruity yet floral scent of the blonde's perfume, her nose so close to the skin on her neck, closer than she'd been to any other person in years, she didn't succumb to this kind of human contact, not thinking she needed it, or if she did then she wouldn't be good enough for someone else and they'd get fed up of her like they had, a few times of seeing her and then the comments of her being a somewhat cold and not very open, poker faced, hard work and being a standoff kind of character, someone they couldn't see themselves with because of these traits, her traits, a couple of the women being bold enough to rhyme off this list without a flicker of bother in their eyes, telling her in no uncertain terms that she wouldn't get very far in the dating world or in relationships if this is the kind of woman she was, this being the final straw years ago for the brunette, she'd kept herself to herself in terms of personal life and who she was, it was easier to shut this part of yourself down than to open it up again regardless of how it felt by doing so, put all your focus into work and nothing else, it being the thing that she knew she was good at, the thing that drove her, forget relationships of any kind, just stick to work, people weren't worth it, and they didn't think she was either, she knew what they thought of her, they'd made that perfectly clear.

 

Slowly she brought her head out of its spot on Bernie's shoulder, brown eyes being met by hazel ones as she took the chance to look at the woman whose arms she'd been in for the last however long it was, Bernie smiling back at her.  
"Feeling a bit better?" Bernie asked, her arms still around Serena as she spoke, watching the other woman give a little nod to her. "Good" smiling at her.  
"Sorry about..." seeing Bernie shake her head.  
"It's ok, I just ask that you try and believe what I say, I don't lie, it's not something I believe in, it's another form or level of trust I suppose" she replied softly, seeing Serena look at her as she spoke and then give a nod in acknowledgement.  
"I can try to do this" seeing Bernie still smiling at her, a small smile appearing on her own face.  
"Now that's much better seeing that there instead of tears, maybe you should do it a bit more" came the quiet reply with a hint of cheeky intent to her tone, harking back to what she'd said earlier to the brunette, thinking she'd try it again and see if the response would be that bit better than tears.

 

She might have been right because as they stood there it had the desired effect, indeed the brunette did smile that little bit wider, dipping her eyes shyly when Bernie kept looking at her, this only helping to widen the smile that Bernie was wearing.  
She definitely suits that smile.  
And certainly smiles with her eyes.  
Yes Serena you've got a nice smile.  
Such a nice smile.


	13. Chapter 13

After getting back to her house, Serena had changed out of her clothes, put them into the washing basket, had a shower and changed into her nightdress and then got into bed, the bedside lamp on as she starting wandering her eyes over the news on her tablet, this ceasing after a few minutes, her mind thinking back to a couple of hours ago and the time she'd spent with the blonde, the way she'd made her laugh, then come after her when she'd ran out of the bistro, comforted her after getting to the root of why she'd ran out.  
  
  
  
No one had ever done this for me.  
No one ever bothered to follow me.  
They either walked out themselves.  
Or I'd walked out and then carried on walking because they didn't follow.  
But her.  
She'd done the opposite.  
And then held me.  
Put her arms around me.  
Properly held me.  
Cradled me dare I say.  
Then she'd carried on holding me.  
Even when I'd stopped crying.  
She didn't leave go.  
She let me stand there against her.  
In her arms.  
Against her.  
And it was nice.  
I liked it.  
I liked being close to her like that.  
And I don't usually like it.  
I don't usually like being that close.  
  
  
  
Closing her eyes she placed her tablet down to the side on top of the duvet and leaned back against her pillows further, her mind going back to when she was being held, her face close to Bernie's neck, the scent up her nostrils, the softest and secure way the other woman held her, her arms wrapped around her, a soothing hand up and down her back, shushing her gently to try and calm her down and this grip didn't falter, didn't loosen until she knew and felt that Serena had calmed down and even then when they were looking at each other Bernie kept her arms around her, kept her close, close to her and was smiling at her, smiling that much that when she made a comment about her smile Serena couldn't help but dip her eyes shyly from Bernie's gaze, feeling a red hue start to creep over her cheeks at the other woman's words, unable to help herself lean on the blonde that little bit more, realising as she looked down shyly that she had in her upset grabbed and kept hold of the lapels of the deputy CEO's suit coat and was still doing so now, keeping hold of said lapels since the blonde didn't seem to mind and hadn't told her otherwise, plus the fact she still had a pair of arms around her and quite liked the position they were standing in at the moment, yes she was liking the human contact, Serena Campbell was liking being held and being held by another woman, seemingly the deputy CEO and co lead of AAU in Holby, Bernie Wolfe.  
Opening her eyes as she brought herself out of her daydream, Serena became aware of a warm feeling washing over her at that exact moment, placing a palm against her chest and feeling the heat radiating through the material of her nightwear as well as her heart having considerably sped up in its beating since she'd been thinking of the other woman, both things together making the brunette take a swallow at the dryness in her mouth and then reach over to the glass of water on her beside cabinet, taking a generous gulp to salve the dryness, before sitting back again and trying to work out what was happening, but this was a lie and pointless exercise, especially since she knew the one exact reason these physical responses were happening, and one person was responsible, one certain blonde person.  
  
  
Bernie Wolfe.  
Never had a woman had such an effect.  
I'm meant to be this ice queen.  
An ice queen with a cold exterior.  
I'm not meant to get close to people.  
To women.  
And if I do it doesn't mean anything to me.  
Because I'm not that way inclined.  
Because I don't do those types of things.  
Because I don't need them.  
Because I don't like them.  
Not me.  
Do I?  
But this.  
Her.  
Well.  
This is somewhat different it seems.  
She's different.  
Very different.  
And having a different effect on me.  
For fucks sake I'm sat in bed thinking about her.  
About our exchanges if that's what you want to call them.  
About her and I going out for food and drinks.  
Her inviting me out for those things.  
Her.  
About her making me laugh.  
Complimenting me on my smile.  
Saying I should smile more often.  
That it suits me.  
The fact she's actually noticed such a thing about me.  
Has observed this and then relays it to me.  
Actually tells me.  
She didn't need to but she did.  
And then repeated it later as she held me and comforted me.  
Came after me.  
Fucking hell.  
Another woman actually came after me.  
Because she wanted to.  
Wanted to check I was ok.  
That she wasn't going to leave the bistro.  
She actually wanted to stay.  
And stay there with me. Bernie wanted to stay there with me.  
Bernie Wolfe was having a dare I say it nice time with me.  
With Serena Campbell.  
Fuck.  
  
  
  
With a glance to her phone on her bed side cabinet next to her glass she looked away and then back to it before picking it up and staring at the black lock screen in her hand. Taking another minutes pause she unlocked it and then started typing a message to a certain woman.  
**Hello, I just wanted to thank you again for tonight for what you did and for the nice time I had. Maybe you'd like to come around for a coffee after your shift tomorrow? xx  
** Re reading the message again she nodded to herself and then sent it, her phone going next to her tablet beside her on the bed, not quite believing she'd gone and sent the message, something coming over her, wanting to send it to the blonde.  
Then a beep.  
A message.  
A message from Bernie.  
**Hi, you're welcome, I enjoyed it and had a nice time too. Coffee sounds a nice idea, I'll be round after I finish my shift, hopefully get out on time haha xx**  
Serena couldn't help but chuckle at the laugh that her co lead had put at the end of the message, her mind imaging the blonde saying the words and giving a chuckle, that chuckle of hers, one that the brunette found herself smiling at.  
  
  
  
Bloody hell Serena.  
Get a grip.  
Sort yourself.  
It's only a coffee.  
Don't get any ideas.  
Don't get ahead of yourself, it's coffee.  
She's coming around for a cup of coffee.  
No more.  
No less.  
Don't go getting ahead of yourself or her.  
You know that you're colleagues.  
Colleagues who get on.  
Who run the department well.  
Who've been out for food to discuss work matters.  
And she happened to compliment you.  
And what?  
You liked it?  
Found it different.  
A nice different.  
Something no one had done for years if ever before.  
It was pleasant.  
Nice of her.  
No further ideas, Serena.  
Why would she look at you this way?  
Think of you this way?  
It's you after all.  
Yes you think she's attractive and she's mentioned it about you once, but that's it.  
Once.  
Don't jump the gun.  
Just simmer down.  
Simmer down and go to sleep.  
Calm your own thoughts.  
Thoughts that are just that.  
Thoughts.  
Fantasy and thoughts.  
Not reality.  
Not for you in any capacity with Bernie.  
Especially not you.


	14. Chapter 14

Run ragged.  
Knackered.  
Exhausted.  
Fucked.  
Out of steam.  
Tired.  
Yep all of the above applied.  
At least it was an on time finish.  
That was some small reprieve.

 

Applied to Bernie Wolfe as she stepped out of the lift at the end of her shift, the afternoon sun shining brightly outside, so brightly so that she had to squint to see as she exited through the automatic doors, down the steps and then across to her car on the other side of the car park, unlocking her car and slipping into the driver's seat, she had a coffee to go and get, one she'd been asked about late on last night, one that a certain brunette had asked her about.  
On the drive over to Serena's house on the other side of the city Bernie tapped along to the various songs that came on the radio, a little smile gracing her face as she pulled up the drive and into the space that was behind the brunette's car, stopping the car and then getting out, phone in her pocket, car locked and then making her way to the front door, tapping lightly on it, taking the time to wander her eyes over the front of the house, the way the glass of the front door and big bay living room window reflected the bright afternoon sunshine, if she was out here any longer she might need her sunglasses to shield her eyes, this thought being brought to a halt as the door clicked and then swung open, revealing a familiar brunette on the other side, a brunette who was dressed in a low, scoop neck burnt orange t shirt and dark slim fitting jeans, her feet bare and her hair slightly ruffled, it made Bernie's insides do something when she saw her brown locks like this.  
"Hello" Serena smiled as soon as she saw Bernie, in her own combination of dark jeans, long sleeve white top whose sleeves had been pushed up to her elbows, and her canvas shoes, the blonde curls custom and unruly on her head, this making Serena smile that bit more. "Please come in..." stepping aside and allowing the other woman in her house, motioning to the kitchen down the end of the hallway, following behind the other woman after locking her front door, safety and security of course.  
Bernie's eyes took in the modern and clean kitchen, granite work surfaces and kitchen island, and bright white cupboards shining like mirrors, seems like I could have used my sunglasses inside here let alone outside with that glass, imagining nothing more than a spotless kitchen from the brunette, having had have been more surprised if it'd been anything other than this, not a bad guess Bernie.  
"Coffee?" asked the brunette, Bernie turning to look at her.  
"Oh yes please that'd be nice" she replied, smiling at the brunette who immediately set to work setting up the coffee machine and getting out the cups, leaving Bernie leaning against one of the work surfaces, her eyes finding their way to watch the other woman, the way she picked up the various things she needed, gracefully moving around her kitchen, everything working like clockwork, the machine whirring into life, the way her curves were hugged by her t shirt and jeans, the burnt orange suiting her a lot, it going well with the dark brown of her hair and her bare feet, her painted toes, cherry coloured nail polish seemed the colour she'd used, cherry coloured little toe nails on Serena Campbell, that's a small detail that you don't get to find out every day, I wonder if anyone else ever got to knew this kind of thing about her, I hope not, I'm liking finding out small and personal details like this about her.

 

Well Bernie.  
This isn't a sight you expected when you took her up on her coffee offer.  
Yes you knew she'd be dressed a little differently.  
But this differently.  
This is a very good different.  
Very good indeed.  
She's most attractive like this.  
She's attractive anyway.  
But this.  
This casual looking Serena.  
Serena in her own home.  
In her own surroundings.  
Dressed casually.  
That casual that she's not bothering wearing shoes.  
Her brown hair a little ruffled.  
A cute ruffle.  
Serena how can you not think of yourself as attractive?  
Have you seen yourself?  
Like actually seen yourself?

 

Glancing back as she looked away from the coffee machine as it was nearly finished, she caught a pair of hazel eyes looking at her, looking her up and down, Bernie's eyes, Bernie looking her up and down, seeing the blonde's eyes settle on her feet for a few moments, a smile gracing the deputy CEO's face, this smile reaching her eyes, a proper smile, a full smile, a full smile whilst she looked at Serena, eyes it seemed that were fixated on her. 

 

She's smiling widely.  
Widely looking at me.  
And her smile increased at she looked at my feet.  
My bare feet with my painted toe nails.  
She must like them?  
Like what she sees?  
She likes what I look like now?  
Outside of work?  
Well she's smiling and there's only us two here.  
Plus she's looking at me.  
Bernie is looking at me.

 

With her eyes wandering back up the brunette's body, they were greeted by a slightly shy Serena, who Bernie realised had turned from facing the work surface and was now looking straight at her and had most likely been watching her for the time she'd been checking the other woman and her outfit out, all this being done in her own kitchen.  
"Y..You were erm...looking at me?" the brunette quietly said, her eyes staying on Bernie's and then darting away down to the floor before slowly raising again, her head not fully straightening as she awaited Bernie's answer.  
Bernie moistened her lips a couple of times, not that they needed it but she felt like she needed to do something at this exact moment given the position she found herself in and who she was with.  
"Erm...yes, sorry about this, it seems I couldn't or should that be can't help it" flicking her head to the side, her fringe moving from her eyes for a split second until it returned and the blonde ended up moving it with her hand herself, her eyes free of it so she could look properly at the brunette, studying Serena's reaction, trying to weigh up how she was feeling.  
"Really?" Serena swallowed after a few seconds of silent pause, her eyes chancing a look at the other woman not expecting to see her still stood in the same position, hazel totally fixed on her, seemingly unaware of anything else in the room, everything except her, the brunette holding her position, but seeing the gap between them decreasing slightly, the blonde moving towards her slowly, giving her a silent nod.  
"Does this bother you?" seemingly asking about her looking at Serena and her inching closer, seeing Serena look down at them now being side by side, the blonde still leaning against the work surface, but not having touched any part of Serena yet, their bodies with a very small slither of space between them.  
"N...no, I just...I'm not used to it, didn't...didn't expect it from...from you towards...towards me" her body being gently moved in front of the blonde, feeling hands on her hips, her back now the one against the work surface, Bernie stood in front of her, the other woman removing her hands now Serena had swapped places with her, hazel eyes still not moving off her, their faces ever so close but having had no contact yet, Bernie's breath being felt on her face, oh they were very close now.  
Hazel eyes studied her features, drinking her in, feeling like she was a piece of art in a gallery that someone had come close to to see the details, the finer details, her finer details, well I've never had someone do this to me before, ever.

 

"Do you like it? Do you like me being this close?" Bernie whispered gently, reconnecting her eyes with the brunette's big, glazed, brown orbs, Serena giving her a small nod for her answer, before a decision was made by the blonde, the decision to connect their lips, but not like the last two times it'd happened, or not happened which was probably more the case, not like this present situation anyway. With her left hand taking its place back on the brunette's hip, her right one made its way to the spot cupping behind Serena's ear, fingers sliding into soft, brown hair as her lips found the brunette's, gently leaning into the other woman and the kiss, smiling a little as she felt hands find purchase on the bottom of her t shirt, taking fistfuls of it and pulling her against the brunette, Serena was pulling her into her, she was liking and wanting this too, this gave Bernie more encouragement to deepen the kiss, chancing a swipe of her tongue against Serena's soft bottom lip, seeing if she'd let her in, which she did almost immediately, both women sighing in tandem as their tongues found the others, brushing together gently, as hands made their way from holding her t shirt to being under said t shirt and grabbing her hips, so now Bernie was leaning fully on her as they kissed, only parting when their cheeks were flushed and they'd run out of air, their foreheads leaning on the others as they both caught their breath, eyes together, hands still on the other.  
"I couldn't help do that with you either" Bernie mumbled softly, her breath once again ghosting over Serena's face, her hands now both on the brunette's hips, hoping that the brunette hadn't minded that they'd just kissed either, her reaction during the kiss leading her to believe that she hadn't. "Are you ok?" a slight concerned at the brunette's silence.  
Serena nodded against Bernie's forehead in confirmation that she was ok.  
"Y..Yes, I just...I just didn't expect it, definitely not from you towards me, but..but in a good way" she replied her tone soft and quiet, big, brown puppy like eyes still holding Bernie's gaze.

 

Bernie smiled at her response, the shy and almost timid woman in front of her, a woman who had been beaten down somehow in the past, made to think or believe that other people or women wouldn't find her attractive.  
"You're beautiful" Bernie whispered, her thumbs now stroking Serena's hips as she spoke trying to get across the sincerity of her words, unexpectedly but softly being pecked on the lips by the other woman before she felt Serena wrap her arms around her waist and snuggle into her front, resting her head on her shoulder like she had the other night after she'd walked out of the bistro, Bernie's arms and hands moving position almost instantly to accommodate their new positions, her toned arms easily wrapping around Serena and holding her close, giving her a gentle squeeze as she stood in the kitchen of the other woman, the brunette in her arms, coming to rest her own cheek gently against the top of Serena's head, smiling to herself at their position at that very moment, also the fact she could feel the soft breathing of Serena against her neck.

 

Bloody hell.  
Bloody hell she's beautiful.  
And she is beyond something else to kiss too.  
I couldn't help but kiss her.  
I mean look at her!  
How could anyone not want to kiss her.  
She's beautiful.  
Beautiful and shy.  
But that's a part of her I like.  
And it seems she likes being close but is scared at the same time.  
Scared of maybe getting too close?  
Scared of asking for it.  
For wanting it?  
Of maybe being hurt?  
Because of her suffering this in the past?  
Oh Serena what's gone on with you eh?  
What happened to you?


	15. Chapter 15

Suspicion.  
Paranoia.  
Mistrust.  
Past hurt.  
Past ghosts.  
Past mistreatment.  
Something about it festers.  
Like a cycle in your head.  
A hamster on a wheel that's stuck.  
It keeps going.  
Round and around.  
Not stopping until you take action.  
Voicing it.  
Saying it.  
Getting it out there.  
Vocalising it.  
Releasing it.  
Getting it off your chest.  
And into the air.

 

"Why did you do it?" came the random and sudden question into the air of the office, the office where the two women sat half an hour after their shifts had finished, Bernie had been on AAU all day and what a day it'd been, a bloody busy and hectic one, the blonde ceasing her typing to look up and across from where the question had come from.  
"Do what?" she frowned, confused.  
"Why did...why did you kiss me?" Serena clarified, her own eyes now with the hazel set across at the other desk, her pen still in her hand.  
Bernie's frown deepened at the expanded question.  
"What do you mean why...I thought that would have been obvious at the time, because I wanted to and I thought you'd liked it too and also that you wanted it, seen as you didn't object at the time when I asked you".  
Serena watched her as she spoke, swallowing a little at Bernie's answer.  
"But did you though, did you actually want to and did you actually like it, I mean you could have just done it because well...for the sake of it, just...just because" watching the expression shift on the blonde's face, changing from confusion to a wave of anger, the contrast happening in an instant.  
"For the sake of it, because I didn't like it, what on earth does that mean, what exactly are you trying to say here? Are you insinuating that that's what happened, that I didn't like it....that I did it for something to do almost?".  
"You might have done" Serena answered back bluntly, this was Bernie Wolfe, deputy CEO and co lead of AAU, openly gay Bernie Wolfe, she could have any woman in this entire hospital if she wanted, having seen various women eyeing the blonde as she came into AAU, staff as well as patients, all of them praying the trauma surgeon would be the one that got their case and came to treat them, the women's eyes lighting up when they were 'chosen' and Bernie did in fact go over to them, case file in hand, introducing herself and letting them know that she'd be their doctor treating them, oh yes she certainly had her pick of women, and who could blame them, look at her, she's gorgeous.  
"How dare you, how dare you say this to me, insinuate such a thing to me, especially when it was you who invited me around for coffee after work, not the other way around, not me inviting myself and then forcing myself on you, I'd never force myself on anyone, it's just not right. And then when I did get close to you I asked you if it was alright, if you were comfortable, if it bothered you and you said no, no you didn't mind, so I kissed you, kissed you because I thought you wanted me too, and I wanted too at the same time. For your information Serena I don't randomly go around just kissing women, especially not ones that are my co lead in AAU and not just for the sake of it" starting to pile her papers up into a rough pile on her desk, getting up off her chair as she did so, turning to her coat and bag on the coat stand behind her.

 

"You didn't have to kiss me, how do I know that you liked it?!" the brunette's voice rising like the blonde's had, staying seated in her chair, watching the other woman before she got up when Bernie had pulled her coat on, her bag on the desk.  
"For fucks sake are you for real?! I called you beautiful afterwards, I held you when you leaned into me, these are not the usual actions I'd take after I'd shared a kiss with someone and especially not a kiss I hadn't enjoyed!" her blood boiling with the front she thought Serena had to say such things to her, not being able to think of or see anything else apart from the crazy accusations that were being thrown her way a couple of days after they'd shared a kiss.  
"I thought that we'd made progress on a personal and professional level, that we'd gotten past the unsteady start we'd had when you first came to Holby, I thought we'd put all that aside and were getting on well, that we were building a better working relationship and a friendship, that we actually understood one another better, that we could trust each other, because I bloody trust or trusted you, yeah it was tough at first but I put that down to us having never worked together before and you having come from a pressure cooker like St James's into another highly stressful ward like AAU and needing to find your feet, that people needed to give you a chance, to get to know you without judging you on face value, judging you when they didn't really have a right to, not when they didn't know you properly" fumbling with handbag on the desk, gathering her phone and water bottle, throwing them into said bag.  
"But how do I know that it's true, that you do actually like me, people....people say things, untrue things, they...they lie, they take the piss, underhand things.." Serena babbled back, her head filling with the worst things possible, her rational filter at this very moment not clicking into gear and being applied to the blonde in front of her.  
"The only one taking the piss right here and now is you, if you honestly think in that head of yours that this is what is happening and it's how I am like then you need to bloody sit down and actually get some perspective, get your head out of your arse and consider that the issues lay with you and not me, take a look at yourself first Serena, by fuck you need it!" she replied forcefully. "Fuck this I'm going home" roughly picking up her bag, eyes blazing to match her voice, exiting the office and slamming the door behind her, not caring at that exact moment who'd seen, her red hot rage the only thing in her vision.

 

The slam of the door was the trigger, the trigger for the well of emotions of the last couple of days that the brunette had held in and suppressed to burst forth, burst in the form of tears down her cheeks, body starting to shake with how much she was crying, trying to muffle the sound by putting her hands over her mouth, yes the blinds were closed around the office, but she didn't know how much could be heard out there on the ward itself and if anyone walking past could hear her cries.  
"You stupid, stupid, idiotic woman, what did you say that for, stupid woman" banging a fist down on the desk, hissing at the force radiating through her hand, emotion adding extra force to the blow. "What did you say that for, she was right you did invite her round, you did that because you wanted to see her, see her out of work, even if it was just for a coffee, you wanted to see her because you like her, you feel attracted to her, and she said she found you an attractive woman too, hence her kissing you, she said she wanted too and you've no reason at all to disbelieve her apart from your own insecurity of the past and the arseholes you've had the misfortune to come across, but that's not her" with her head back in her hands she sobbed again, trying to keep it quiet as she could, crying at her own insecurity and stupidity, letting the ghosts of the past spring forth into the present and out of her mouth, being directed at the one woman who hadn't done anything wrong, she hadn't done anything wrong apart from be nice to the brunette, tell her she maybe shouldn't be as hard on herself and that she found her attractive, invited her out for food and then chased her when she ran out of the bistro, held her when she cried, then held her again after she'd kissed her, all these things didn't add up to someone who was dishonest, who was like Serena had gotten involved with in the past, she was different, she felt different when Serena was around her, a good different.

 

Which is probably why it made the brunette react differently herself, made her feel nervous and shy, which she was anyway but at work she wasn't, at work she had her work head on and was the confident and head strong Serena Campbell everyone saw, but inside, deep down she did feel insecure, timid, unlovable, hard on herself, quiet, not good enough for another woman and thinking she couldn't ever find someone, but then Bernie gave her the benefit of the doubt, cut her some much needed professional and personal slack, noticed that maybe Serena on the outside wasn't all that was true on the inside, she noticed this that not many do, she took that time, time away from the rumours that no doubt she'd heard about her personal life, she had started to make her own decision, a decision Serena no doubt had just made her wish she'd never made, she probably now wished that she shouldn't have given the brunette the benefit of the doubt, that she wasn't worth it, and that she felt Serena thought equally horrible things about her too, that the brunette was playing her for a fool.

 

"I'm not though Bernie, I'm not, I'm really not" she cried out into the office, having to say the actual words themselves, words she should've said when the blonde was here in front of her, so many different and opposite words she should've said to the deputy CEO before said woman had slammed the door and left the hospital for the night.

 

What the fuck have you done Serena.  
Just what the fuck have you gone and done.


	16. Chapter 16

Hard work.  
Awkward.  
Stone faced.  
Short conversations.  
Abrupt answers, well from Bernie's end anyway.  
This had pretty much been the script of the past few days after the incident in the office.  
Only speaking when absolutely necessary.  
Not longer than they had too, well a lot from Bernie's end anyway.  
Wanting to keep it short and not necessarily sweet.  
Sweet it wasn't.

 

Both women, well mainly Bernie if truth be told, had only spoken when necessary, the blonde grateful for her deputy CEO role and the fact that she had meetings today and other things that needed doing in between these meetings, things that let her escape the atmosphere on the AAU and seek the peace and quiet of her own office, by god she needed it and the events on the AAU, well the office the other day warranted it.  
"Yes?" Serena answered to the at least tenth knock at the office door in the past hour or so, sighing as she once again ceased her typing when the door opened and Raf stepped in, her face showing the surprise that it was him on the other side. "Mr Di Luca.." as he stood near the door, toying with when and how to open his mouth and speak.  
"I erm...I wanted to have a word about things on the ward at the moment" checking Serena's face for her reaction to his request, knowing things hadn't been right between the two co leads for a good few days and this was starting to affect the other staff and the atmosphere on AAU.  
"Ok, what about it?" she gave back firmly.  
"I couldn't help sensing and seeing that maybe there's some kind of problem or something between yourself and Bernie, as one of the senior doctors on AAU I felt it only right that I say something because it's starting to have an effect on the atmosphere and the rest of our colleagues have noticed something isn't right too, this is where I feel I've had to step in and say something when it starts to affect other people here and that whatever it is, maybe it's time for you both to sort it out, because it obviously isn't right and something needs to be evened out sooner rather than later" he explained, his tone even yet firm, wanting to get his message across but not in a mean way, trying to be helpful to everyone, from his co leads to the other colleagues on the ward, not wanting the situation to get any worse if he could help sort something out at this early stage.  
Serena looked straight at him after he'd finished speaking, not answering straight away, glancing to her computer screen and then back to Raf at the door.  
"I hear your concerns and I take them on board, leave it with me" she replied, her tone low and to the point, but seeming like she understood and did actually take his concerns on board.  
"Thank you, that's all I ask, I'll let you get back to your work" giving her a little smile and a nod in appreciation and then left the office, shutting the door behind him, not hearing the sigh the brunette let out the moment the door had shut.

 

With the rest of the day going by rather quickly, the ward not being that busy, allowing the brunette to spend most of it in the office catching up on the mountain of paperwork that had steadily appeared on her desk and keeping her head down after Raf had come in to inform her that the atmosphere between her and Bernie had been spreading onto the ward and the staff were starting to sense that something wasn't right between them, that something had shifted over the last few days, shifted from happy to irritable, the two women only speaking when they had to on the ward and then not at all when Bernie was doing her deputy CEO duties and Serena was left in charge.  
After putting her coat on and then putting her handbag over her shoulder, she made her way quietly out of the ward, her head down and to the lift, praying that no one else would get in with her, luckily for her they didn't, this was going to be hard enough without someone being in that small space beforehand trying to make small talk with her, small talk with other people wasn't an option right now, she wasn't interested and wasn't in the mood regardless of them being pleasant and nothing to do with her mood.

 

Arriving on the top floor where she knew Bernie's office was, she stepped out of the lift and headed down the corridor, a sound making her lift her eyes to the noise, the noise of Bernie opening the door and stepping out of her office for the day, hazel eyes immediately spotting the other person in the corridor with her but not saying a word to her, shutting the door behind her, but not getting a chance to lock it yet, because it seems another person had other ideas.

 

"Don't lock it" Serena managed to get out as she came alongside the blonde, this statement making Bernie look to her again.  
"Excuse me?" she frowned, her hand pausing on the set of keys in the lock, not having expected to see the brunette any time soon unless it was on the ward and or work related.  
"I want...I wanted to...to speak to you about...about what happened the other day, to apologise, to explain" swallowing at the dense dryness that had invaded her mouth.  
"I've nothing to speak to you about, I think you said quite enough the other day don't you?" only just finishing her sentence as Serena asked again.  
"Please, please let me explain, what I said the other night, I shouldn't and I want to apologise and explain, please Bernie?" her voice taking on a more pleading tone, her feet rooting her to the spot next to the blonde, balling her fists in nervous energy, wanting Bernie to allow her the chance to explain. "Please can I have a little bit of your time and then I'll leave you alone, just one chance" silently begging for the blonde to give her this one chance to explain and apologise, properly explain.

 

Bernie sighed heavily and then looked again to the woman beside her after looking away, pressing down on the door handle and pushing the door back open, caving into the brunette's insistent pleas knowing it was highly unlikely that Serena would give up standing there and asking, Bernie had experienced a bit of this when the brunette had first started working at Holby.

 

"Fine, one bloody chance" Bernie gave back bluntly heading back inside her office, Serena following behind her and shutting the door of the office behind them both, steeling herself to explain or at least try to explain her stance, apologise to, hoping she'd manage to do both with this small lifeline she'd been given.


	17. Chapter 17

"Well" Bernie replied grumpily and tired, obviously not wanting to really be here and in such circumstances, it'd been a long enough day as it was and this was not what she was wanting to have been doing right now, not when she should've been at home at least fifteen minutes ago.  
"I..I erm wanted to start with how sorry I am, I shouldn't have said what I said to you the other day, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean any of it.." not finishing her sentence before she was interrupted.  
"It bloody sounded like you meant it alright when you were saying it" her tone one of anger and irritation, a hint of upset thrown in there too, yes she was definitely upset at the situation and the outburst.  
"I..I know it sounded like I did but I really didn't, I was out of line and totally didn't mean what I said, it was awful what I said to you and it should never have been said at all. I just...I was caught off guard, what I mean is the k...the kiss caught me off guard.." her head scrambling as she fought to get her thoughts in order for them to come out of her mouth in the right way. "Off guard in the sense of I didn't..I didn't expect to be kissed by you, definitely not by you, a woman who is as attractive and just so nice as you are, it's the last thing someone such as me expected, very much so. Especially someone who seems the opposite of me, someone who is kind, open, attractive, warm, most things that I don't consider myself and to have this particular woman kiss me, well yes it did catch me off guard and because of this I reacted, reacted in one of the worst ways possible really" dipping her eyes to her shoes, trying to regroup, steady herself and her legs that felt like they were going to start turning to jelly some time soon.  
Bernie furrowed her brows softly at the admission, watching Serena looking down at her feet and then wandering her eyes over the figure in front of her.

 

She doesn't understand why I'd kiss her?  
Why I'd want to kiss her.  
She was surprised when I did.  
She feels she's the opposite of me?  
She thinks that little of herself and that much of me.  
She actually dislikes herself this much.  
This much that she reacted in defence.  
In self defence.  
In protection.  
Protection of herself because of how she sees herself.

 

This admission in itself from the brunette seemed to soften the blonde a little from how she had felt and acted initially when Serena had turned up as she was wanting to go straight home.  
Bernie paused for another minute before she spoke, wanting to continue the conversation in the right way.  
"Is there a specific reason why you'd feel this way about yourself and what happened the other day?" coming to perch on the edge of the front of her desk, her handbag on one of the visitors chairs, looking at the woman in front of her behind the chairs.  
This woman closed her eyes as the question was asked, as if gathering herself to answer it, steadying herself or at least trying too, taking a couple of breaths, opening her eyes and raising her head to look at Bernie.  
"I've....I've not, not exactly been very good when it comes to picking nice...nice women, been good at picking bad ones, very good at that" scoffing lightly at her own answer but then swallowing at the lump in her throat. "I've erm....been...been told that, that...that I'm hard work, cold, quiet and then they'd leave...leave saying that they had gotten bored or that I'm boring" her brow creasing as she spoke, the memory painful and this pain coming out onto her face as she recalled the events.  
"One woman..there was one that, that I had fallen for, one that stayed longer than the rest, one I thought was different from the rest, that I...that I loved.." an even bigger swallow at this admission, a deep breath in and a closing again of her eyes to try and hide the fact that she was beginning to struggle with saying these kinds of things, especially in front of Bernie. "But then...then she walked away, said she'd found someone else, someone better, a 'younger model', that she'd always known that it'd never develop into anything really long term, that the money I had and earned because of my job, the sex we'd had, were the main reasons she'd stuck around that long, nothing else had been worthy of keeping her here this long other than those" her breath hitching in her throat, tears pooling in her eyes and then starting to trickle down her cheeks, it was with this that she grabbed her bag from its place on one of the chairs in front of her and bolted from the spot, heading for the door, fumbling with the handle to get out, suddenly feeling a hand on top of hers.

 

Bernie's hand.

 

"Hey now, hey, it's alright, you don't have to be running out" she replied gently, keeping her hand where it was, feeling the other woman's underneath shaking lightly even though she had it on the metal handle.  
"I..I'm sorry for what I said, I...I didn't mean it, I didn't...I'm sorry.." came the response through an avalanche of tears, trying to calm her breathing enough to get the words out, struggling now to hold herself together since she'd started talking about these things, feeling guilty about the things she'd said to the blonde the other day, wanting to take them back as soon as Bernie had slammed the door and left.  
"I know you are, why we don't we have a seat, let's sit down a minute" guiding the brunette over to the visitors chairs and into one, placing her handbag on the floor after taking it from in her hands, she herself taking the other chair, turning it to face Serena's, pausing for a couple of minutes and then speaking.  
"Serena, Serena look at me" watching an ashen and tear stained face look up from her hands in her lap and then at Bernie.  
"When I said I find you attractive I meant it and I still do, I can't just turn my attraction to you on and off and to be honest I wouldn't want to because I do find you very attractive, you're a very attractive woman regardless of what you think about yourself, it's what I think of you and that still stands".  
"Even...even now, like...like this?" she asked, her voice a little hoarse from crying, seeing Bernie nod her head.  
"Yeah, even like this, right here and now" watching Serena look at her hands again and then look back up at Bernie. "I understand why past experiences would make you have the thoughts and feelings you do that's only natural, but not all of us are like the idiots you've crossed paths with in the past, and from what you've told me they're total morons of women because of the person that they've missed out on, that person being you" seeing Serena listening intently as she spoke. "I see it as a good thing in a way, because well, if they'd not been totally stupid and left you, then you might not be sat here in my office in Holby right now and I wouldn't have gotten the chance to meet you and be getting the chance to know you and tell you how attractive I find you and that I think you're a nice person, a nice woman who has just had her trust broken by a couple of well...bitches, their loss is my gain" she shrugged, giving a little smile to the other woman, Serena's breathing having calmed down to a more normal level, giving only a little sniffle now and then.  
"I..I have had it broken by them but you're, you're not them, not them at all, you're so much more than them, and I...I...I'm v...very attracted to you" her voice still quiet as she replied, flashing Bernie a shy but small smile, dipping her eyes as her cheeks flushed red, this causing Bernie's smile to widen that bit more.

 

There's that shyness.  
That flush of her cheeks is cute.  
She's very attractive and cute at the same time.  
Bloody damn you Serena being both.  
Not that I mind one bit.  
Hence why I'm smiling right now.

 

"All I'm asking is that maybe you could try talking to me or mentioning things like this and how you're feeling, instead of bottling it all up and then blowing up and saying things you don't actually mean, but you say because you feel all ate up and overwhelmed eh?" Serena reconnecting their eyes and nodded in response, Bernie could see that she understood what she was saying and agreed with her too.  
"Now comes a big question I need to ask you" Bernie continued, this causing Serena's eyes to widen in anticipation of what the blonde might be asking her, thinking maybe she was going to deliver a cutting blow even after everything that had been said between the pair of them over the past hour or so of being sat in the office.  
"W..What's that?" she asked tentatively, preparing herself for the incoming question, swallowing a little after speaking.  
"How would you feel about coming out for some food on Saturday night, I know we're both on early shifts and are off on Sunday, so maybe you'd like to come out for something to eat and a couple of drinks with me?".  
"Like going out...out?" this response causing a little chuckle in the blonde, as she nodded.  
"Yes out out, I'd like to take you out on a date on Saturday night, Serena" clarifying it for the other woman, seeing her brown eyes widen that bit more at the words and then soften, yet another shy smile erupting on her face, something that Bernie couldn't help but smile at, that smile she has, especially that shy one, it just does something to me, it's so innocent and soft, a bit like the woman herself under the hard shell exterior I suppose.  
"I'd really like that thank you, and not just for the offer, for this, tonight, for letting me have this time" fidgeting with her fingers as she spoke, grateful for Bernie not automatically dismissing her like she could have done and couldn't really have been blamed for.  
"You're welcome, I'm glad that we've spoken like this" seeing the tension lessen even more on the other woman's features, the most relaxed she'd seen her since she'd been beside her in the corridor before. "Come here" not waiting for Serena to answer as she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around the brunette and pulled her in for a hug, unaware that Serena had closed her eyes the minute Bernie had embraced her, cuddling close to the blonde, relaxing into the contact, relaxing for the first time in days.


	18. Chapter 18

Sitting at the table in the restaurant she'd chosen for their date, this being a small, quiet and quaint place, dipped lighting, little candles in the middle of each of the wooden table and chairs, this fitting nicely with the silver cutlery and sparkling wine and water glasses that sat at each place, a type of place she thought the brunette might appreciate. Bernie glanced at the time on her watch, ten minutes to go until she'd actually arranged to meet Serena here, the blonde letting the brunette know she'd take care of booking the taxi for her, knowing she probably take her time getting ready and not wanting to rush her at all, so she'd taken care of the timing and it picking her up.

 

I wonder what she'll wear?  
I remember her in that dress at the function.  
And how good she looked in it.  
By god did she look good in it.  
I still can't fathom how she doesn't realise her beauty.  
Those women seriously have affected her.  
Like badly affected her.  
Her and her trust.  
Her confidence.  
Her self esteem.  
Jeez.

 

"Not late am I?" the soft voice asked, causing Bernie to look up at it, the face of the brunette looking down at her, the brunette who was dressed a pair of boot cut, form hugging back trousers, an oriental, floral cap sleeved top that had an uneven hem just past her waist, the main body of top was coloured black but this was permeated by the light orange piping details on the edges and the various oriental flowers in purple, white and orange all over the top, her feet having black, kitten heel court shoes peeking out the edges of her trousers, the whole look making Bernie smile at the woman in front of her, her hair all neat and just so, as was her makeup, little dangly earrings, jewellery and her watch, a little handbag over her shoulder.  
"Not at all" Bernie replied, she herself in slim fitted black trousers, light tan, laced up brogues, and a fitted black shirt a few buttons opened at the top, the sleeves folded a few times so they sat on the top of her forearms near her elbows, her curls tamed around her face, a ring on her right hand, watch on her left wrist and a set of sparkling stud earrings, a light dusting of makeup finishing her look, rising up from her chair to greet the other woman, leaning forward and gently kissing her cheek, feeling the little bit of heat on the brunette's skin as she did so, this causing her to smile as she pulled back and picked up the single red rose that was on her side of the table wrapped in clear cellophane, a thin red ribbon around it. "I'm glad you could make it, this is for you" as Serena took the flower.  
"Oh...Oh thank you" it obvious that she didn't expect this small but kind gesture from the other woman, something she'd never had before, seeing Bernie smile and then nod at her, this causing Serena to smile back at her, both women then taking their seats at the table, looking at the other as they did so.  
"You..".  
"You.." Bernie chuckling as they spoke at the same time, this making Serena smile too. "After you.." she added, letting the brunette speak first.  
"I just wanted to say that you look lovely tonight, you suit that look a lot" smiling at the blonde as she said it, eyes with Bernie's.  
"Thank you, you look lovely yourself, that style of top with the different colours really suits you" Bernie replied back, Serena's eyes lighting up that little more at the compliment as she took a sip of her glass of water.  
"I've not...I've not been out like this in quite a while, on a date.." the brunette admitted quietly, giving a little shrug at her words.  
"That's ok, I've not done it in quite a while myself" Bernie said, sharing a little smile with Serena, the admission from the blonde seeming to help calm the other woman a bit more.

 

After ordering their food and drinks, the conversation started to open up and flow nicely between them, topics and interests coming up that they discovered they shared the same opinions in, this being a nice surprise for them both, finding they had more in common with the other than would have originally been thought by either woman, both women finding they'd not had this much in common with women they'd been on dates with or dated before, but now they had and this added to the date going even better right at that moment.  
The nice atmosphere and conversation continued to carry on in the same manner as their food arrived and drinks were topped up, laughs being had as little stories and anecdotes were told and shared by both women to the other, both liking the fact they could make the other woman laugh, humour being a big plus for them both and something they always looked for in women they found attractive and were interested in, the list of similarities seemed to be growing by the minute, not that this was a bad thing at all, quite the opposite for them.  
With all food finished and the plates and various glasses cleared away by the staff, Bernie asked the waiter for the bill for their meal, this coming in the shape of a black little plastic case, the word Bill in gold lettering, placing it on the table the waiter smiled at Bernie and then stepped away for a few minutes whilst he attended to another table, the blonde seeing a hand coming towards the case from across the table, quickly reaching out and picking up the case out of her reach, seeing Serena frown a little.  
"What are you doing?" she asked, her brow still softly furrowed.  
"I'm paying" Bernie replied simply, giving a smile.  
"Oh no I couldn't possibly let you..." her words being cut short by Bernie reaching her hand out and placing itself on top of Serena's that she'd reached out to try and get the bill to see how much she needed to put towards it, looking down at the touch and then up at Bernie.  
"Yes you can because I'm saying that's what's happening, I invited you out on this date so therefore I'm paying, I insist ok, please?" came the soft but firm reply, her tone conveying that she wanted to pay and wanting Serena to let her.

 

I'm not used to this.  
To another woman offering to pay.  
To pay for our date.  
Wanting to pay.  
Insisting she pay.  
Asking me to let her pay.  
But she does.  
She wants to pay because she invited me on this date.  
Bernie did.  
And she seems to be happy to pay.  
It's something I'm so not used to.  
Not used to someone like her.  
But this time.  
It's a good different.  
I suppose this time I need to let her pay.  
Because she's asking me to let her.

 

"Ok...ok then, I'm just not used to this....thank you" she replied softly, giving Bernie a smile as she saw the blonde nod her head in gratitude and smile back at her, but not moving her hand, keeping it here all the time the waiter came back over with the card machine, Bernie effortlessly touching said card to the machine with her opposite hand, her occupied hand soothingly brushing the pad of her thumb against Serena's thumb, a silent way of Bernie trying to let the brunette know everything was alright, more than alright.  
Pulling up outside Serena's house in the taxi, Bernie quickly got out and made her way around to Serena's door, opening it for her and helping her out, having said to the other woman she wanted to walk her to the door just to make sure she got home safely and she herself knew she was safe inside. Linking arms they made their way from the car and walked up the brunette's drive, all the way to her front door, Serena opening said door and pushing it open slightly before she released her hand from the handle, putting her handbag on the mat inside the door, turning around on the spot to face Bernie.  
"I just want to say thank you again for tonight, I've had such a wonderful time, one of the best times I can say I've had in quite a long time, thank you".  
Bernie smiled brightly at the words.  
"You're most welcome, I've had a brilliant time myself tonight too" this sentiment being reflected in Serena's smile that had developed on her face knowing Bernie had enjoyed it too.  
"There is....there's something else I'd like...I'd like to do before you go.." the brunette's voice dropping in volume from a few moments ago indicating her shyness at the request.  
"And what's that?" enquired Bernie, searching Serena's face for her answer.  
"To....To kiss you" her brown eyes immediately searching Bernie's face for any sign or hint of a sign that she might not want this, she didn't get any, instead she got a wide smile from her.  
"I thought you might not ever ask that tonight" chuckled the blonde at her own honesty, Serena herself giving a little laugh at this too, Bernie closing the small gap between them, her arms snaking around Serena's waist, the brunette's hands moving so that one threaded into blonde curls and one was around Bernie's shoulders, their lips coming together, tongues automatically exploring the others mouths, causing soft murmurs of approval to fill the air between them, not that there was much of that given their current positions, Bernie tightening her arms and pulling Serena into her, wanting to feel the brunette close against her as they kissed.

 

"That is basically the perfect end to a wonderful date, probably the best I've been on" Bernie whispered when they'd parted lips, her eyes not moving from Serena's smiling eyes, adding "Maybe we'll have to do it again if you'd like?" giving a little wink to the brunette, who nodded in answer.  
"I would yes, that'd be lovely, thank you again" this being answered by Bernie pecking her lips again, unable to help herself, how could she with this beautiful brunette in front of her.  
"Thank you for coming, now get yourself inside so you don't get cold and so I know you're all safe" now it was Serena's turn to gently peck Bernie's lips and smile widely at her own forwardness in doing this, before she removed herself from the blonde and stepped into her house, picking her handbag from the doormat, turning to watch the other woman head back down her drive and then into the taxi, giving her little wave as soon as the car door was shut, Bernie waving back through the window, Serena unable to help stand at the door until the taxi drove down her road and was out of sight, only then she shut the front door behind her, a rather Cheshire cat like grin painted on her face.


	19. Chapter 19

"....she seems nicer I must say, more pleasant really, it's better" Fletch replied to Raf at the nurses' station, both men having been talking of how Serena seemed to have calmed down a bit since compared to how she'd been at the first time of meeting her and her coming onto the ward, this woman they hadn't found pleasant and easy to get along with, quite the opposite, somewhat of a bossy and ego driven woman, who'd seem to forgotten that she was now working in Holby AAU as a co lead with Bernie, and she wasn't still at St James's ruling the roost with her iron fist and getting to single handily call all of the shots on her own and do it all her own way, here it was a team, a family, everyone helping each other and the patients, it just happened Bernie and herself were the co leads, chosen due to their skill and experience to do so and this was fine with the team.  
"And maybe this could be due to some private struggles none of us are privy too and that it's taken a little while for her to settle in and feel that bit more comfortable, and now she is this is why she's changed the way she behaves because she feels more like part of the team that we've got here" Bernie interrupted as she came behind them both to collect a file that was sitting in the tray at one side of the desk, both men looking to her as she spoke to them.

 

Looking at each other and then at Bernie they both nodded in agreement.  
"That's a fair point there boss, I didn't really think of it like this, I understand it from this stance now though and I'm glad she's starting to feel more like part of our AAU team and family here" Fletch replied, giving a little smile to which Bernie gave him one back.  
"Hi Serena".  
"Hi Serena" both men said on seeing the brunette walking past the station to go and attend to another of her patients, Serena looking up from her papers and at the voices, a smile starting over her face at the acknowledgements.  
"Hello Fletch, Raf" her eyes moving to Bernie and her smile widening that little bit more, the blonde giving her a little wink and a smile, liking seeing the other woman smiling when she was at work, so much better than when she'd seen her crying or look like she didn't belong here or that she wasn't part of the team when she'd first started at Holby.  
With the rest of the day passing rather smoothly and without any great emergencies, it allowed both co leads to move to the office and collect their coats and bags in the early afternoon, given the fact they'd both been on since just before 6 am that morning, which in some respects did feel like the middle of the night when you were getting up at half past four, but also afforded the luxury of finishing in mid afternoon too.

 

"Can I ask you something?" Serena spoke into the silence as she pulled her coat on her body, Bernie looking up at the request as she herself had gotten her coat on.  
"Of course" came the simple reply, her eyes on Serena's as she waited.

 

Go on then, ask her.  
She's waiting for you to ask her.  
You know you want to ask her.  
You've been thinking about it all day.  
Now is your chance to ask her.  
Do it.  
She's waiting.  
Go on.

 

"Would erm...would you consider going for a coffee with me this afternoon, erm...like now, after we leave here?" cursing herself at how what she just said must sound like to the other woman.  
"Sounds like a lovely idea" was the instant reply from Bernie, this drawing Serena's attention straight back to looking at the other woman having dipped her eyes a little after asking the question, the smiling face of Bernie, which in turn made Serena smile too.

 

With the short journey made to the coffee shop that Serena had chosen for them to go to, the brunette having offered to drive them there and Bernie taking her up on her offer, the inside of the coffee shop had beige walls, wooden floors, wooden tables of different sizes with a mixture of cream and black leather, high backed chairs at the tables, two display cabinets on either side of the wooden service counter, also a small glass display cabinet on the counter itself with more of the shops homemade food that was available to buy, it seemed this coffee shop had everything a tea, coffee, cake and biscuit lover could want from a small and cosy shop, the blackboard on the wall behind the counter with some of the menu written in white paint, something Bernie particularly liked to see in these sorts of places, it was a cosy and homely touch, good choice of place here Serena I'll give you that, you have taste.   
Drinks and a little snack each chosen and ordered, the conversation turned to discussing the day's events and how they felt the ward was running, if any improvements in staff and operations in and out of theatre were needed, or any additional equipment and things of this nature were needed, something that Bernie could definitely help out with, these talks continuing when the drinks and food had been delivered to their table, a few laughs being thrown in in between the work talk.  
"How do you think our date went the other night?" Bernie dropped into the conversation, taking a sip of her coffee as she asked, hazel eyes peeking over the rim of the cup, looking straight at the brunette, a small smile gracing her lips on replacing her cup on the table.  
Serena offered a small smile of her own at the question posed.  
"I thought that it went well, and if I'm honest was probably the best first date I've been on. What are your thoughts on it?" her cheeks with a light flush on them, it now being her turn to take a sip of her coffee and peek at the blonde from over her cup, waiting for the others woman's reply and thoughts, seeing Bernie's smile widen at her answer, giving a nod before she spoke.  
"Funny you should say that because I thought it went well too and add to this it was the best first date I myself have been on too, how could it not have been, look who I got to share it with eh?" taking a pause to sip again from her cup, eyes on the table for a second before they were back on Serena. "I was just wondering after we've finished here, if you'd like to come back to mine for a coffee, it's just an offer and if you don't want to then that's totally fine, there's no pressure, I just thought that I'd ask you" giving another smile, enforcing the fact that she didn't mind if Serena said no to her offer, wanting to extend it anyway to her.  
This offer widened the brunette's smile even more, her eyes not moving from Bernie, it being her turn to nod her head at the offer.  
"I'd really like to do that, thank you" still smiling as she continued to drink her coffee, her eyes it seemed liked looking at the woman opposite her that much that they didn't move all the while that they were finishing their drinks and food, her mind starting to flood with images of what Bernie's house might be like, the different touches and colours that might be in it.

 

Now now Serena calm.  
Don't be getting too busy in that head of yours.  
We know what happens when you do.  
Calm woman, calm.  
Finish your coffee and be calm.  
Let's not get too ahead of ourselves.  
Just go with the flow.  
Just go with it.  
Go with it along to Bernie's house.  
Calmly.


	20. Chapter 20

"It really is a lovely place that you've got here" Serena remarked as they stood in the open plan kitchen, Serena leaning against the kitchen island, the kitchen that had a little dining area off to the side and a living room over the other side of the room, all homely and nicely furnished, the big, grey material corner sofa with matching foot stool looking exactly right for the room, it also looking like the sort of sofa you could easily fall asleep on whilst watching the ample sized flat screen TV that was nicely housed on top of a wooden TV unit with open storage underneath for Bernie's satellite box and little cupboard with a door to the right of this equipment.  
Bernie having showed the rest of her apartment to the brunette and the other woman remarking how much of a lovely place she had, the setting, how it was furnished, everything, and the setting by the water with the addition of two balconies finished the whole place off so well, complimenting Bernie's taste in property and how she'd picked the furnishings out too.  
"Thank you" Bernie smiled as she passed Serena her coffee, the brunette taking a little sip before putting it down on the top of the island and seeing Bernie doing the same, both sharing a smile. "I was just thinking....maybe, well it's later now and we only had something small to eat before, maybe...maybe you'd like to stay for dinner, I mean you don't have to it was just a thought.." her speech being brought to a halt by a smiling Serena nodding at her, sensing the blonde's nerves at asking her this kind of thing, dinner and coffee were things in themselves, but this was something different, well it was obviously to Bernie and the way she seemed nervous to ask Serena if she'd like to stay, it seemed even Bernie Wolfe, the Bernie Wolfe got nervous in certain circumstances and with asking certain things, it was quite cute actually if you asked Serena.

 

Her back to the brunette a short while later whilst stood in the kitchen, Serena sat on the plush and large sofa, or should that be sat in the sofa, it was comfier than it looked, if that was possible, the TV having been turned on and left low in the background, not that Serena was watching it, she was watching Bernie instead, the way the blonde moved around the kitchen, a tea towel over her left shoulder for a short while and then it ended up on the kitchen counter, this causing Serena to smile that bit more, watching and waiting for Bernie to stay in the spot at the cooker with her back to the brunette again before she got up from the sofa, her feet now bare and padded over and into the kitchen, coming to stand at Bernie's left side and look over what she was cooking, the blonde glancing to the other woman as she stood beside her, flashing her a smile as she saw her. It seemed with Serena stood next to her watching and being so close, Bernie automatically and without really thinking about it, reached her left arm out and slid it around Serena's lower back, drawing the other woman against her, feeling Serena respond after a few seconds and snuggle close to her, this only widening Bernie's smile, so much so that whilst stirring the chicken and white wine sauce in the pan with her right hand, she turned her head to press a kiss to the brunette's hair, liking the feel of her soft locks against her lips, the scent of Serena's floral shampoo floating up her nostrils.

 

"How did...how did you know I wanted something like this without me saying anything?" came the soft question from the brunette, having not asked for something she secretly wanted and hoped Bernie to do when she'd come over from the sofa, but not knowing quite how to ask for it, it surprising her that Bernie knew instinctively what she wanted in that moment, her head resting on the other woman's shoulder, tucked close to Bernie, her left hand palm down on Bernie's upper chest, taking in the scent of the woman whose arms she was in.  
"Well...I get the feeling and impression that you quite like being held and being close to the right person and you enjoy physical contact and hugs etcetera, that the right person holding you makes you feel safe and secure, things that you've wanted for quite a long time in your life, simple things, so when you came over and stood near me I thought I'd take a little chance that you'd like it and want this, plus I wanted to hold you as well" Bernie explained, her arm and position not moving from Serena, her chin gently resting on the top of soft, brown hair as she waited for a response.

 

Bloody hell.  
She's good.  
And she's right.  
Right in me liking contact.  
Physical contact and being held.  
Held by the right woman.  
Someone who makes me feel safe.  
Feels secure.  
Someone I've not had ever I don't think.  
Not until now.  
Not until her.  
The way she is.  
Just the way she speaks to me.  
The way she comforts me.  
The way she treats me.  
The way she holds me.  
The way she understands me.  
See me.  
The real me inside.  
Just like now.

 

"You're right I do like it, but only with certain people, or I thought that these people in my past did these things for me, but I've come to realise they didn't fully offer me those feelings of safety and security, not until now, until I've had you hold me. Every time you've held me I've not felt afraid or unsafe, quite the opposite, I've always felt safe and secure, like nothing could get to me and harm me, these things I can say I've not felt in years and years and didn't think I'd ever feel again, think it wasn't possible to feel again, but well it's certainly been proven wrong when you've held me, every single time it's felt the best it's ever felt when someone has held me, I've felt so safe" came the honest reply, waiting a few seconds and then slowly lifting her head off Bernie's shoulder to look at her, being greeted by a smiling Bernie looking back at her, this causing Serena to smile back, gently being kissed on the lips by the blonde, the brunette smiling to herself as she retook her position resting her head on the other woman's shoulder as she finished their meal off at the cooker.

 

When their meal was all finished and eaten, Bernie cleared the dining table and loaded the dishwasher, letting Serena know that she'd take care of clearing up, that the brunette was to go and relax on the sofa and that she'd be over very soon because it wouldn't take her long to tidy the kitchen, which it didn't and plus the fact Serena was a guest at her house, no way was she having the other woman helping her clear up things, she was going to relax on the sofa and Bernie could take care of things. Everything cleaned and cleared Bernie joined the brunette on the sofa, taking her position next to her, her feet up on the large foot stool, no sooner had she sat down and the brunette was closing the small space between them cuddling into Bernie's arms, her head finding what was fast becoming her favourite spot on Bernie's shoulder, the blonde gladly wrapping her arms around the brunette, giving her a little squeeze as they continued watching the TV.  
Bernie wasn't sure how much time had passed since they first cuddled up together on the sofa, but it wasn't a massive amount of time, she did however become quickly aware that the woman in her arms had grown increasingly silent and heavy recently as they sat together, this causing her to look down and a wide smile to develop over her face at the sight that she was greeted with, this sight being a now fast asleep Serena who was curled in close to Bernie, having never moved from her position from the moment Bernie had sat down and she'd led against her until now, her right hand having reached out in her sleep and taken hold of a little of the blonde's t shirt and kept hold of it still now, this little quirk Bernie finding adorable, as if Serena wanted to stay as close as possible even when she was asleep, knowing that by holding onto Bernie's t shirt a bit that that meant the other woman was still there next to her, holding her.

 

"Well someone certainly looks comfortable there, so comfortable that they've fallen asleep on the spot, or should that be in the spot, a spot that is slowly becoming yours. And as for what you said before about feeling safe in my arms, well you are, you are safe, I couldn't let anyone hurt you and I couldn't do anything but keep you safe and look after you, because you deserve these things, you deserve to be made to feel safe and secure, nothing will happen to you whilst I'm here, I'll keep you safe" she whispered, wandering her eyes over the sleeping woman she was holding, doing this for a few more minutes and then leaning down to place a tender kiss on her forehead, moving to shuffle down on the sofa a little more and not be sat up as much, slowly bringing Serena with her, smiling when the woman in her arms remained asleep as she led back on the sofa, turning the volume down that bit lower with her left hand just in case it woke the brunette, feeling content to just sit right here holding the other woman in her arms as she carried on watching TV, her arms fitting snug and perfectly around the body of Serena like she was meant to be in them.


	21. Chapter 21

Flickering her eyes open she squinted.  
Closing them again for a few minutes before once again opening them.  
Sunshine coming in through a slight split in the white shutters on the windows.

 

Windows.  
White shutters.  
Soft surface I'm led on.  
Led on.  
Led in.  
A bed.  
A rather large bed.  
A queen size one if I'm not mistaken.  
Bernie's bed.  
I'm led in Bernie's bed.  
Her bed, in her apartment.

 

Opening her eyes fully to look around the large and nicely decorated room.  
Realising she was only dressed in her camisole and knickers she glanced around her, her eyes falling on the bedside cabinet on the other side of the bed, her blouse and trousers neatly folded and sitting there on top, turning to look on the cabinet next to her, a fresh bottle of water placed there for her.

 

She took my blouse and trousers off last night?  
Helped me out of them.  
Did this and then let me have her bed.  
Let me sleep in.  
Sleep in rather a lot considering that it's now 8:30am.  
This time is unheard of for me.  
It's usually closer to 6, 6:30am if I'm lucky.  
Now that's what a lay in has become in my world.

 

Putting her trousers on but leaving her blouse on the cabinet, Serena padded down the stairs rubbing her eyes and giving a little yawn, her nostrils flaring as she neared the kitchen and smelt food and cooking, also the sound of music that she was guessing was a radio or something similar like a phone, her face breaking into a smile at the sight in front of her, Bernie once again had her back to her, only this time she was dressed in loose fitting jogging bottom shorts and a loose fitting tee, her feet bare as she hummed softly to the music currently on, the tea towel once again over her shoulder as she cooked, something else Serena found cute about her, plus the other things obviously, the blonde seeming to sense the other woman's presence as she entered the kitchen from upstairs, glancing behind her to smile at the brunette.  
"Good morning" Bernie said, her smile widening that little more when she realised the cute bed hair the other woman had. "How did you sleep?".  
"Good morning" Serena replied, adding. "Rather well thank you, it seems I didn't wake up once, which for me is a rarity these days, has been for years" she admitted. "What happened last night?" she asked leaning against the kitchen island, not quite sure she remembered much after Bernie joined her on the sofa and she cuddled up to her, the good amount of sleep blurring her memory a little.  
"Well you fell asleep in my arms not long after we'd eaten dinner and then sat cuddled up on the sofa, so after a while I carried you upstairs to my room, then carefully took off your blouse and trousers and folded them up on the bedside cabinet, I thought you'd be more comfortable without them whilst you were asleep, then I put you into my bed. I took the spare room because you were fast asleep and I didn't want to risk waking you if I woke and got up early, you looked like you would like a lay in. And with this I was going to cook and bring you up breakfast in bed, I made a bit of everything I thought you might like just so you'd have a few options, and me not being sure what you might like to eat, but you kind of beat me to it since you're already up and stood here" she softly chuckled at the last part about being beaten to it by the brunette, a soft smile on her face as she did so.

 

Oh my god.  
As if.  
As if she did all this for me.  
Just for me.  
No one has ever done anything like this.  
Not even close.  
Never.

 

Feeling herself melt that bit more for the blonde in front of her, the selfless way she did things for Serena, thinking about the other woman before herself, in regards to giving up her own bed for Serena's sleep and comfort and not just leaving her to sleep in all her clothes on the sofa like some people might have done, most would've put a blanket over her and left her there, but not Bernie, she did the opposite, the very opposite, something Serena hadn't experienced before, to be fair she'd not experienced someone like the blonde before, the opposite she'd dealt with and encountered a few times, a good few times, but this, this was totally new territory, new territory with a woman who was turning out to be someone she'd dreamed of meeting and coming into contact with for years.  
Saying nothing Serena padded over to the blonde who'd just turned the cooker off under the pan she was cooking with, turning to her left as she saw Serena approach, feeling the brunette's arms snake around her waist and then her cuddle into Bernie's front, this gesture widening the smile on the deputy CEO's face, freeing her own hands from the cooking to wrap them around the other woman, not quite sure what she'd done to deserve what she gathered was a hug from Serena.  
"What's this for?" she chuckled softly, as they both stood in the middle of Bernie's kitchen cuddling each other.  
"Just for being you and for being so thoughtful and considerate of me" Serena replied, lifting her head from Bernie's shoulder to look at the other woman, seeing a smile on the face of Bernie at her words.  
"I couldn't be any other way with you, and it's how I think that you should be treated, and how everyone else in your life should have treated you and seen as some didn't well I am going to do just what they should've done, as I've said and I'll continue to say, their loss is most definitely my gain" giving the brunette a smile, as she dipped her head to whisper in her ear. "And can I just say that you look delightful stood there in just your camisole and trousers, most delightful" the sincere words floating straight into Serena's psyche, causing her to feel shy as she heard them, this being the first time anyone in her life had ever said this kind of thing to her and she knew Bernie saying it was genuine and that the blonde meant every word.

 

Letting the words register for another few seconds Serena then raised her eyes to meet the ones of Bernie, a shy smile on her face as she did.  
"No one has ever said that to me before" she admitted, waiting to see the blonde's reaction.  
"Well that's because they're idiots and in a way I'm glad that they were too blind to see it or too self absorbed and ignorant, because if they hadn't have been then I wouldn't have been able to stand here and do this" saying nothing more, silently lowering her head and touching her lips to the patch of soft skin just below Serena's ear on her neck, gently kissing here a couple of times, feeling her hands being moved by the other woman from on top of her camisole to underneath it and placing them against the skin of Serena's hips. The first time she'd gotten to experience the softness of Serena's skin against her fingertips.

 

And what skin she had.  
I'd wondered what her skin would feel like.  
About how soft it'd be.  
How silk like.  
How warm it'd be.  
How my fingertips would feel against it.  
How it'd feel against my hands.  
But this.  
Right here and now.  
This is better.  
So much better than I could ever have imagined.  
Because this is it.  
This is the real thing.  
It's her skin against my fingertips.  
I'm getting to experience it for myself.  
I don't have to imagine it.  
To wonder what it'd feel like.  
I'm experiencing it right here and now.  
She's actually letting me.  
She put my hands right here.  
She wants my hands here.  
She wants to feel my hands on her skin.  
She silently asked for me to feel it.  
Used her hands instead of the words.  
Silent permission.  
She's giving me that permission.  
She's allowing me too.

 

"I was spot on when I said you were delightful because you are, but I also think you're absolutely exquisite" Bernie whispered tenderly into the brunette's ear that she'd not long been up close with, even her ears were cute, let's face it all of this woman was.  
"Your....your hands feel nice against me" came the shy but sincere whisper into Bernie's ear from the woman in her arms, this sentence making Bernie slip her arms around Serena even more, her hands now against the skin on the small of the brunette's back as she held her close.  
"You're precious Serena, very precious" kissing the side of her head and then giving her a gentle squeeze, breakfast for the moment forgotten by them both, their minds otherwise occupied in the bubble of the embrace they were both in stood in the middle of Bernie's kitchen.


	22. Chapter 22

Medical professionals.  
The ones that give out advice and help in us looking after ourselves.  
Health advice and treatment.  
Keeping us well or doing their best to fix us if we're not.  
It seems ironic that when they're poorly themselves they either deny it or try to soldier on and just carry on.  
Just like a certain brunette had taken upon herself to do this morning.

 

Moving into AAU from her office, Bernie greeted a couple of nurses' she saw before frowning as she heard someone coughing in the office, pausing at the side of the office and peaking through the blinds to where she caught sight of a certain brunette, Serena closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead after she'd sneezed a couple of times.  
Tapping lightly on the door a few seconds later she moved into the office, the brunette looking up as she saw her.  
"Hey" Bernie smiled, seeing the brunette give her a forced smile, trying her best to look happy and fine. "Are you ok?".  
"I'm fine why?".  
"You don't look well, you look a little pale and under the weather".  
"It's just a headache or something, I'll be fine".  
"Famous last words eh?" Bernie replied, taking one of the visitors seats, her eyes wandering over the other woman's clearly unwell and pale face, this a big sign to Bernie that she wasn't well, also the fact Serena's eyes weren't as sparkly as they usually were, they seemed tired, worn out.  
"What's that meant to mean?" frowned the brunette, not seemingly happy or taking on board what Bernie meant.  
"Just that it seems like it'd be something you'd say a lot, you know because I sense that you usually soldier on through things like this and just get on with it regardless of how crappy you feel" Bernie explained, Serena Campbell didn't seem the type of woman to want to give into what she probably considered 'just a cold', but from what Bernie was seeing it wasn't just a cold and the brunette wasn't feeling good at all, she considered herself quite a good judge when it came to the brunette even after just a short period of time.

 

She tries to just carry on.  
Not actually admit to feeling like shit.  
Not wanting to admit defeat as it were.  
It doesn't matter that she does actually feel awful and want to go home, or need to go home she'd still say she's fine.  
Well Serena Campbell I don't think you are.  
I think you're poorly.  
Feel like shit and need to go home.

 

"I'm fine Bernie" rubbing her forehead, her facial expression not quite catching up and matching the words she was saying, typical Serena.  
"Ok then" Bernie replied simply, rising from her seat and leaving the office, closing the door behind her, heading over to the nurse's station, glancing around for Raf and or Fletch, spotting them both coming away from dealing with a patient.  
"Raf, Fletch, can I have a word please?".  
"Yeah sure" they both replied, moving to the side of the ward where it was a bit more private to talk where there wasn't any patients and other staff.  
"What do you think of Serena today?".  
"Well I think she seems poorly and shouldn't be here" Raf replied, having seen the ashen face of the vascular surgeon when she'd first come in this morning.  
"Yeah she did look a bit peaky and pale this morning boss I must say, she just went straight into the office, closed the door and sat down" Fletch added, people sometimes might have thought that he didn't see certain things or notice things about people, but he noticed more than they give him credit for, he knew and saw more than some might think, his heart was definitely in the right place.  
"I agree with you both, but getting a certain someone to admit anything well, that's a bit different. Look if I could get you both some help on the ward for the rest of the day and maybe the next couple of days, do you think you'd be able to manage? She needs to go home and stay off for a few days, I can be here tomorrow to help out and cover for her, so it's mainly today that's the issue" knowing what she was asking them and letting them have the chance to say no if they didn't feel able to cope, she'd never put her staff and colleagues into a corner they felt pressured into.  
Looking at each other both men nodded and then turned to smile at Bernie.  
"Yeah that's ok boss we could manage today with a few pairs of extra hands" Fletch smiled, feeling that Bernie was worried about the other woman, sensing that the blonde cared a great deal about her co lead, maybe a bit more than a friend, given the lengths she seemed to go to in order to help the brunette, but well if that's what she wanted to do and she liked Serena that much then who was anyone else to say any different, from the bits Fletch had heard or gathered over the few years of working with Bernie, the blonde hadn't had the easiest time with love and had been through the ringer more times than Fletch thought she should have been given how nice a person she is, so if Serena made her happy then that was all that mattered.

 

Here goes seconds out round two.  
Get ready to go home soon Campbell.  
Because you're not well enough to be here and working.  
You need to go home and I'm going to be the one to take you there.

 

After using the phone in the smaller office on the ward that some of the nurses sometimes used, Bernie rang around the hospital to inform the different people and arrange the cover she needed, it was only for today and she would be in tomorrow so it shouldn't be that difficult for them all to manage between them, hell she'd managed with Serena when they had less staff and hardly any cover, so with more of them in they should be able to cope until tomorrow, anyway either way they'll have to make do whilst she took care of Serena and made sure she got home and rested.  
Opening the door to the office again revealed Serena on the other side, the brunette having been sat back in her high backed office chair with her eyes closed, opening them as she heard the door, brown eyes looking straight at the blonde in the room with her who had now closed the door.  
"Coat on and home for you hm?" Bernie questioned softly, seeing the pale face still looking back at her, not saying anything for a few seconds before Serena gave a little nod.  
"But what about.." Serena started as Bernie had picked the vascular surgeons coat up from the stand behind her and opened it for Serena to put her arms into.  
"I've sorted it" she murmured gently. "Now come on, you need to be home and resting" passing the brunette her handbag and then following her out of the office and down to the car park, guiding her to her own car, this causing Serena to half turn and frown at her in confusion.  
"I'm driving you home in my car, your car will be fine here for tonight and I can drop it off for you tomorrow or whenever you'd like me to, but for now I'm taking you home seen as you're too poorly to drive yourself and I'd rather you rest in the car and I drive so I know you're safely home" moving around to the front passenger door and opening it for the other woman, then closing it when she got in.

 

Arriving at Serena's house, Bernie pulled the car into the drive and then proceeded to help Serena out of the car and into the house, guiding the tired brunette to sit on her sofa after helping her take her coat off and hanging it up in the hallway for her. Wearily sat looking at her hands, Serena raised her eyes to the woman sat beside her on the sofa.  
"I know....I know I'm not well, but....but I don't want to be alone".  
"I didn't have any intention of leaving you alone whilst you're unwell if you didn't want me too" Bernie replied, her brow creasing into a soft frown when she saw Serena's eyes fill up and the brunette get tearful, a mixture of feeling unwell and vulnerable because of feeling unwell in front of the blonde for the first time, her never having seen Serena like this before.  
"Hey now, it's ok, I'm here, let's get you upstairs and get your pyjamas on, make you a bit more comfortable, then maybe bring your duvet down here for a little bit?" Bernie suggested seen as it seemed a bit warmer downstairs at the moment and there was a fire that was a centre piece in the living room that'd no doubt keep them warm, seeing Serena nod, getting to her feet she helped the brunette to hers, both of them heading upstairs.  
The bedroom was similar to what Bernie imagined, the fresh cream walls, big king sized bed, freshly washed bed covers, fitted wardrobes, grey carpet and en suite bathroom, a big TV not that dissimilar to Bernie's mounted on the wall a little way away from the bed, the room all neat and tidy, it was a big bedroom, but big in an airy and comfortable space, homely that was the word.  
"Pyjamas?" Bernie asked, seeing the brunette point to one of the sets of drawers on one side of the room near the wardrobe, the second one Bernie opened revealed her nightwear, the blonde deciding on a duck egg blue pair of pyjamas with white spots over the loose fitting bottoms, the t shirt plain blue, bringing them over to where Serena sat on the edge of the bed, the other woman opening her eyes as she heard Bernie. "Here we go, can you manage?".  
Serena lightly shook her head. "But you'll...you'll see me" knowing the other woman hadn't ever seen her without any type of clothing on and that she needed Bernie's help, but not knowing what the blonde's reaction to her body and seeing her might be.  
"Does it matter that I'll see you, it's only you and I hmm?" helping Serena to her feet and then removing the blouse from her shoulders and putting it in the nearby wash basket, Serena in just her trousers and camisole top. "Can you do the rest or would you like me to help, I can always step outside" giving her the option and not wanting her to feel any unnecessary stress and pressure.  
"Your help please, it's just...you might not like what you see that's all I'm going to say" watching as she was helped with the rest of her clothes apart from her underwear, very aware of Bernie's eyes wandering over her figure, her hands and arms automatically going to try and cover herself, but being gently grabbed by another set of hands, Bernie's, this action making Serena look up into Bernie's eyes.  
"You've no need to do that, you're beautiful, as is your figure" her words dripping with sincerity and her eyes doing the same as they smiled into Serena's, her thumbs stroking the back of the brunette's hands in small and soothing circles, in a similar way to when they were in the restaurant a few weeks ago and yet again it had the same effect, her heart swelling at seeing the shyness on Serena's face and then how the other woman relaxed at her words and touch, thinking it must be the first time someone had been like this with her when she was in such a vulnerable position.

 

The fact no one has treated this way before is mad.  
She deserves so much.  
And hasn't gotten it from these arseholes that she's been with.  
She needs and deserves looking after.  
And it's something she's going to get from me.  
How anyone couldn't look after her is beyond me.  
I'll look after you Serena.  
Don't worry.

 

Helping the other woman with her pyjamas, catching a little bit more of a glimpse of her curves as they did so, Bernie smiled to herself as she put all of Serena's clothes into the wash basket, following the brunette downstairs with the big duvet in her arms and settling her on the sofa, passing her the painkillers she needed, along with a hot cup of tea, her own coffee in her hands as she made her way to sit on the nearby armchair.  
"Don't sit there sit here" Serena murmured softly, this gaining a nod and a smile from Bernie, who turned back to take the spot that Serena had made for her, her coffee on the nearby coffee table, the brunette then proceeding to snuggle up to the blonde next to her, Bernie wrapping her arms around Serena and holding her close, gently kissing the top of her hair as she did so, feeling the brunette relax in her arms as Serena's eyes closed and she drifted off to sleep, unaware of Bernie looking down and watching her as she did so, smiling to herself as she leaned down and very gently kissed Serena's forehead being careful not to wake her.  
"Well it seems those painkillers, pyjamas and tea had the desired effect doesn't it eh, someone didn't take long to fall asleep after claiming that they weren't ill for most of this morning" giving a small scoff at how Serena had tried to convince Bernie that she wasn't ill when she'd seen her in the office.

 

She doesn't trust many.  
Not had many reasons to trust many I suppose.  
But she trusts me.  
She offers this to me.  
She has built her trust with me.  
And this was shown again and added to tonight when she was getting changed.  
How on earth she could think I wouldn't like what I saw or tried to hide herself I don't know.  
My god she's beautiful.  
One of the most, if not the most beautiful woman that I've ever seen.  
Being able to see her undressed down to her underwear like that.  
Well.  
My mind was blown.  
But blown because of how stunning she looked.  
About being able to see her in the flesh.  
In her flesh.  
Just in her underwear.  
Bloody hell woman.  
You're gorgeous.  
I know I thought this before, but it's tenfold now.  
It's so much more now.  
And I'm going to keep telling you.  
Keep telling you the truth.

 

"I'm here" she whispered when Serena stirred in her arms, the brunette mumbling something Bernie couldn't quite make out, the cold obviously making her dream that bit more." You're ok, just relax and sleep" she reassured, this seemingly enough to make the other woman settle back down, nuzzling into Bernie as she did so.


	23. Chapter 23

There's something about when you're alone.  
At night or any other time.  
At home.  
After work.  
You think.  
You take stock.  
You mind works.  
Goes over things.  
Thinks of people.  
People close to you.

 

This was what was happening with a certain brunette now, sat on her sofa having taken a few days off to recover more from her cold, the memory still fresh of Bernie taking her home and them both snuggling on the sofa.

 

This is something no one had done for her before, they'd not taken much concern when she'd been ill before, they'd just left her to do whatever she wanted to do or say in regards to being ill, not really made an effort to comfort her because why should they? Why should they make the effort it was only her after all.  
It was usually Serena making the effort, her checking on them, making sure they were ok, probably something to do with the doctor side of her and because she cared, she cared so much, hell one of them she loved, she loved quite a bit, she didn't expect to but she did and this is probably one of the reasons why it hurt when she was let down, taken advantage of, left in the gutter in a manner of speaking. But then Bernie, she saw Bernie when she'd first come to Holby, the way she was with the staff, the patients, with everyone, so easy going yet professional, attractive, just herself and nice with it at that, not a fake nice that changes when she goes into an office, or her office, or out of the ward, but a genuine nice to everyone unless someone crossed her and then she'd lay down the law, and she was fair, she found the blonde to be a fair person, everyone got a chance and got themselves some slack given to them, just like Serena had, Bernie hadn't swallowed the tough and sometimes slightly cold exterior that Serena had worn when she'd first appeared in Holby, she'd seen past the facade and discovered she could see the real Serena underneath it all and after a bit of effort and apologising on the brunettes side the other staff seemed to be seeing it too, something that Serena herself liked.  
And now here she was sat thinking about the woman herself, thinking about how much she had begun to trust her, trust her compared to people in her past, believe in the other woman, rely on her in certain ways, open herself up bit by bit to her because she feels she can and Bernie will be there for her, the blonde proving herself true to her word and towards Serena at the same time.

 

Looking down at her phone in her hand, her finger hovering over the number of Bernie, she glanced to the clock on the phone and then Bernie's number again, after a couple more seconds she pressed the screen and rang the other woman, hearing the dial tone at the other end two and then three times before it stopped.  
"Hello there you" came the familiar voice down the phone.  
Bernie's voice.  
This immediately causing a smile to spread across Serena's face, just like it always did.  
"Hello" she smiled down the phone, oh how she loved hearing that voice. "I just rang because....because I wanted to hear your voice and...and I was...was missing you" taking a breath after she'd said it, not sure of Bernie's reaction.  
Sat on her own sofa at home in her pyjamas after finishing work half an hour or so ago, Bernie's face erupted into a grin as she heard the words, the words making her heart swell that bit more.  
"Well...I'm very happy to hear those words and your voice too because guess what?".  
"What?" Serena replied.  
"I'm missing you too" Serena feeling her body relax and her wide smile return, snuggling down into her throw and cushions she was led under and against on the sofa, the words from the blonde adding to her feeling that little bit more cosy inside. "How are you feeling?".  
"Better than I was a couple of days ago, it seems these few days off have done me some good after all".  
"I'm glad you are, you've definitely needed them to get better, it's been the best place for you, not in the hustle and bustle of AAU whilst you were poorly".  
"It's...it's been odd not seeing you these past few days, I don't like it much" having not seen Bernie since she brought her home, the blonde having worked every day since, helping out on AAU and doing her deputy CEO duties, plus meetings and paperwork, trying to keep it all going whilst Serena recovered, she'd rather the brunette was at home getting better and she steer the ship here than the other woman be in work when she wasn't well enough, Serena's health was more important, work would still be here when she was better.

 

"I've not liked not seeing you either" Bernie confirmed, frowning lightly as she heard a sigh down the phone.  
"Serena?".  
"Yeah?".  
"What is it?".  
"Nothing".  
"It's clearly not nothing, what's the matter eh?" wanting to know what the matter was and help if she could.  
"It sounds silly...it sounds silly but I've missed you, I've missed seeing you, all because of this stupid cold, and it's meant you've had to do it all at work and I've not been there to help you, I've been stuck here, so it's been extra work for you, when I've been led here doing nothing and not seeing you at the same time" the annoyance at not being well and not seeing Bernie at the same time bubbling up the emotions in the brunette, causing her to feel upset.  
"Hey now hey, you being poorly isn't something that could be helped, it's just one of those things, it's no big deal, we all get ill from time to time, it just so happens that this time you've unfortunately caught the cold. Would you like me to come round, would that help you?" sensing the brunette might want her there with her, and she wanted to see Serena too, how could she not want to see the brunette.  
She nodded to herself as she held the phone to her ear, not that Bernie could see her nodding, yet she did it all the same.  
"Yes" came the single worded reply, like it was going to be any other reply, of course it'd help her, Bernie and seeing her always helped the brunette.  
"Then I'll be round very soon, get the kettle on Campbell" Bernie smiled down the phone, hearing a familiar soft chuckle grace her reply, this only widening her smile as she hung up the phone and put it into her pocket, destination Serena's.

 

Settling down next to the brunette on the sofa just like she had the other day, Bernie smiled at the image that was happening right now, the two of them together, the fire roaring, a throw being shared between the pair of them, empty mugs on the coffee table, some TV programme on low in front of them, she wasn't sure what it was called again, but she didn't really care, the programme was irrelevant, what was relevant was this, right here and now, the woman snuggled into her arms, the flowery, fruity yet clean scent of Serena's hair travelling up her nose, the softness of her hair against her cheek, this was what mattered, this was what it was all about and more importantly who it was all about, them, just them two.


	24. Chapter 24

Standing in Serena's kitchen the next morning, both of them having fallen asleep on the sofa, Bernie being awake first and deciding to make coffee for them both. The sun streaming through the windows Bernie smiled to herself at how homely it all was, how comforting, how organised yet relaxed, very Serena in the fact it was her domain, her kingdom, the place where she relaxed, took time for herself out of work, it was just Serena.

 

"I thought I smelt coffee" the voice from behind her said, causing her to turn round to see Serena stood in her pyjamas looking straight at her.  
"Yeah, I thought I'd make some for us so you'd have a mug ready when you woke up" motioning to the two mugs on the kitchen work top, Serena looking to where she was pointing and then back at the blonde, a tense expression gracing the brunette's face.  
"How long will you do this for?" Serena said out of nowhere, this causing the blonde to frown in confusion at what she meant.  
"Huh, do what for?".  
"This, coming over due to my 'issues' or because of the way I am, how long until you get bored, because I know you will, you'll get bored of me being a pain, you'll get fed up of me being needy or whatever you'd like to call it. You'll find some other woman who is better than me, doesn't cause the hassle I do, a younger model maybe, someone who doesn't cause you as much grief, someone easier, someone not like me basically" she scoffed at her own speech. "And then I'll be back to square one, back to where I probably belong because of who and how I am, back to being alone, on my own, not bothering anyone".  
Bernie narrowed her eyes as she listened to Serena speak, or should that be talk shit.

 

What the hell?  
Where's this come from?  
All because I come round because she needs and needed me to, wanted me to?  
Because I care enough to do this for her.  
To be here because she wants and needs me to.  
She thinks I'll get fed up of her.  
Get bored of her.  
Just like those in her past have.  
Those losers that didn't deserve any of this woman's time and effort.  
Because that's what they are.  
Losers.  
Every single one of them.  
Losers who lost her.

 

"What...why would I want to leave, what possible actual 'real' reason or reasons would or could I have to leave you, just because those other morons have been stupid enough to leave you, I'm not because I see you, I see how much of an amazing woman you are...".  
"But I'm not, I'm not, I'm pathetic aren't I, too needy, what's the word...cold, hard, not very forthcoming when it comes to expressing myself vocally or physically..".

 

The rant has begun.  
I've hit a nerve.  
The nerve of caring about her.  
One she's not used to.  
One that doesn't usually get triggered because people have left.  
Duped and then dumped her.  
That's the norm for her.  
Whereas this.  
This is different.  
Different territory.  
A different approach for her from someone.  
From another woman.  
One who actually gives a damn.  
Someone who wants to stay around.  
Likes being around her.  
Someone who understands her.  
And understands why she is the way she is at the moment.  
Me.

 

Taking a breath as she listened to Serena rhyme off the reasons she didn't like herself or why Bernie probably would walk out and get fed up of her, Bernie then went to move away from the kitchen counter.  
"I'll be right back in a minute" needing the toilet and thinking it'd give the brunette a chance to get her angst out of her system and then calm down in the time she'd used the bathroom and then returned.  
Seeing the blonde move away from the work surface and not quite hearing what she'd said, Serena's eyes widened and she reacted to the seeming departure of the other woman, a switch flicking in her brain at the image in front of her.  
"No!" she croaked, swallowing to try and moisten her mouth and throat again after she'd gone off on a tangent for the last couple of minutes, the sudden reaction making Bernie half turn back to her.  
"No?" the blonde frowned in confusion at the single word out of the other woman's mouth, not quite sure of the context of it, seeing Serena nod. "I don't quite follow".  
"No, don't...don't go" Serena managed to croak out, her fists balling and then relaxing at her sides in tension, the blonde flicking her eyes to them and then up to the other woman's face, brown eyes looking bigger than they usually did at that exact moment, her chin and bottom lip starting to quiver as she looked at Bernie.  
"I'm not going, I was going to the toilet and I thought it'd give you a chance to calm down at the same time, my keys are on the side there see?" pointing to the bunch of keys on the work surface in the exact same place where she'd left them last night, showing Serena so that the other woman had more evidence of the fact that she wouldn't leave, that if she was leaving then she'd have already had her keys in her hand, not leave them in the kitchen with the brunette. "I wasn't going to leave, but...but maybe you could cut me some slack like I have with you, take me for me, I'm me, I'm not those idiots in your past, if I wasn't happy or whatever then I'd tell you, I'd tell you, put us both in the clear so we knew where we stood and that would be that, I'd not mess either of us about. But there's no problem here for me, unless there is one for you?".  
Serena silently shook her head, trying to hold back the tears, not wanting to cry on taking in what Bernie was saying.  
"N...No, I just...I'm on...on different ground here, new ground I suppose, the best ground with another woman I've ever been on, because of how you are with me, how you seem to understand me, how you treat me, it's different for me and I..I get scared because....because of how much I've started to like you, how much I do like you".  
"Well it just so happens that I like you a lot too and if I didn't feel this way or feel this was going anywhere, a good somewhere, somewhere that I hope continues indefinitely, if I didn't think and feel this way I'd just say, I'd not waste your time, not waste my own time because what would be the point, it'd be pointless and mean. But...I feel it's not a waste, that none of this is, and I'd like it to continue in this direction, if you would too?" wanting to give the other woman a chance to voice her opinion and a get out if that's what indeed she wanted, but hoping and thinking she'd got Serena's feelings right and that they were the same as hers.  
The brunette nodded, nodded in agreement, nodded that Bernie had gotten it right, that she did feel the same.

 

She is serious.  
Serious about this between us.  
Wants it to continue.  
Isn't fed up of me.  
Isn't like the idiots I've been with in the past.  
She's the opposite.  
She's oh so different.  
She's the best I've ever had.  
That I'll ever get.  
But if I don't cut her some slack.  
Then she'll leave after a bit.  
She'll reach her limit.  
Reach that limit and leave.  
And I couldn't blame her.  
Come on Serena.  
Give the woman a break.  
Trust her.  
Enjoy her.  
Enjoy this between you two.

 

Saying nothing Serena moved towards Bernie, standing in front of the blonde who'd now fully turned to face the brunette as she'd been speaking, looking over Bernie's face she still said nothing, her bottom lip and chin beginning to quiver again, her brown eyes filling up seeing Bernie looking back at her, waiting for her to speak and to hear what she wanted to say.  
"I...I'm so..so sorry" the tension and emotion etched all over her face, brown eyes wide like before as she waited for the blonde to say something, anything, hopefully something positive.  
"Come here" were the two simple words that left the blonde's lips, followed by her arms wrapping around Serena, the brunette putting her own around Bernie's waist and snuggling into her. "Shhhh, it's all ok, everything is ok" she reassured softly, giving the other woman a gentle rock as she held her to help soothe her, feeling the brunette tighten her grip of Bernie that bit more as she did so.


	25. Chapter 25

Breezing back into the ward having been in theatre for the last couple of hours it taking her a bit longer than expected, leaving Bernie flying solo which the blonde didn't mind, she liked mixing her work up between deputy CEO duties and her co lead role on AAU, Serena moved through the doors, smiling at one of the nurses' and then turning left to the office, opening the door and immediately being hit with a floral smell, a smell of what smelt like flowers, her eyes being drawn to the bunch of flowers that were sitting in a vase in between the desks near the wall, running her eyes over them.

 

Flowers.  
They're quite nice.  
Bernie has flowers.  
Flowers from someone.  
Someone has bought her flowers.  
And they're now in the office.  
Their office.

 

"They arrived when you were in theatre for me, they're from the family of that old lady that I helped the other day, the one that'd had that nasty fall and was frightened, who didn't want treating but I managed to talk her round, that family, the card is next to them if you'd like to read it?" whilst still sitting in her chair and looking at her computer screen, a half glance at the brunette as she had come into the room was all Bernie needed in that instance to mention the flowers and where they'd come from, knowing this would be all that Serena would need to calm her, she was like that with Bernie, she calmed quickly, it was like the blonde had a secret code that enabled her to tap into the brunette's calm side, the side that listened, listened to the blonde and took on board what she was saying, believed her and believed in the blonde herself as a woman, probably much more than she'd believed anyone else before in her life Serena Campbell didn't believe many, but she believed Bernie Wolfe.  
"How did you....? the look of surprise over the brunette's face as she turned to look at the other woman.  
"Because I know you quite well" was Bernie simple reply, adding. "I see women and men looking at you when we've been out you know, and I'm not the keenest on this observation even if you don't see them, I don't particularly want them looking as much as they do because you're out with me or whatever, but I also acknowledge the fact that you're a highly attractive woman so I'm not surprised that they look at you, as well as the fact that on these occasions I've seen them looking that you've been out with me which makes me feel proud and also quite smug because I'm like yes you can look but the woman herself is out with me, not you but me" her expression softening as she spoke of feeling proud and smug when Serena was out with her, the brunette with a soft smile over her own face as she looked to see the blinds of the office were closed, saying nothing as she moved to the seated blonde and stole a soft and tender kiss from her, this enticing a smile from Bernie against the kiss.

 

With the rest of the shift passing serious emergency cases free, both women left the hospital on time, which itself was a welcome treat, it was nice to be able to do this and just do your shift hours and then leave, heading for a late lunch after a quick discussion in the office as they were getting their coats and bags that they were going to make the most of the finish on time from work and go and have a nice late lunch together.  
And a nice lunch it was, a quaint, small and nice bistro down one of the cobbled side streets in the city centre that served lovely food, nice drinks and had a nice atmosphere, perfect for a lunch with the person who you were dating, if dating was the word for what they were doing, dating at their age, is that what you did, is that what it was called, it seemed to fit their situation and wasn't an offensive way to describe it.

 

They always seemed to have a nice time when they went out for meals together, it was so relaxed, so calm, they had laughs, good conversation and good food, what more could you want from a meal with someone you liked, someone you were highly attracted to?

 

After eating their food and then having another drink each, they'd decided to leave their cars at work until they were back in, it wasn't that often they got an afternoon finish on time and together recently so they wanted to make the most of it, as the restaurant had steadily gotten busier since they'd first come in and started eaten, their server hadn't had chance to get them their bill yet, leading to Bernie now being stood at the bar waiting for said bill to be totalled up by the young man behind the bar after he'd served another man with some drinks, after touching her card to the reader and then getting her receipt, she had moved to the side to put her card and receipt in her purse.  
"Can I buy you a drink?" came a voice next to her, the offer making Bernie look up and to the woman beside her, a slender, red headed woman Bernie guessed must have been in her thirties, a summer, flowery type dress on and heels, the blonde herself in slim fit jeans and a short sleeved, pale blue t shirt and flat boots on.  
"No, thank you" the immediate and to the point reply from the blonde.  
"Oh go on, just the one" smiled the persistent red head, still standing close to Bernie. "I don't see you having a girlfriend at any of the tables or near you right now" neither of them seeing the brunette approaching from the toilet, having nipped here whilst Bernie said she'd go and pay for their meal and drinks.  
"Yes I do have a girlfriend, she's just nipped to the toilet actually" half turning away from the red head, intending to go to said toilets to find the brunette in question, her eyes widening in shock when stood next to her was the woman herself. 

 

Shit.  
How long has she been there?  
Long enough to hear what we've just spoken about no doubt.  
The look on the brunette's face telling Bernie she had indeed heard her response to the red head.  
She had heard Bernie say that she was her girlfriend.  
That word.  
The g word.  
The g word and the woman Serena Campbell all in one sentence.  
Well not quite mentioning the woman's name but Serena knew full well who Bernie meant.  
And she'd heard her say it to a stranger.  
A stranger trying to hit on the blonde.  
She'd heard it all.  
Shit.

 

"I erm...you heard all that didn't you?" suddenly trying to find the right words to form sentences to find out what the brunette had heard, seeing Serena nod yes she had heard all of the conversation that the two women had just had.  
Double shit, her face, her face says it all, says much more than words.  
"What...what did you think?" by now having moved to the side of the till to speak, out of the way of the other customers.  
"Well...I'm...I'm surprised" was Serena's response and she was surprised, she didn't expect someone like Bernie to say this kind of thing about her, definitely not someone as attractive and nice as the blonde.

 

Surprised.  
Surprised doesn't sound good and her expression wasn't the best either was it?  
A bad surprised?

 

"Is it something you'd like?" Bernie asked, now she was nervous, nervous at the sudden question she'd just posed to the other woman.  
"Well I...me...well..." now it was the brunette's turn to stumble over her words, lose her power of speech.

 

Shit Bernie.  
You've messed this up here.  
Jumped the gun haven't you?  
Said the wrong thing at the wrong time.

 

"I...I got it wrong, I shouldn't have said anything, it's my fault, this...it's all my fault, I'm sorry, excuse me" not waiting for Serena's reply, shoving her purse into her pocket and heading for and then out of the door.


	26. Chapter 26

"Wait...wait Bernie, please" managing to catch up to the exiting back of the blonde out of the bistro, reaching her hand out to grip the forearm of the other woman as she got alongside her, the deputy CEO half turning her face to Serena and then down to look at the floor, her blonde curls covering her face as she did almost like a curtain.

 

Your turn now Serena.  
Your turn with Bernie.  
It seems she's embarrassed or thinks she's gotten it wrong.  
Jumped the gun in this situation.  
Been caught out in some way.

 

"What you said, did you really mean it?" Serena asked, just wanting to confirm that she'd got it right what Bernie had said, what she was hinting at in the restaurant.  
Peeking through her fringe she gave a nod to the brunette, confirming that she had meant it, she did want what she'd hinted too.  
"I just....it just came out, I just said it, and I know, I know that....that we've not been I guess you call it dating long, but it seems it just came out of my mouth and I couldn't help say it when that woman started speaking to me, I didn't want her near me, I wanted her to go away, to go away so I could be near you instead. I understand...I understand if it feels different for you, what I said".

 

Your turn Campbell.

 

"I must say I didn't expect it, but in the sense of it coming from you, never did I think it'd come from the mouth of someone as wonderful as you, but with that being said, I also quite liked hearing you say it to that woman, standing up for you and I in a manner of speaking, and standing up for me is something that no one has done for me before, not until you. I quite liked you saying it in such an official way to that woman and in public too" this seeming to start to reassure the blonde beside her.  
"It...it felt natural for me to say, which is probably why it just came out like it did, came out in front of you unbeknown to me at the time and in front of other people in public too" and it had done, it was almost like her heart engaged first and then her brain followed, her brain catching up when she saw Serena stood next to her.  
"I liked hearing you say it in public too, yes I'm a bit nervous because of my past, but also a good nervous, an excited nervous because it came from you and well, you're so different" giving a soft laugh at her honesty whilst stood with the other woman on the street outside the bistro, this causing Bernie to give a little chuckle of her own at being called different by the brunette, knowing what Serena meant, the brunette's admission making Bernie raise her head fully to look at the woman next to her.

 

Saying nothing she wandered her eyes over Serena's face, looking at how beautiful she was and by god she was beautiful.  
"Does this, does this make us official then?" she whispered gently, hoping she'd got the wording right and hoping upon hope for the answer she wanted to hear.  
This question made Serena smile, the smile getting that bit bigger when she replied.  
"Yes I'd say it does" the brunette replied, her brown eyes shrinking as her smile grew and she flashed it to the blonde, feeling her insides start to grow warm, fuzzy, almost along the lines of a teenager due to never imagining herself in this position ever, especially in finding someone like Bernie and then the woman wanting to be official with her.

 

The amount of users and nasty women she'd unfortunately come across in the past had somewhat made her think that she'd never find someone nice, or that she'd be destined to spend the rest of her life alone, with only the job for company, never did she think that she'd find someone like Bernie, or if she did that the woman herself would already be taken or not interested or attracted to someone like Serena, the fact that Bernie is all those things, is still a surprise, albeit a very pleasant one given the attraction that Serena feels to her and the fact the blonde is just so nice, kind and all of those other things that women in her past have been far from being.

 

Arriving back at Bernie's apartment, the blonde getting both women a glass of wine and then turning on her speaker system, the soft and relaxed music she'd chosen floating outside to where she'd left the balcony door open and a certain brunette was waiting for her, waiting for her by leaning on the railings that surrounded the balcony, looking out over the marina, the nicely and softly lit marina, the street lamps around the edges throwing light onto the top of the water in strips, each portion of light the exact same distance between the next portion, all settled nicely on the still water.  
With both women standing in a peaceful silence for an infinite amount of time, both content to enjoy the others company, Serena then put her now empty wine glass on the outside table, taking Bernie's off her as she did so, returning to the blonde and then leaning back against the railing bringing Bernie to stand in front of her, wandering her brown eyes over the face of the deputy CEO, taking her features in under the soft light being emitted from the inside lights that crept onto the balcony, unable to help herself smile at the blonde woman in front of her, quite a smug smile some might say.

 

"What?" Bernie chuckled at seeing the brunette's smug look plastered over her face, when Serena Campbell looked smug boy did she look smug, no half measures, she definitely looked like the cat that got the cream.  
"Nothing, just looking at you and thinking just how lucky I am right now and how...." pausing mid sentence to bring their faces close together, her breath tickling Bernie's face and lips as she continued with her sentence. "How I'd like...I'd like you to....to make love to me" her voice dropping in volume conveying her want but also her shyness at what she was asking Bernie, also being unsure what the blonde's thought on this might be, after all neither of them had ever posed such a request or a question before, it seemed the atmosphere right there in that moment, with the surroundings and what had happened in the last couple of hours, something took over for the brunette and she let her heart express what it wanted, feeling although shy at asking, there was a degree of comfort because she was with Bernie and it was just the two of them, the sentiment not lost at all on the blonde in front of her.

 

Look at her.  
Look how beautiful she is.  
She's beautiful.  
Beautiful and today she said she wanted to be official with me.  
Serena Campbell has taken a chance with me.  
She's given me that chance.  
One she won't regret.  
I'll make sure she doesn't.  
I'm not like the others.  
And she's certainly not like the others I've been with.   
She's in a different league.  
By god is she in a different league.  
She's way above the rest.  
How can I possibly not want to do what she's just asked.  
Of course I do.  
Of course I'll make love to you Serena.

 

Bernie smiled at the words, hazel nearly disappearing as the smile reached all the way up to them, her own voice a whisper as she replied.  
"I'd like nothing more than to do that, how could I not, just look at you, you're beautiful" capturing the lips of the brunette in a tender kiss, pulling her close against her, feeling Serena's arms around her neck as she did, the gesture making her smile against the kiss, a smile the brunette was returning, both smiles remaining as the blonde released her arms from Serena, replacing this with taking her right hand with her left and leading her inside, across the living room, the door being closed by the brunette, Bernie leading them upstairs to her bedroom, her mind brimming with delicious images of what was about to be seen in front of her, as nice as the images were they were going to be nothing compared to the real thing, this she was positive of.


	27. Chapter 27

Like a dream.  
Something that hadn't actually happened.  
Like it had been dreamt.  
A fantasy.  
A delicious one at that.

 

Led naked on Bernie's bed, the blonde also naked and flush on top of her, covering every single inch of her skin with kisses, not a single part of Serena was neglected in any way as Bernie then came back up for a kiss, her hands unable to break contact with the brunette's skin and curves, these hands then finding a place to rest on Serena's hips as she put her mouth right where the brunette was literally aching for her, pulsating, needing, all of the above tenfold by the time Bernie started to elicit many many noises and moans from the brunette's mouth, pleasure noises she couldn't actually say she'd made before, feelings in her body no other woman had ever made her feel before, Bernie's mouth and tongue doing all kinds of patterns and pleasures to her, which resulted in her coming hard and long against the deputy CEO's mouth, her back arching off the bed and into Bernie's mouth, her breath having been taken away and a film of sweat coating her torso, her mind temporarily transported to some high and faraway place, feeling somewhat fuzzy headed and almost drunk with pleasure, limp with what Bernie had done to her.

 

These were currently just some of the thoughts swirling around her head as she led and looked at the figure next to her, led next to her, facing her and fast asleep, Bernie, the blonde with one hand tucked under the pillow and the other on top of it next to her face, this face one free of tension and stress, peacefully sleeping, Serena smiling as she watched her sleeping, thinking how beautiful the blonde looked and how lucky she felt she was to have someone like Bernie in her life, the other woman being the complete opposite to the other morons and bitches she'd had and been involved with in the past, the fact that Bernie chose her and no one else, even though Serena was pretty sure she could've had her pick of the women out there and out of all those she'd chosen Serena, she'd wanted the brunette and after wanting her it'd led to them being where they are now, both led in the deputy CEO's bed after Bernie had a few hours previously sent her to a place of pleasure she'd never experienced before in her life, what that woman did and could do to her was on another level, the best level, how unselfish Bernie is, how caring, thoughtful, understanding and gentle, just a few things the other woman was besides many others, things she'd never had before in the women she'd dated and been with in the past, yet here they are in this one wonderful woman, a woman who wanted Serena and just here, not her money, her status, her possessions, just her and who she is. It's this kind of settled feeling, this kind of stability that she'd wanted for so long in a relationship and here it was wrapped up in one person, Bernie.

 

"I know that you're asleep but I just want to say that I do enjoy being with you....a lot, especially like this, that you're basically everything I've ever wanted in someone, everything I could've wished for and more, and this makes me want to do my best for you, for us" leaning forward and touching her lips to Bernie's forehead, brushing them softly against the soft skin of the blonde on this part of her head.

 

There was something about being led like this.  
Led with this wonderful woman.  
Naked.  
Skin to skin.  
Being able to feel her body heat.  
The warmth from her.  
Her presence.  
There was no one else around.  
No one to intrude on this moment.  
It was simply them.  
Just the two of them.  
A couple.  
Together.  
The blonde probably being at her most vulnerable right now.  
Fast asleep.  
And fast asleep right next to Serena.  
Being asleep felt like your most vulnerable state.  
The state of being totally at the mercy of whoever you happened to fall asleep near to or next to, especially if said other person happened to wake up before you, just like Serena had right now.

 

Then a mumble.

 

A soft mumble that hadn't come from the brunette, but from the woman beside her, this mumble being preceded by a shuffling, this shuffling closing the tiny gap that had resided between them both and then in sleep she made her way to end up half laying on Serena who had moved onto her back, which the brunette welcomed of course, finding Bernie's head come to rest on her shoulder and the other woman's nose rest against her neck in sleep, one of Bernie's hands come to drape across Serena's stomach and then she settled, settled in a spot she seemed to find comfortable, her breathing slowing again as she drifted back into a peaceful slumber, hearing this noise and change in breathing Serena glanced down to the woman in her arms, as soon as she'd felt Bernie move close to her, she'd wrapped her arms around her, getting once again to feel the blonde's naked skin in her arms, and by god how nice it felt, to have said woman now led naked and asleep in her arms, fully giving herself to Serena in sleep was something else to the brunette, it was a selflessness she'd not experienced being in bed with another woman before, sure she'd slept with other women, but they'd not done this with her, not wanted to snuggle into her during sleep, to be this close to her, they'd just slept together and then fell asleep, usually with their back to her, but Bernie, Bernie had done the opposite, she'd fallen asleep facing her with the smallest of gaps between them, then in sleep she'd shuffled into Serena's arms and was now peacefully sleeping in them.

 

With another gentle kiss to Bernie's forehead, Serena smiled down at the other woman, as she herself gave a little yawn on feeling tired again, before whispering so it could barely be heard.  
"I can feel myself falling for you Bernie" resting her head against her girlfriends and then closing her eyes, quickly joining the blonde in sleep.


	28. Chapter 28

With the blonde deputy CEO having the day off, this concept being a rarity in itself for her, Serena was going to be flying solo on AAU today, her mind starting to get focused for whatever the day might be bringing or whatever she might be walking into this morning when she reached the main doors, parking her car in the car park near the main entrance, she gathered her bag and then locked her car, making her way up the ramp, an ambulance coming roaring around the corner with its light and sirens blaring, obviously bringing in an emergency, it seemed emergencies occurred at anytime of the day or night, there was no specific time for emergencies, they didn't wait for anyone or anything.  
Thinking nothing much of it she made her way up the ramp, her ears catching the conversation of the paramedics who were describing the patient, a woman in her 50's, being knocked down by a motorbike whilst out on a morning run, something made her start taking more notice at these small details, hearing the trolley being brought out of the ambulance and then start to be wheeled where she'd just walked up the ramp, something making her look at the patient as they brought her close to where Serena herself was now stood at the entrance, her eyes suddenly widening as she saw and instantly recognised the figure on the trolley.

 

Bernie.  
Bernie was the woman who'd been knocked down.  
Led there in her running gear.  
Blood on and in her blonde locks and dotted elsewhere on her due to the injuries she'd sustained in the accident.  
This spurred Serena into automatic action.

 

"Take her straight up to AAU!" she ordered getting a surprised look from the pair of paramedics at the sudden order from the brunette. "I'm treating and taking care of Ms Wolfe, so take her straight to AAU" both paramedics nodding at her request and knowing that the vascular surgeon wasn't going to be deterred and they weren't about to start arguing with her, not a chance.

 

After throwing off her coat and bag into her office, Serena leaps into action and organises the AAU and the staff to help her with Bernie, if there were any doubts about her skills as a leader they were being dissipated very quickly right now, all of the staff were jumping to the orders of Serena and being directed to do their various jobs around the ward, with the staff at their various posts Serena is now able to fully have her attention on Bernie and the help she clearly needs.  
The blonde led out on the trolley in front of her clearly fighting the urge to break down and cry heavily, Bernie quite obviously distressed, an overwhelming mixture of pain, shock and feeling vulnerable and at the mercy of her injuries, Serena leaning down to the other woman when the other nurses had gone to fetch some more supplies to clean the deputy CEO up a bit more so they could then assess her injuries and gently reassuring her.  
"It's ok, everything will be ok, I'll get you sorted whilst you're in here, it's alright" gently stroking Bernie's forehead, moving a lock of her hair from her eyes, causing the other woman's breath to hitch in her throat, a few tears slipping down her cheeks, they weren't going to be denied the chance to escape her eyes, too much had happened that morning for that to happen.

 

With Serena having assessed Bernie's injuries and ordered various different tests as well as an X ray, the brunette had left the blonde's side only briefly to chase up and the collect results, she was damned if they were going to take forever and a day in this situation, time to exercise her muscle in rushing through these particular test and results due to them being for the deputy CEO, this did seem to help in getting them through quicker than they may have usually taken, well if they couldn't prioritise their own deputy CEO then something was seriously wrong with the hospital, luckily she didn't have to battle them for these results.  
Results and X rays in hand she made her way back to the side room the deputy CEO had now been moved too, quietly opening the door and seeing the blonde led back on the trolley, her eyes closed, there was something about looking at her like this, a vulnerability to her, at the mercy of her injuries after the accident, relying on Serena to be the one to make her and things better, needing Serena's help, a bit of a turnaround from how things had been over the past few months, it'd been her helping the brunette, but now it was tables turning time.

 

"Results are in" Serena murmured softly as she moved back into the side room not wanting to startled the other woman, Bernie's eyes opening as she heard Serena's voice, the brunette shutting the door behind her so they had some sort of privacy from the rest of the ward.  
"And?" from an apprehensive looking and sounding Bernie, wearing a look of dread and on coming pain since her pain relief had started to wear off, just wanting to be put out of her misery in terms of knowing what was happening with her.

 

Serena's face showing a kind smile as she went onto explain that the blonde had indeed sustained a fracture to her right arm due to her putting her arms out to save herself when she was struck in the accident, whilst she didn't need surgery on the arm it was going to need to be put in plaster for a number of weeks whilst it healed, this also meaning that she was going to be out of action CEO or work at Holby in general for at least a month if not a little while more. Leaving the room briefly she returned with some supplies to properly clean up Bernie's cuts and grazes, she was the one to do this, no one else was going to clean up Bernie Wolfe that was her job. Through the hisses and occasional swear words Serena meticulously cleaned up the other woman's wounds and then said she'd get one of the nurses to prepare for Bernie's arm going in plaster, glancing to the blonde as she heard her sigh.  
"Well this is going to be wonderful then isn't it, I won't be able to do anything for at least a month if not more, bloody brilliant.." the sudden outburst getting Serena's full attention, getting the feeling there was more to come, she was right. "So what about the hospital, who is going to do my job, how can I actually do basic things if I don't have my right hand, I'm that much of a stupid woman that I won't be able to dress myself, wash myself, fucking hell" this small rant being preceded by the blonde balling her good hand into a fist, her jaw clenching and her eyes pooling with frustration and upset, it bubbling up to the surface.

 

"Hey now, maybe that's where I come in hmm.." perching on the side of Bernie's hospital bed and taking hold of her good hand and kissing it, seeing the blonde's eyes threatening to spill the tears they were holding, the kiss seeming to be the straw that broke the camels' back and down the tears came, Serena wasting no time in pulling Bernie into her and holding her close, softly kissing her forehead. "Shhhh it's alright, I'm here, it's going to be alright because I'm going to look after you, I'm going to help you whilst you recover and we're going to get you better and back in here doing the brilliant job that you always do".  
"But...but I don't want to be...be a burden to you" she mumbled through her tears, her voice breaking as she did, leaning that bit more into Serena for comfort.  
"You could never be a burden to me, ever, you're my girlfriend and I want to look after you, it's what you do for each other, when you need help you help each other no matter what kind of help that this maybe and under what circumstances, just like I know that you'd do for me if the tables were turned wouldn't you?" to which Bernie nodded in agreement.  
"Y..Yes".  
"Well then, we'll hear no more of this rubbish talk about being a burden or otherwise because it's nonsense and not true, you could never be anything like this" giving the blonde another kiss on her forehead and cuddling her close, rocking her ever so slightly to try and soothe her some more.

 

Bloody burden indeed Wolfe.  
Nothing of the sort.  
Seems like it's not just me not used to being looked after.  
She isn't used to it too.  
Lets see how we can sort this out slightly in the coming days and weeks.  
It's about time she was looked after, since she's always looking after others.  
It's your turn now Wolfe.


	29. Chapter 29

Bernie led the way into her apartment, Serena following behind with a bag of spare dressings if the ones she'd applied to some of Bernie's more severe grazes and scrapes on her body, Bernie herself wouldn't have bothered, but when Serena Campbell is the one treating your wounds and the patient is her girlfriend then you soon discover you don't really get much say in the matter, and she tells you that you're to have the dressings on even if for a few days, to make doubly sure that no infection or bugs of any minute kind can get into said wounds, then when she's sure that this isn't going to be the case and she's fully satisfied of this fact then you can take them off, these are the instructions you adhere to, for your own benefit and because she cares a bloody lot, of course, that goes without saying, this Bernie knew.

 

Closing and then locking the door behind them, Serena ears picked up the quiet mutterings of Bernie, the blonde grumbling to herself, the brunette being able to make out words in regards to her cast and not being able to drive, the cast hindering her ability to do her normal activities, to be the usual independent Bernie Wolfe.  
"S..Sorry about all this" Bernie started as Serena moved into the kitchen and placed the bag of dressings as well as her own handbag on the kitchen island. "Having to do all of this, drive me home and everything, I'm sure you've got better things to have been doing than all this, sorry for being a hassle to you" seeing the brunette come over to stand in front of her with a soft smile on her face, Bernie dipping her head before raising it a little as Serena started to speak.  
"Behave you, don't talk rubbish like that, because that's what it is, rubbish, rubbish talk. If it was that much of a burden and a problem do you think that I'd be here now?" throwing the question back at Bernie.

 

Bernie knew how much of a independent person Serena was, capable of making her decisions and wasn't afraid of saying no to things she didn't want to do, and it'd be no different in this situation, Bernie Wolfe or no Bernie Wolfe, Serena could decide things for herself and if she didn't wish to do them, then she wouldn't do them.

 

The blonde shook her head as she then replied.  
"No, you'd not because you can make your own decisions in choosing what you do and don't want to do" came the simple reply from Bernie which got a smile from Serena.  
"Exactly right, so less of that rubbish and let's get some food cooking".

 

Oven ticking over with food in and a pan on the cooker, Serena was stood making sure everything was cooking alright, her attention on what she was doing, suddenly hearing a noise behind her from across the room in the living room area, Serena half turned around to see Bernie getting up off the sofa and exit out of her apartment and onto the balcony outside, frowning softly she stayed where she was and watched what the other woman did.  
Pausing on the balcony for a few moments, Bernie then made her way to the edge and leaned onto the edge of said balcony, her good elbow propping her up, then a shift in her body language, a shake, a tremble, Serena able to make out this slight shift from where she stood, turning the heat down under the pan and putting the spoon on the work surface to the side of the cooker as she stepped to the balcony doors, being nearer to the other woman allowing her to hear that the blonde had started softly weeping, a sound that made Serena swallow at the lump that had formed in her own throat.

 

Staying where she was for a few moments longer, she then stepped out onto the balcony itself and then slowly across to where her girlfriend was, Bernie's weeping having turned into crying, on reaching where the blonde was stood, she took up a position to the left of the other woman, very gently reaching her right hand out and placing it at the base of Bernie's back, trying to offer her some physical comfort before she said anything to her.  
"What's the matter hmm?" she enquired gently, watching Bernie start to roughly wipe at her eyes with her good left hand, trying to swipe the tears away in an attempt to not have Serena see them, not that this actually worked.  
"So...Sorry, sorry...for you seeing me like this" her voice cracking from her crying and being somewhat hoarse.  
"You don't have to apologise for anything, what's to do eh?" she tried again, wanting to help in some way and offer comfort, but not being quite sure how to when she didn't fully understand what had upset Bernie.  
Taking a breath to try and calm herself enough to speak and get some words out, Bernie paused for a few more moments before she spoke.  
"It's silly...but...but I feel...I don't know...erm...shook up about what happened I suppose is how I can put it.." frowning at her own description of how she was feeling at the moment or why she'd gotten upset.

 

Yes it could've been a lot worse, thank god it wasn't, but it seemed that it'd caught up with her, made her want to stand there right at that moment and cry, crying not something that was a usual occurrence to Bernie Wolfe, a very seldom one over the past few years, well you didn't cry about things did you, you just got on with them and keep that stiff upper lip, kept it at all costs.

 

"Come here" Serena murmured softly as she watched Bernie get more upset in front of her eyes, wrapping her arms around her as the blonde woman fell into heavy sobs in her arms, it seemed that the events of the past 48 hours or so had caught up to a certain deputy CEO, the deputy CEO that Serena wasn't used to seeing, she was used to the strong and unflappable one, the one that kept the hospital running like clockwork when the CEO wasn't around, the one that always seemed to be able to sort anything in the hospital, the one who didn't falter when needed, the one with no issues, no baggage, always strong and resilient, that was the one everyone in Holby knew, the one they all looked up to in that sense.

 

Guiding them over to the outside sofa on the balcony, Serena sits back with Bernie in her arms, the blonde cuddling into her, feeing Serena start to gently stroke her hair, the motion of the gentle touch starting to help Bernie calm down, her sobbing becoming less intense and more spaced out, a sound that Serena was only too glad to hear, quite happy to just sit with Bernie and continue to stroke her hair since this was something that her girlfriend seemed to find soothing and nice, something that helped her feel more relaxed and at ease, and given the current circumstances it was very much required.  
With her eyes closed she relaxed that bit more into Serena's embrace, the feeling of comfort and safety washing over her, the double team of her girlfriend stroking her hair and holding her close acting as a comforter to Bernie, the brunette leaning down to kiss the top of the trauma surgeons head.

 

"Darling I need to check on the food for a minute" she murmured softly to the woman snuggled into her, not wanting to startle her, raising from the sofa with a more relaxed Bernie beside her, Serena keeping an arm around the small of Bernie's back and holding her close as she moved over to the cooker, the blonde responding by leaning into Serena as she watched what she did, almost like a bit of a role reversal for them both.

 

Food all eaten and enjoyed, kitchen cleaned up, they both retired to the plush living room sofa for the rest of the night, Bernie cuddling up into Serena the minute that they sat down, the brunette glancing down part way through the programme that was on to the now sleeping woman in her arms but doesn't say anything, not having the heart to wake or disturb her, instead she turns the TV volume down and cuddles into her girlfriend more as she continues to watch the programme by herself.  
Boom.  
A big jolt.  
A jolt that could've easily thrown Serena across the room, that if it didn't nearly give her a heart attack.  
The jolt being that of Bernie waking up in her arms and sitting bolt upright, her breathing uneven and rather fast, a light sheen of sweat adoring her brow, little bit of her messy fringe getting caught on her forehead.  
"It's ok, it's ok, everything is alright, just a bad dream" reassured Serena as Bernie looked at her, her eyes still a little bit wide with fright, looking to Serena for comfort, the brunette smiling kindly back at her, kissing her gently on forehead.  
Still saying nothing Bernie silently regained her position against Serena, her eyes now focused on the TV and the programme that the brunette had put on and been watching when she'd fallen asleep, closing and then opening her fists as she felt the sweat on her palms, wiping her hands a little on her t shirt she was wearing before linking her two hands together and continuing to rest against her girlfriend and watch the TV, a silence descending once again on the living room.


	30. Chapter 30

It was inevitable that at some point Serena would return to work on a more regular basis, having managed to bend the rules somewhat over the course of a month or so in terms of working her rota on AAU around when Bernie needed her and making sure that her girlfriend was being cared for properly and things were running smoothly on the ward, it was a good thing that women could multitask, especially when these circumstances had called for the upmost in terms of multitasking on Serena's part, the brunette having managed to make it work, when it came to having to look after Bernie it was going to work and Bernie was going to be looked after by her it didn't matter to the brunette what she had to do and she made it work very well.

 

Then the deputy CEO said she wanted to try to do more things for herself and this became a more prominent feature when the cast was removed from her arm and then it became a case for the physiotherapist to help Bernie get the strength back into her arm, being told that yes it could take several months before her arm was back to normal and the muscle had been strengthened again, this shift of things allowed for Serena to whilst keeping an eye on Bernie in case she was needed whilst the blonde finished the rest of her sick leave, it gave her the chance to focus back on AAU and keep that running smoothly, being able to nip back to see if Bernie was ok when she could and if she couldn't then she'd more often than not ring or text the blonde and make sure she was ok, as hard and as tiring it was she wanted to do it because she wanted to help Bernie, to look after her, more than she had anyone before.

 

Early shift done for the day, Serena made her way to her car and headed out of the car park, destination Bernie's, where else.

 

Letting herself in seen as she had a spare key, not that the blonde minded especially when she'd needed the help she had when she had first broken her arm, being glad of the reassurance that came with someone else being able to get into her place if anything was to happen.  
Moving through the floor door and then into the main body of the apartments downstairs, into the kitchen and living space, her eyebrows raised lightly on finding Bernie asleep on the sofa, the TV on low, balcony doors open with the afternoon sun peeking in, a single glass on the coffee table which Serena collected as she made her way nearer to the sleeping blonde after putting her handbag and coat to the side of the front door, her shoes being slipped off and put next to Bernie's under the coat rack on the wall, unable to help herself give a little tut at seeing Bernie's painkillers being left out on the work surface in the kitchen, the lid not on the bottle but at the side of it, of course Serena took care of this too and screwed the lid back on, leaving the tablets back where Bernie had left them, not quite as bad now.

 

Glancing around the apartment as she moved to the coffee machine near the cooker, Serena shook her head a little at what she saw as the messy areas of Bernie's apartment, thinking the blonde might have attempted to neaten things up a bit since her cast was now off her arm, I know she can't move mountains yet but surely a little bit tidier wouldn't hurt, yes it isn't your apartment Serena, it's Bernie's and maybe she likes things this way, even if the brunette deemed them somewhat more 'messy' than she herself would like or what she thought Bernie might be like, it having been more neat and tidy when she'd first come around and first ever seen said apartment.  
A few clicks of the coffee machine and in the kitchen seemed to be enough to rouse Bernie from sleep, blinking a few times as she pulled herself up from being led on the sofa, blearily looking across the space and into the kitchen at Serena in her just woken up state, the brunette hearing her move and half turn to look at her.

 

"Hello, have you taken painkillers today, just the bottle was opened on the side" Serena asked, watching Bernie nod as she gave a little yawn.  
"Yes, had a bit of pain in my arm today so I took a couple" came the simple answer. "How was your day?" as she stood up from the sofa and stretched a little from being folded and curled up in sleep.  
"It was ok, bit busy first thing but then it calmed down as we got the patients seen to and dealt with, some minor ones so it wasn't too bad" Serena replied, watching as Bernie padded over into the kitchen, dressed in joggers and a loose fitting plain t shirt, her feet bare, the blonde glancing to the brunette as reached her in the kitchen, leaning forward and gently sharing a kiss with her girlfriend, then stopping Serena as the brunette went to continue to make herself a coffee at the machine.  
"I'll do it for you, why don't you go and relax in the bath for a bit since you've been running around all day and I'll have this ready for you when you come down" giving the other woman a little smile as she saw Serena smile back at her at her nice suggestion.

 

Taking up her offer Serena headed upstairs, leaving Bernie in the kitchen, the blonde quickly putting the painkillers into a cupboard and then going back to perching on the end of the sofa, taking a glance around her surroundings as she did, frowning when she didn't see the glass on the coffee table anymore, then her eyes caught it next to the sink in the kitchen, being able to hear Serena upstairs as she sat in almost silence, the only sound being the TV that was still on, on before she turned it off with the remote on the coffee table and then pulled herself to her feet, wearily making her way through the sliding doors and out onto her balcony, leaning on the side to glance out at the surrounding marina taking a deep breath in as she did, waiting for a few moments before half turning and looking back into her apartment, holding her stance for a minute or so and then turn back round to be facing back to the marina, slowly closing her eyes as she did so, the slight breeze moving her hair around her face.


	31. Chapter 31

Cast free.  
Shackle free if Bernie had been asked.

 

The blonde had returned to work, but had been told that she had to be on lighter duties until she settled back into things more and got the full strength back into her arm, which for a certain Wolfe is easier said than done, is there such thing as lighter duties as the second in command of the hospital, according to the powers that be there were, this should be interesting.  
Serena has taken charge of the AAU for the day whilst Bernie was busy with her deputy CEO duties, the blonde having received a few texts throughout the day from the brunette asking after her and making sure she was ok, with Bernie texting back that she was, as well as asking after the brunette and how she was doing, Serena replying that she too was ok, the co lead of AAU suggesting the idea of them both maybe going out for some food after work, this offer being counteracted by Bernie saying unfortunately she can't tonight because she's got a lot of work on and is going to have to stay behind late tonight, mentioning about it being some catching up work too, this being met with an understanding reply from Serena and saying that they can always do it another time, exchanging messages of them missing one another, before they then carried on with their days, at either end of the hospital.

 

A few hours later, Bernie was exiting her office, shutting the door behind her, handbag over her arm, files in her hands, making sure it was locked she was unaware of a presence in the corridor with her.  
"You're leaving late Ms Wolfe" Henrik said, his comment making Bernie turn to look at him.   
"I've had things to do".  
"Not been hiding out in your office all day have you?" he replied jokingly, giving a little smile to the blonde.  
"No! I've been bloody working if you must know!" she snapped back, turning and walking off in the opposite direction from him, the hostile response causing him to stand there with a soft frown on his face, having not expected her to respond this way, a bit puzzled as to why she did.

 

Not acknowledging anyone as she rode the life down to the main entrance, Bernie strode out of the doors, down the ramp and then to her car, handbag in the passenger foot well and the files on the passenger seat, driving straight home, her handbag and files then took their places on the kitchen island, her suit jacket had been put up on its door peg, her shoes kicked off underneath it, the blonde then pouring herself a whiskey and carried it out onto the balcony, the fact that it was now the evening seeming to make things that bit more peaceful and quiet for her, liking the calm of the night air and atmosphere that living right beside the marina brought her, it definitely was that thing that they say about being or living near the water and the sense of calmness that it brings to people, Bernie being one of these people.

 

Downing her whiskey and then grimacing as the liquid smarted her throat as she swallowed it, the blonde headed back inside and to the kitchen where she poured another generous tipple of the brown liquid and took it with her to the sofa, putting the glass on the coffee table when she sat down, retrieving her phone from her pocket and sitting it next to said glass, after a glance around her space she took a large gulp from the glass, waited a few seconds and then drained the remainder of the glass, not that there was much left after the sizeable gulp she'd previously taken, wiping a spot of the alcohol off her lip she put the glass down and inched her way back so she was now sat back on the sofa, her body seeming to relax that bit more as she did this, after a few seconds closing her eyes and feeling herself start to be hugged by the plush shape and material of the sofa, this seeming to help her body relax even more.

 

Then a noise.  
Quite a loud one.  
A shrill one.  
Continuous.  
One that she seemed to recognise.  
It was familiar.  
She heard it a lot.  
A tune.  
A ring tone.  
Her phone?

 

Blinking her eyes open Bernie sleepily glanced around where she was, in her living room of course but it was different, but how was it different?  
Well for a start it was light, light compared to when it'd been dark when she'd first sat down last night. Light now because it was day time, morning maybe?  
Pulling herself up from being led back on said sofa she saw the ringing phone in front of her on the coffee table, forcing her eyes to blink some more she saw Serena's name flashing as the person who was calling her.  
"He...Hello" Bernie mumbled on answering the call.  
"Bernie, where are you? Are you ok?".  
"Where am I...I'm at home why?" covering her mouth with her hand as she gave a small yawn.  
"Why...because it's 8 am and I you should've been in work an hour or so ago" Serena replied, this answer making the blonde look across the room to the clock on the wall, her eyes widening as she saw that yes in fact the clock and her girlfriend were indeed right, it was 8 am, she should've been at work an hour ago, at least!   
"Shit, sorry, I...I overslept, sorry, I'm on my way, give me 5 minutes and I'll be on my way, sorry Serena" listening to Serena mumble about it being ok she was just worried about her and that she'll let the people asking after Bernie that she was on her way into work.  
After hanging up the call, Bernie raced upstairs, quickly changing her clothes and sorting her hair, well as much as was possible with her curls, unruly curls to be more exact, racing back downstairs to collect her bag and files, making sure she had actually locked the balcony doors from last night, rushing to her car and off to work, the bloody pain of oversleeping, fuck.

 

Striding in through the main doors, she heads straight to Pulses, one advantage of being that bit later is that the line for caffeine isn't as long, which in itself is a miracle, well she needed to wake up even more and coffee was the main answer, especially in Bernie's current situation, looking up to see that a certain brunette had gotten herself a coffee at this time too. Serena, who else. Both women then making their way into the lift together, sharing a gentle kiss together, the conversation then moving into the brunette asking if Bernie was ok seen as she was late today, Bernie telling her girlfriend that she was fine she just overslept because of working till late last night and the amount of work she had to get done, having taken files home with her that she'd brought back this morning, the small stack she'd gotten tucked under her arm, this leading to Serena telling Bernie that she's maybe working too hard having not long come back to work after her accident and that it might be an idea for the blonde to take things that little bit more slowly, the two women sharing another kiss as the lift reached the vascular surgeons floor and she headed to AAU, leaving Bernie to ride the life alone up to her own floor with her office on, in the rafters of the hospital then that'd be.

 

Entering her office, Bernie sorted her jacket onto the back of her chair, her bag on the floor, coffee and files onto her desk, then sitting herself into her plush office chair, leaning back into it and letting out a deep breath, closing her eyes as she did so, forcing herself to get ready for the day, well Wolfe you made it, slightly later than planned but you made it, now let's see if we can actually get the day started and it be an improvement on the start that you didn't nearly make this morning.


	32. Chapter 32

Papers.  
Files.  
More papers.  
Papers every fucking where.  
There was at least an Amazon rain forest over this desk.  
At least.

 

Looking over the paperwork on her desk in her study at home, these were just a few of the thoughts that were running through her mind at the moment.  
She sometimes wondered if she did anything else bar paperwork and writing on the days where she was doing her deputy CEO duties, is this all the executives did nowadays.  
Screwing up another piece of paper she put it to the side of where she was writing, adding it to the little pile of other scrunched up balls of paper that had experienced the same fate as the latest one, a little collection of failed attempts to write what her brain wanted to write.  
"For fucks sake Bernie come on sort yourself out, you brought this report home to actually get it done, to finish it" she grumbled to herself, sighing and taking a sip from the glass of whiskey at the side of her and then putting it back down on the desk, taking a little glance at the clock at the bottom right hand side of her computer screen in front of her.  
"Now come on let's get it together, come on" just about to start writing again before her eyes glanced to her phone to the left of her computer screen that had started ringing, Serena's name flashing up as the caller, her pen paused as she watched the name on the screen, after a few rings it stopped, this seemingly being the cue for the blonde to resume her writing, this being repeated a second time and then a third in quick succession, the blonde swallowing as it stopped after the third round of rings, once again continuing to write the report she was currently working on, this working carrying on for the new few hours.

 

Pain.  
Pins and needles.  
Numbness.  
Stiff.  
Back ache.  
Just a few of the symptoms Bernie became aware of feeling, of her body feeling them, and why was she feeling them?

 

After a few minutes of blinking her eyes open she had her answer, she'd fallen asleep on her arms, at her desk, the report sitting finished to the side of the computer screen, said computer screen having put itself into standby mode since she'd fallen asleep but the desk lamp remained on.  
Sighing to herself at the pain of sleeping in such an awkward position, she slowly sat up into a sitting and straight position in her office chair, grimacing as she tried to iron out her back and stretch her muscles to make it slightly less painful, glancing to the time on her phone.

 

5:30am.  
Right we're not having a re run of falling asleep like the other day and therefore being late for work, no we're not.  
We're going to make sure we stay awake.  
We're going to shower.  
Change and then go to work.  
Early this time.  
Quiet time to start the morning.  
A nice time.

 

Leaving her things on the desk in the study she headed into her bedroom and then the en suite, stripping off her clothes and putting them into the wash basket, another job that needed to be done tonight Bernie, washing, then she headed into the shower, letting the warm water cascade over her body and wake her up that bit more, washing and then rinsing her body and hair she stepped out and dried herself off, changing into a fresh shirt and suit, back into the study after drying her hair and making herself look more presentable, phone, files, report and other papers collected from the desk, lamp off, she headed back downstairs, picking up her bag and keys and leaving her apartment, getting in her car and heading for work.  
With her usual spot taken in the car park seen as it was early and no one pinched her car spot, they knew better, arms loaded, she locked said car and then headed up to her office, there was something about being in the hospital at just after 6am in a morning, a peacefulness to the place, not many people around, the changes of shifts just starting to happen, not yet quite hitting the hustle and bustle of the day, a calmness to the building, and that didn't happen all the time so you enjoyed it while it was here.

 

An hour, well not quite an hour, say forty minutes or so, that's how long she'd been sat at her desk before the door opened, no knock or anything just a straight opening of her door, opened by Serena, the last person Bernie expected to be seeing at that time in the morning, it seemed that the brunette was an early riser that morning too, an early riser with quite the stern expression on her face.  
"Seen as you don't answer calls, I'll come and find you instead, I thought you might be in early given the other morning and the late start" Serena stated as she closed the door, her unexpected presence making Bernie drop her pen onto the desk and look at the brunette as she spoke, silent.  
"What's going on Bernie, why have you been ignoring me and my calls, 3 times I rang last night and nothing, absolutely nothing".  
"I've not been ignoring you, not really, I...I've just been busy" the confrontational tone of Serena seemingly enough to wake Bernie's voice up.  
The other woman shook her head at the blonde's answer.  
"Don't do that, don't lie to me, I don't buy that excuse, that working excuse, you've been avoiding me, not talking to me, and putting these things together I believe that there's something else, something else is going on, something that you are very aware of, but I'm very much in the dark with, hence why I'm here at not even 7am in the morning".

 

Bernie shook her head at the statement of her girlfriend, putting her pen down and then starting to rise from her office chair, Serena herself dropping her handbag on the floor as she saw the blonde get up from her chair, coming nearer to the other woman.  
"It's just work...it's been busy" Serena once again shaking her head at the answer, watching Bernie unable to make eye contact with her as she spoke, coming to stand in front of the blonde who had made her way to the front of her desk, leaning against it.  
"I don't believe you Bernie, something else is going on here, something worrying, worrying me" Serena's brow furrowing as she caught a scent of something off the blonde in front of her. "Whiskey" this one word making Bernie raise her eyes from the floor and look at the brunette stood in front of her.  
"Hmm?".  
"Whiskey" Serena repeated. "I can smell whiskey on you, alcohol" her mind starting to do a mental puzzle, as if taking all the pieces of 'evidence' she'd stored in her brain of the way her girlfriend had been behaving recently, the glass in the apartment after she'd gone round to Bernie's apartment after work after her accident, sleeping in the afternoon whilst off work sick, this smell of alcohol being another puzzle piece for her to work with, her eyes narrowing as she thought and thought hard.

 

Not saying another word the brunette scanned her surroundings, her eyes taking in the office, searching, looking, processing, nothing for her over the far side of the office where the table and chairs were, she quickly moved to Bernie's desk and started opening a few of the side drawers in said desk, her swift actions not giving Bernie any time to react to what was happening, like a bloodhound the brunette went for the bottom drawer on the right hand side, moving a few files and training her eyes on a small bottle of whiskey that lead on its back in the bottom of the drawer, gripping said bottle she slowly brought it out of its hiding place, her eyebrows moving to her hairline as she looked at the other woman, the other woman who had now moved away from the desk as she saw Serena go for the bottom drawer, taking up a new position across from the office door against the wall on the other side of the room, as if what was happening was happening in slow motion in front of her in her own office, the blonde's hazel eyes widening in horror as the brunette showed her the bottle, Bernie's legs freezing her to the spot where she stood.


	33. Chapter 33

Silence.  
Utter.  
Total.  
Silence.

 

Bernie was sure that Serena would be able to hear her heart hammering against her chest.  
Surely she can hear that?

 

"Is this the reason I can smell whiskey, eh? Is this what the smell is from?" she asked, Bernie shaking her head silently in response after a few seconds and then her wide hazel eyes hit the floor, not looking at Serena.

 

You're the strong one Bernie.  
You're ex army.  
You're the deputy CEO of Holby.  
The one that people come to to solve problems here.  
The strong one.  
The one who gets on with things.  
That people rely on.  
That's how it's always been.  
It's never been the other way round.  
It isn't allowed to be is it?

 

Still holding a frown over her face at her discovery in her girlfriends desk, Serena looked over at the other woman, wandering her eyes over her, the way Bernie's face looked pained and conflicted, some internal battle going on behind the hazel eyes, a battle Serena wasn't privy to, didn't have a clue about, was in the total dark as to what was actually happening here and how serious it very well maybe.  
Placing the whiskey bottle on the desk, Serena made the decision to start stepping slowly towards her girlfriend, well she felt she had to do something seen as Bernie wasn't moving or saying anything herself and hadn't since Serena had found and then shown her the bottle.

 

"Darling....Darling I want to help you, help you in any way I can, to lighten whatever load you may be carrying at the moment, such a load that has made you feel like you need to turn to alcohol. I care about you so much and would do anything for you and to help you, but I can only do this, or start to do this if you let me, if you let me in, if you help me understand what the matter is, if you let me be there for you like I want to be. I just want to help you sweetheart" the brunette pleading with her girlfriend and being completely honest with the blonde about how she feels and what she wants to do in terms of helping the other woman, still unsure as to what was actually going on with the woman not three feet away from her, all she knew was that Bernie had been seeking some form of solace in alcohol, burying herself in work and avoiding her, the question was why?

 

All that care.  
That genuine compassion.  
That outpouring of wanting to help.  
To help her.  
To wanting to be there for her.  
To do anything she could for her.  
All the things she'd never been used to.  
They were so different for Bernie.  
Very different.  
But it seemed that it was the fact that they were different, that affected the blonde.  
Caused her to break down.  
That dam of emotions and pain to break its banks.  
Break down in front of the brunette.

 

This break down coming in the form of tears, lots of tears, heavy sobs, sobs that wracked her body, soul wrenching sobs, ones that were so full of emotion that they took the strength from her legs, unable to hold her up anymore, the entirety of the burden and weight she'd been carrying physically making her legs buckle.  
Seeing this happening right in front of her, Serena was quick to act and move, closing the gap between them both and taking a tight hold of her girlfriend, her arms strong around her.

 

"I've got you, I've got you" were the soft words being repeated by the brunette, what else were you meant to say to someone who'd reacted as Bernie had, what else were you meant to say when you weren't sure what the actual problem was?  
With her arms wrapped around the blonde, Serena then gently palmed a hand up and down Bernie's back, whispering words of comfort to her, feeling a lump form in her own throat at seeing the other woman so upset and distressed in her arms, a side of Bernie that she'd never seen before, usually it was her getting upset, breaking down, crying onto Bernie's shoulder, not the deputy CEO and maybe this was part of the problem, maybe because the other woman hadn't broken down, or gotten upset, maybe carrying all this pain and emotion inside due to whatever the problem at the moment was, this was why she'd felt the need to turn to alcohol and hide it all from Serena, to soldier on as it were, oh the irony given the blonde's previous employment history.

 

"Sweetheart just tell me what the matter is, what's happened, what's causing all this, please let me help you" Serena once again pleaded as she led them both over to and then onto the sofa on the far side of Bernie's office, thinking that it was better option for them both at the moment compared to being stood up where they were, especially given the state Bernie was in, it seemed the blonde needed to be sat down and fast before any talking was done in any form.

 

Nothing.  
No words.  
They weren't needed.  
And couldn't be spoken by Bernie.  
Not right now.

 

The blonde in her arms was still crying, but these seemed to be lessening as Serena held her, the comfort of her embrace seemed to be helping the blonde, comforting her, soothing her.  
So this is what was going to happen, she was going to sit here just like this for however long she had too, however long it took until Bernie had calmed down and her tears had subsided enough for the blonde to actually vocalise something in regards to what had caused all this in the first place.  
It seems that the waiting game had begun, begun for both of them, the question is what on earth could be the cause of Bernie's distress, with all manner of possibilities running through her head, Serena sat further back onto the sofa, the calming blonde close against her.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning, has mentions of past traumatic incidents for one of the characters, but isn't graphic.

How and if to start.  
To start speaking.  
To find the strength and words to actually speak.  
That was currently the dilemma Bernie was facing or should that be battling.  
Battling was appropriate.

 

Sniffing a few times she tried to steady her breathing, steady it enough to actually speak or try to at least.  
Then it began, Bernie made the first attempt, opening her mouth and then closing it again, before she made a second attempt to actually vocalise something to Serena.  
Taking a breath she began speaking albeit quietly.

 

"The army, being in it could be tough at times....it could be hard, life...life was tough sometimes and it could be made tougher or less tough depending on if you had a 'good' team or at the very least 'good' team members who pulled their weight and who actually worked together as a team. At the start...and for a few years after this is was ok, things for fine for years, the team worked so well, everyone got on, we had fun despite the crazy places and circumstances we found ourselves in, you had to have fun, fun of some kind otherwise you would go mad, especially in war zones. But then...then things...things changed a little bit, there were a few changes and team members got changed and then we got a couple of new faces. A woman came into our team and we struck up conversations, she got a bit...flirty I supposed you'd say, people, a couple of the new guys had...well suspicions about her and me sexuality wise.." taking a breath to compose herself again, moistening her lips and swallowing to try and activate more saliva so she could speak.

 

It was hard being a Major, being the one who should be leading by example, this made this bit harder when said new team member woman made friends with you and you got close quite quickly, quickly because of the circumstances and because you just seem to have things in common, add in this woman then flirting with you and the fact that you both seem to be gay women, but silently gay and not shouting it from the rooftops, but that people close to you probably could see it, they always could. This flirting and mutual attraction seemed to trigger the jealousy that bit more for the new guys, because they wanted the woman's attention and she was giving it to Bernie, giving it all to Bernie, giving her something that they wanted and no matter what they tried with her they didn't seem to be able to get past being team mates and anything platonic with her and the one thing or person who seemed in their minds to be causing this was Bernie, not the fact that the woman might not like either of them or she might not be attracted to men, but in their heads they singled the Major out as the cause of their stifled conquests of their woman team mate and getting to try and pull her, have some sexual contact with her.

 

"One...one night I was just getting ready to finish my shift, she'd been helping me sort bits out in the medical tent because I'd had a lot on that day and needed an extra pair of hands, they both....they both came in, they obviously knew that we were both in there, hence them appearing when they did, choosing their moment I suppose. They started trying to touch her, saying inappropriate things to her, things that she didn't like nor want, so I stepped in, intervened, tried to stop them and it turned quickly into a scuffle, I couldn't....couldn't stand by whilst they tried to basically assault her in front of my eyes. One...one of them grabbed me to try and stop me helping her, which led to me then trying to wrestle him so I could free myself...eventually I did and she ran off and that guy seemed to give up by that point, but the...the one that had hold of me, well...he didn't seem to give up like his friend...." swallowing hard as she took a deep breath and steadied herself before continuing, it being obvious that she was wrestling with herself internally to actually summon the courage to say the words. "He...He started hitting me, and then started trying to do what his friend had tried doing to her, trying to feel me up if you want to call it that, apparently in order to make me feel 'normal' again, he....he then ripped my pants a bit and my t shirt, forcing me up against the wall of one of the storage rooms that was off to the side before....before then...putting...putting his hand...down...my...my knickers" her eyes filling up and the tension gripping her features as she revealed what he did. "He...he touched me, pawed at me, telling...telling me that I just needed a man's touch, at first....first it didn't seem real, but when...when I felt a searing pain something snapped and I fought back somehow I...I pushed him off and he left, scurried away, that's when...that's when I realised that I had been physically hurt during the scuffles that I'd gotten into, I was bleeding a little, shaking too, and I ended up on..on the floor in that room, with not a clue what to do, I did think about maybe reporting him, both of them but then thought that I should be able to handle it myself, that maybe I caused it, that it was my fault and therefore I should just get over it, that somehow it might affect my career or I'd be blamed, especially given I was a Major. So...I said nothing, got medically discharged and hoped somehow that would be enough, but then....then I was out running and thought....thought I...I saw him and by the time I'd realised it wasn't him, I'd got...got hit and now...now I just want the pain to stop.." her resolve at what she'd told Serena totally crumbling as she dissolved into body wracking sobs as the weight of her past came tumbling down around her as she sat in her office, her head going into her heads, unable to hold back the pain and emotions anymore after all these years.

 

That was the straw that broke the camel's back, the accident.  
That was the trigger.  
It triggered everything.

 

Caused those feelings she thought she'd buried so well all those years ago to resurface. She'd not really buried them that well in that sense, those kinds of feelings don't do well when attempting to be pushed down, because in fact they're not as far down in your psyche as you'd like them to be, no matter how much you'd like them to be, they're always there just below the surface and unless dealt with, as in properly dug up and dealt with they're always prickling away just out of sight, ready to pop up when something in the external world gets too close, too close to that internal wound, that wound that hasn't been healed, like a sore that hasn't gotten a scab on yet, but is open and until it's processed it never does start to heal, unless you start the process yourself, a process that Bernie hadn't done all those years ago and this is the result of her lack of healing.

 

All these factors then resulted in the deputy CEO throwing herself into work and since it was Holby there was more than enough work to do, dividing herself between deputy CEO duties and being co lead of AAU, she couldn't have said she was bored or unoccupied in this sense, but she couldn't say that she had healed either, add in medicating herself after the accident with whiskey to hopefully allow her some sleep from the whirlwind inside her head and you had a literal cocktail for disaster, one that she thought that she could hide from her girlfriend, but Serena wasn't fooled, she saw the decline in Bernie's behaviour, the way the blonde avoided her and situations, wouldn't talk to her, open up to her, would shut down at certain things, she just wasn't the Bernie that she knew and she wanted to know and find out why, little did the brunette that this would be the horrific reason for Bernie's mental and physical decline.

 

For Bernie it was a way to keep all this messy crap from Serena because she felt weak, weak and ashamed, maybe a sense of feeling 'dirty' in there too, that she didn't want to be 'hassle' in Serena's life, feeling like the brunette had had enough to last her a lifetime so she didn't say anything at first, she managed to hide it and hide it well until the accident, then it all fell apart and fell apart quickly, which had now caused them to be in this situation right here and now. That situation being Bernie sounding and being almost in consolable in Serena's arms when she'd finished explaining what had happened to her, the pain she carried and continued to carry even now, pain that was coming out in the form of her body wracking sobs that were soaking into Serena's blouse right now, the years of pain and mental torture were being unchained and let free, the emotional shackles of such an event unable to hold back the waves of pressure and pretence that Bernie had fought to keep in check, finally buckling and breaking, Serena being the physical and emotional anchor that the blonde had needed and craved for all these years, someone who was steady and would just understand and hold her, someone who wanted to understand and hold her, Serena covering all these bases and covering them well, very well.

 

"I'm here darling, I'm here" Serena soothed as she tightened her grip of the blonde, pulling her as close as she could, holding her head against her and touching her lips to Bernie's hair, closing her own eyes at hearing her girlfriend sobbing. "And I'm not going anywhere".


	35. Chapter 35

How long they'd actually been sat there like that neither of them was exactly sure, but in the time they had been sat there it'd allowed Bernie to calm down a bit more than she had been before, allowing herself to physically rest against Serena that bit more as well as emotionally rest against her, lean on her, she'd done this by revealing what she had to the brunette.

 

"How are you feeling?" Serena asked gently, not knowing what else to ask Bernie, knowing it probably wasn't the best question to ask, but feeling like she wanted to ask it anyway.  
"I...I'm not really sure to be honest...erm...drained..." that being one of the best words to describe her feelings at that particular time as she sat in Serena's arms, given how much crying and emotional and nervous energy she'd used up in the few hours.  
"After....after what you've told me and what you've been through, have you...have you thought about maybe speaking to someone, a professional, someone who could help you maybe?" feeling the blonde shift slightly against her as she spoke, almost feeling her thinking over the suggestion she'd just put to her.  
"I...I don't know...if I could" was the wavering reply. "And...and if it'd...it'd actually do anything, it was rather a long time ago" Bernie being rather skeptical at the suggestion, it had been a long time since it'd all happened, back in her army days, which were years ago, almost like another life ago, not the life that she was living now, one that she wasn't in the army with and most people didn't know much about, yes they knew she was a Major in there at one point but that was it, not really much about her experiences and the ins and outs of things and definitely not about what she'd just revealed to Serena, definitely not that, hell no.

 

It was one thing to reveal what had happened to Serena, her girlfriend, that was one thing to open up that wound after all these years , but to then go and open that can of worms to a stranger, well, that's something else, definitely something else, something Bernie hadn't ever allowed herself to do, she'd not gone there as it were, not made herself that vulnerable, and the main reason for this was fear, fear of what may have and what may happen if she did that, if she dared to go near that part of her life, that big part of her past. Could she have handled it?  
Could she have coped?  
Could she cope now?  
Could she afford to go there, to approach that subject?

 

Sensing the reluctance from Bernie regarding the subject of speaking to someone about what had happened to her, Serena started to reveal that after she herself had been in a couple of relationships that turned into be quite abusive ones, not physically but mentally, she herself started to go downhill after said relationships had ended, and this led to her starting to drink as a way of coping and trying to numb to the pain due to what had happened to her and the after effects of the things she'd been through coming to the surface and meaning that she was finding it difficult to move past said things and feelings. But after the drinking steadily started to move to being that bit worse, she had a moment of realisation, a moment that told her she couldn't carry on like this and if she did then the consequences could be very bad, fatal and irreversible. This was the point she made a decision, she bit the bullet and took the hard but necessary decision to go to Occupational Health and seek out some help and this came in the form of counselling, and whilst at first she found it rather hard to say the least to begin talking, to start telling someone about all that had happened to her that had contributed to her being sat here and needing said help, after a few sessions and rather a lot of tears and emotion from herself, she found her shoulders didn't feel as heavy, the burden on her mind wasn't as much as it had been a few weeks ago, she felt like she could breathe a little easier, a weight off her mind as well as off her body.

 

"I was probably one of the most skeptical people in regards to counselling and how it could help me, if at all. But at that time, when I was drinking, it wasn't good to say the least and I needed to do something, something that would stop me spiralling and this was the thing I chose, and quite honestly it's turned out to be one of the best things I've ever chosen to do, yes it's not some people's choice of action, but I'm a firm believer in not discounting or knocking things until you've tried them, given them a go, as they say there's no harm in trying. I feel that this could help you like it's helped me, whilst also knowing how bloody hard it is, how painful taking any action is and you just want to try and forget about it and carry on....but you can't because it always comes up somewhere and doesn't go away unless you make it. There is a way out of this pain that you feel you know, there's a way to not feel this way anymore, to be free and feel better, you don't need to suffer in silence, not at all darling" Serena replied softly to the blonde.

 

She understood the pain, the burden, the terror of beginning to talk about the things that were and had been in your head, it was frightening, and even more so when you had little or no support, this is something that Bernie had herself been lacking over the years it seemed, tough Bernie just carrying on like nothing was wrong, soldiering on for want of a better word, thinking that admitting she was actually starting to or actually struggling was a sign of weakness and something that she herself couldn't do or somehow wasn't allowed, that she had to have and maintain that stiff upper lip, until she couldn't anymore, like now, it'd crept upon her, sneaking into everyday life, made that bit worse by the accident, that'd been the icing on the cake, been the pinnacle moment of the blonde's undoing, her trigger, the thread that had been pulled and made her begin to unravel, leading to where they are now, this moment.

 

Saying nothing more because she didn't need to, Serena simply squeezed the other woman in her arms and held her once again tight to her body, feeling the weight of Bernie become that bit more on her as the deputy CEO relaxed into her girlfriend, allowing Serena and the sofa to take the weight of her, letting herself release the tension in her body that she'd been holding for well....however long it'd been, she wasn't actually sure truth be told, it'd been that long that she'd not actually realised how long she'd been in this state. Along with this, she also allowed herself to close her eyes, taking a deep breath she settled against Serena, those arms that let her know silently that she was safe, she was cared for, she was important and most importantly, that she wasn't alone anymore, physically or mentally.


	36. Chapter 36

Sleep, or lack there of.  
Something Bernie was experiencing at the moment, so much so that after laying awake and unable to drift off back to sleep she decided to get up, being careful and quiet so she didn't wake a sleeping Serena in bed next to her.

 

Making her way downstairs in her pyjamas and then heading into the kitchen, she got herself a glass of water and started sipping in as she padded to the living room, glancing up at a faint tinking sound she could hear, frowning softly she moved across the living room and to the balcony doors, pushing the curtains back and seeing that the sound was in fact light rain that had started outside that a breeze was directing onto her doors.

 

After a few more sips from the glass, she put said glass on the coffee table and then unlocked one of the doors, leaning her face and head outside so that she was able to feel the rain against her skin, closing her eyes as she did so, a deep breath on the water hitting her face.

 

There was something about the feeling of the water on her skin, the coolness of it, the white noise element in her ears, it offered her a grounding feeling, just like it had done that night of the assault, she'd stepped out of the tent not long after the incident had happened and for some odd reason it'd started raining at the same precise moment, maybe it was fate, something in the universe knew that right then and there she needed something, anything to bring about some small token of relief and for a few moments all those years ago it had, the rain had soothed her burning skin, dowsed the feeling of her singed soul from what had happened to her, and now all these years later the rain was here again, easing her pain from what she'd revealed to her girlfriend and her restless body and mind that was unable to sleep properly.

 

Rubbing the light fall of rain over her face, she took a deep breath as she did so, the coolness of the water the opposite of the warmness of her hands, even though this heat that was present when she'd first stepped onto the balcony, was dissipating quickly under the barrage of rain that was slowly getting heavier, just like the pyjama top was that she was wearing as it soaked in the rain water.

 

The next thing Bernie knew was a weight on her shoulders, the sudden presence making her jump a little having not heard anyone else be in close proximity to her.  
"It's ok it's only me and it's only a towel" came the familiar voice of Serena, the other woman having woken up and discovered an empty place beside her in bed, after not seeing her in the bathroom deciding to come and find her to see if she was alright, especially in the present circumstances of what had happened recently. When she'd seen Bernie stood outside in the rain in only her pyjamas, she'd been glad she'd got up to find her, like she wasn't going to do that anyway, but not wanting the other woman to get cold and soaking wet, which may lead to her being ill, Bernie had had enough on her plate recently without adding a cold to this list, that could definitely be avoided.

 

With the towel she had brought outside now around Bernie's shoulders, the blonde leaned into Serena's embrace, feeling the other woman kissing her forehead.  
"Let's go inside where it's dry hmm?" Serena suggested, getting a nod from Bernie and then leading them both inside. 

 

Guiding them to the sofa, Serena turned back to close the balcony doors to stop any more rain coming inside, then taking her place next to Bernie on the sofa, watching the blonde raise her eyes from the floor to look at her, this look being met with a soft and kind smile from her.

 

"Do...do you think any different of me now....now you know..what happened?" Bernie asked, it was a question she felt she wanted to ask, to know the answer to, she'd not asked Serena anything much about what she'd told her, so thought she'd pose the question now before they went any further.  
"Different?" Serena replied, wanting some more clarification of what her girlfriend meant by the word 'different'.  
Bernie gave a little nod.  
"Yeah like...do you think that I'm...dam..damaged goods, or dirty or anything like this?" watching the other woman's eyes widen in horror at what she was saying, a horror at her attaching these words to herself.  
"No..." began the other woman, taking hold of Bernie's hands so the blonde looked at her. "Not at all do I think anything like this about you, the opposite in fact. I feel no different in my feelings for you, if anything they're somewhat stronger now for you after you told me what you did. I think you're so brave to tell me what you have, to go through something so horrendous on your own, that makes you so brave, and such a special individual. I just want to help you and support you in any way I can" these kind and understanding comments and words, causing the deputy CEO to get upset and tearful.

 

"I..thought that...that you might...might think about or actually walk away after what I told you, because of what I told you, that....that you might not want the 'burden' of me and what had happened all those years ago" the vulnerability of Bernie coming out in her tears, her fear of abandonment, her voicing her fears to the woman next to her, the woman who she half expected to have walked away by now, after all what had been revealed to her was rather big, too big for some people, too much of a hassle and too much baggage. 

 

But this was Serena, Serena Campbell, THE Serena Campbell and she was going nowhere, she had no reason at all to disappear, but by god did she have so many reasons to stay right where she was, right here with Bernie.  
Releasing Bernie's hands, Serena wrapped her arms around the other woman and pulled her into her.

 

"Now listen to me, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere, I had no intentions of going anywhere, not at all. I've no reason to go anywhere, everything I want and need is right here and that is you, wonderful, wonderful you" giving the trauma surgeon a reassuring squeeze and kiss on her head. "You're everything to me Bernie, everything, and I'm afraid that you're very much stuck with me" feeling Bernie snuggled further into her at her words, the blonde's hands finding purchase on her pyjama top, her body fully leaning into Serena.

 

Sat there with Bernie in her arms, Serena felt a certain proudness, proud in the sense that she could be the one that her girlfriend leaned on, physically and mentally, that Bernie felt able to show her vulnerability to her and know that Serena could be trusted to help her feel comforted, a comfort she was getting from the other woman right now, comfort that only Serena could offer her.


	37. Chapter 37

She didn't want to be here.  
Not really.  
Not as a rule.  
Anywhere but here.  
Give her meetings, paperwork, emergencies.  
Anything.

 

Instead though she didn't have any of those things.  
She was sat fidgeting with her fingers in the waiting room of the private practice.  
In theory she should be used to this setting.  
The clean and minimal decor, the clinical set up.  
She was deputy CEO and trauma surgeon at Holby.  
But this was slightly different.  
This was about her.  
Holby was essentially about other, about the patients.  
She wasn't exactly used to the focus being solely on her.  
She never had been.

 

Taking a quick glance around the room she was sat in, there were a few other people in the room too, obviously waiting for their own appointments.  
As said people started to filter out to the various rooms, the waiting room got that bit quieter, making Bernie that bit more agitated, more nervous, so much so that in a moment of panic, the blonde stands up from her chair and her eyes eyed the front door to leave.

 

"Berenice Wolfe?".

 

Her name.  
This getting her attention instantly.  
A woman slightly older than herself smiling at her, stood outside her office from across the room.  
Bernie nodded silently at her at first, trying to get her voice to work.  
Taking a deep breath she managed to croak softly.  
"Y....Yes" as she made her way to the door, moving into the office, but pausing before shutting the door behind her, panic once again rising at whether she could actually be here and do this after all, was it the best idea? "I...I don't....think that I can do this..".

 

Watching the woman in front of her, Alison the psychotherapist, immediately knew that Bernie was panicking, stepping in to try and calm her.  
"It's all ok, Bernie you're alright, maybe you could take one of the chairs right there next to you.." referring to the chair just inside the door. "I'll get you some water too, would you like some water?" seeing the blonde nod at the water offer and then after a few minutes Bernie slowly sat down on the chair that had been suggested to her, Alison handing her a bottle of water and then she herself returning back to her own chair at the other side of the coffee table in the middle of the room, allowing Bernie the space she needed at that moment, watching the bottle of water be opened and a few sips taken from it, the hand with said bottle shaking a little as it did.

 

Finishing drinking the water that she wanted, Bernie put the top back on and then slowly raised her eyes so she met Alison's.  
"I...I'm sorry for..for this.." feeling somewhat embarrassed and silly for how she's reacted.  
Alison quickly shut this down, telling her that she's nothing to apologise for, it being totally natural for her to feel this way, seeing the woman in front of her then reopen the bottle of water and sip from it a couple more times.

 

"Maybe you'd like to come and sit on one of these chairs here, they're a bit more comfortable" motioning to the chairs near the coffee table, and they were comfy ones, more so than the one Bernie was current sat on, just wanting the other woman to be comfortable physically and mentally.  
Taking up the offer she rose from her current chair and came to sit on the other chair, Alison sat across from her, allowing Bernie to settle into where she was now sat.  
After a few moments of silence, Alison started the conversation about it being a good and positive, not to mention brave step that Bernie had made to come here, especially given how scary and daunting it is for many people.

 

"I...I..did think about leaving" Bernie admitted quietly, and she had, she had been just a couple of seconds away from being out that door before Alison came to the office door and called her through for her appointment.  
"That's understandable, but the fact remains that you didn't run, because you're here now, and that is huge thing, you should be proud" seeing Bernie give a little nod at the praise, seeming to inwardly be a little proud that she'd made it through the door as it were.

 

Next conversation was speaking about Bernie's background and a brief idea of why she's here, this then moved onto the army and her career, the mention of the army causing some heightened anxiety in the blonde, this something that Alison realised and backed off from the subject, allowing Bernie to calm down before they continued to talk, making a mental note of this.

 

Once she was calmer again, Bernie made the comment about something happening to her years and years, and that this incident is something that she's not spoken about before to anyone, until recently when she spoke to her girlfriend about it, because she'd sensed something was wrong.  
"This incident that you speak of, did it happen in the army and not with a female?" Alison reading between the lines of what Bernie was telling her and trying to join the dots and get the 'message' that the woman opposite her was trying to send her.

 

This question was greeted with a nod, it making it slightly easier for Bernie to acknowledge it, because Alison had read between the answers she'd given and knew what she was saying, without saying it directly.  
"This is definitely something that I can help you deal and process with, I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but I can definitely help you. I'm very glad and proud that you came here and are here now. You mentioned that you have a girlfriend, may I ask her name and if is she supportive of you? I ask this because, I want to make sure that you've got support when you leave here and for the up and coming sessions in the future weeks".  
"Oh yes...yes she's very supportive, her name is Serena and I couldn't ask for someone better by my side, she's absolutely wonderful, and means so much to me" Bernie's face lessening of tension for the first time since she stepped into the room, Alison seeing how her face lit up as she spoke of Serena, it being obvious what the other woman meant to the deputy CEO.

 

Alison gave a kind smile at Bernie speaking of her girlfriend, then arranging their next appointment together for the following week around the same time, it seeming that the time was a good one for Bernie and Alison herself had a free space at this time the next week, both women exchanging a pleasant goodbye before Bernie then left the office and the building, heading to her car in the car park, once she'd got into her car she text Serena. 'I've just got out of my appointment and am in my car xxx'.

 

Not having to wait five minutes before she got a reply from the other woman, Serena having not long finished her shift at Holby.

 

'That's such great news to here, you've been so brave. Come over to mine tonight? xxx'.

 

Bernie couldn't help smile at the message, imagining the woman herself saying it to her, it acting as a comfort after what had started as quite a stressful few hours waiting in that waiting room and then at the beginning of the session itself.

 

'I can't think of anything better to do tonight, I'll be there soon xxx' putting her phone in the centre console of her car, before putting her seatbelt on, the radio on low and making her way out of said car park, heading for Serena's, step one, session one complete.


End file.
